Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
Apenis in KGB captivity has been eliminated from an art competition in Russia. The graffiti of a penis on a bridge (so it would look erect when the bridge is raised) was added to a contest from the State Centre of Contemporary Arts. Later it was removed. Now the members of the group who drew the member are complaining. Then again this group is specialized in protests against the Goverment.
Moving away from the penises, or is it penii? We're going up to the boobs... Well more precisely breast milk Ice Cream. A London Ice Cream made (human) Breast Milk Ice Cream. It would sell for $23 a serving!? I dunno, the concept of farming humans doesn't seem enticing to me. Picture the scene from the matrix... but with women and stuck with lactating machines...
Once again I'll use the Child Within Me to do the review, cause as an adult these guys are doomed... I think I've said this before...
Articulation: Both Splinter and April have 8 PoA. The difference between them is that April has a waist swivel and Splinter does not. Instead he has a tail swivel.
Adult Me gives them a 2.0
Child Me gives them a 5.0
Paint and Sculpt:
I need to get something out of my chest... or in this case April's Chest... This is based on one version of April, the one I did not have... Mine had orange accents on her clothes AND the word Press on top of her left boob. My April's headsculpt was different as well... Recently I found out that My April was part of a running change. They eliminated the Press, because some parents thought that it was a perverted faulty action figure... I will NOT be taking that into consideration on the review. But the faulty Paint around her right eye and COmpletely Off-Center Tampograph of the Word Turtles on her DO Annoy me.
Adult Me gives her a 2.5 Kid Me give her a 3.5 (Looks creepy.)
Splinter on the other hand is good. For an 80s Sculpt it's pretty detailed with the fur sculpting. There is a small scratch on his nose, but aside that the paint is flawless. (Loses a bit for having a cloth robe... Grrr!
Adult Me gives him a 4.5 Kid me a 5.o
Accessories:
The TMNT Toys HAVE a LOT of accessories: Splinter has a Cane with a surprise... It turns into a sword, Bow & Arrow, Shuriken and a rack! Aside the Bow being stuck to the Arrow (Safety laws or some other crap.) he is super cool! Adult me rating: 4.5 Kid me rating: 5.0
April, on the other hand is screwed. She has her Camera with hidden gun a Flashlight... I mean Microphone, a Shuriken and a Suitcase/Laptop thing that WON'T CLOSE at all!!...
Adult me rates it: 3.5 Kid Me 4.5
Overall:
Splinter: A- 3.33 K- 5.0
April: A- 2.67 K- 4.33
Paint and sculpt really hurt April. Now if I could Find Shredder, Rocksteady, Bebop, Foot Soldier, Casey Jones and Slash! I'd be happy...
If you haven't guessed what I'm going to review by the Title, Let's have some BG Music
Yup! It's another Transformers review. This time is a multi pack: Rodimus vs Cyclonus.(featuring Nightstick) Based on the 1986 Transformers movie.
Let's get to it.
The packages shows the contents pretty well, except the free comic based on G1 Continuity...
It has Rodimus, Cyclonus, Nightstick AND The Autobot Matrix of Leadership! The sucker is made out of Diecast Metal... and it's heavy!!
The comic tells some events that apparently happened Off-screen in the movie.
You can see both modes here. I will move on to the review:
Articulation:
Rodimus:
He's got a decent range of movement, but only when unarmed. The gun limits a LOT of the Articulation on his arm. Transformation is mostly easy. After looking at the manual once I was able to pull it off with no troubles. 4.0
Cyclonus:
He's got a better range of movement than Rodimus. His Transformation is a bit tricky. I had to look at the intructions a couple of times...4.5
Nightstick: For a pack-in Weapon, he's got 10 PoA. His Transformation is easy as pie... 5.0
Paint and sculpt:
Rodimus: The sculpt is Decent, he looks Rodimus-like. (I have no other Rodimus toys to compare him to, but I was able to recognize him.) Paintwise, Rodimus suffers from some paint slop on his hood... 4.5
Cyclonus: He is recognizable. I admit that I had forgotten his name. I had him as a kid. Can't forget those Batman "horns" Also he's got the light piping thing so his eyes glow red when standing in front of a light source. Paintwise, I don't see any slop or anything. 4.5
Nightstick: I didn't remember him at all. The sculpt works and little guy's paint is flawless. 5.0
Accessories:
This is a Two-Pack... Technically speaking it's a 3 Pack so we must take that into consideration.
Rodimus: He's got his gun/exhaust pipe that fires a missile. Spring loaded missile... Trigger's a bit tough, but the missile doesn't fly that far. It also has a rounded tip. (Ridiculous looking I might add. Round tipped flames) and the Matrix of Leadership. He can hold it thanks to a hidden tab that pops under his left hand. 4.0
Cyclonus: He's got Nightstick, like his previous toys. 4.5
Overall:
Rodimus: 4.33
Cyclonus: 4.5
NightStick: 5.o
Whole Package: 4.61 I believe this is a must have if you like Transformers and can't afford the Takara toys. For $17 dollars I got three awesome toys and a Freaking Die Cast Matrix of Leadership.
Reality TV, the Monster that killed the Music on the now Moronic Television. Some people call it the cancer that is ruining TV. I mostly agree, but I've seen a couple of shows that I've liked.
I will start with the one that I re-watched recently: The Joe Schmo Show.
The video shows the "Eviction ceremony" of the show. For those of you who didn't know about this "show" Here's the Premise: An average dude is in a reality show, little does he know that EVERYTHING is a lie. (The rest of the "contestants" are actors and everything has been meticulously scripted to re-create a true reality show where the star is the unknowing contestant.) Our "schmo" is Matt Kennedy Gould, one of the nicest guys I've seen in this TV genre. Sadly I couldn't find a clip of Matt's "what is going on!?"
Road Rules:
MTV's second Reality show, slightly more exciting than The Real World Through 14 seasons a group of 5-6 strangers travelling on a Recreational Vehicle, doing missions for cash. The show evolved into a "Game show" which made it more exciting for viewers like me... Who can't stand the Real World... except when it clashes with Road Rules... on The Real World/ Road Rules Challenge(s)! I have to admit that they're not the same since a favorite cast member of mine left... This Real World cast Member is now...
Whaaaat? Mike Mizanin from Real World is The Miz? Damn! *Ahem!* AWESOME!
Let's Move on, Our next show has no links in Youtube. It's more of a game show, now that I look at my small list; All my shows are game oriented.
Spike TV's Murder: A show in which the CSI Wannabe contestants have to collect evidence and present their findings to Detective Tommy Le Noir. The Detective determines who was the most accurate and declares a "winner" (Most of these cases if not ALL of them are based on true Murders.)
Last on my small List is: I survived a Japanese game show
Japanese Game Shows are something out of this world for Westerners. Mix the "insanity" of Japanese Shows (Think Double Dare minus the questions) with the American Reality show... You get... This show. Sadly it was cancelled after 2 seasons.
I do not watch too much reality TV and that's mostly due to the fact that the shows I like get canned. Meanwhile the craptacular love quests of Flavor Flav, New York, Brett Michaels (isn't he banging Miley's mom?) and possibly Snooki are shoved down our throats!
Now, after the show is done you come out there with this!? So she had "her people", but Parent beats "her people" 9 times out of 10, especially when she was a minor! To top things off YOU KNOW HOW SHOWBIZ WORKS! Remember Achy Breaky Heart, the acting jobs... Heck YOU were on the SAME DAMNED SHOW THAT "DESTROYED" YOUR FAMILY! You're right on one thing Mr. Cyrus: You should've acted more like a parent instead of a friend.
Vanity fair pics:
As a Parent you should've stopped that. Everything else as well. OF COURSE "her people" were using you as a scapegoat! That's the oldest trick in the book! You were supposed to take a stand, she's YOUR Child!? Sure it's easier for me to complain and do armchair parenting, but I know that YOU KNEW Better... but what stopped you!?
In any case I hope you can at least save your relationship with your daughter...
On the 15th, Bow will steal the hearts of collectors on Matty. Mattel is trying too hard to use V-day as an angle for Bow's sales... ON THE DAY AFTER! *epic Facepalm* All is forgiven though since Catra is coming in May, Blonde Bikini Teela in June, Clawful in July and Man-E-Faces in August...
Now this is WTF worthy: OK; this guy dreamt of hunting elephants. He went on a trip to Africa to hunt elephants. The guy is SUING the Travel Agency because there were NO ELEPHANTS!? Yeah, like the Travel Agency can control the appearance of Elephants. The Agency organized another expedition where the man realized his dream, yet he is SUING!? What the HELL man!? Hunts are never 100% guaranteed...
From Russia without Love... Conservatives are moving against some 'Western holidays' like Valentine's Day or Halloween, with claims that they're capitalist propaganda for the sale of products... more or less. I agree on the thought that those holidays ARE mostly about promoting the sales of products. What I disagree is forcing the ban on EVERYONE...
Parrots tend to be left handed!? Hookay! Apparently it helps them be more efficient or something... Probably more creative too if the things they say about left handed people are true...
Ok True Believers let's recap a bit: Johnny Storm, also known as The Human Torch is dead. The Fantastic Four are no more...
Now they are: The Future Foundation.
Reed Richards Is Elastic, Sue can Fade From Sight, Spidey is the Human Dork, The Thing just loves to fight!
I don't know much about the storyline, but there's a few things that bother me.
First: The Logo. the 3 hexagons look cool in theory, but look at Reed's Logo. I see a Penis with Black balls. Can you see it? Now Look at Ben and sue's logos. it's the same penis pointing in another direction. Maybe if the logo was upside down it would look more like Mickey mouse instead of a penis.
Second: WHITE!? No, just no. The suits have a medical facility or a Mac vibe on them. I wouldn't mind grey with white accents.
Third: Spider-Man!? On yet ANOTHER Team? What is he Diet Wolverine?
White doesn't look good on Spidey. He needs some red and blue, stat!
Now the principle of having a new team handling universe shaking things seems interesting. Spidey as a "Founding Member"? not so much...
Now that I got the Conan joke out of the way, let's do the review.
Vikor is one of the He-Man concepts that made it to the prototype stage.
He kinda looks like a certain Barbarian/Destroyer/Machine/Governor of...
Oh Ahnuld! why did you have to choose the state of... Son't say it again Kid from The Wizard... I wanna say it.
CALIFORNIA!
BTW guess where Mattel's HQ are located...
OK as I was saying VIKOR is Basically He-Man before we got He-Man... Very Barbarian like. A few changes and we got the HE-Man we know and love.
Now let's move on to the review. You already know 1= What? Crap! Muy Bien! and cinco (5) is? Awesome! Let's go... If you read this and heard Dora the Explorer's voice in your head, then you're not going crazy...
Articulation: Same as the average MOTUC Figure. The head loses a bit of articulation due to the cape and long hair. The Ankles are super tight due to a new sculpt but I'll talk about that in the next point. 4.5
Paint and Sculpt: Here's the thing: Vikor's got a bunch of new sculpt. Hands, thigsh left Bicep, Lower Torso andthe feet seem to be shared parts. The upper Torso seems to be new. I suspect this for two reasons: There is no rectangular scar from the original King Grayskull mold that had a hole in the back to fit his armor/cape. The second reason is that they changed the neck peg. Now it is not a barbell, but similar to the female neck pegs. Not cool Mattel. Paintwise he's painted nicely although mine had a huge chunk of either white paint or glue on one of his boots. The weapons have a killer paint job that make them look more realistic instead of the standard toy-like look from the MOTU weapons. 4.5
Accessories: Okay! Vikor has a Killer Sword a Pointy Shield and a Cool Ax!
Hopefully we will see repaints of these in future Weapons packs... 4.5
Overall:4.5 Vikor Frigging rocks! He isn't perfect (QC issues are what held his score a bit.) Now He will go and crush his enemies, see them driven before him and hear the lamentations of the women!
This ICFTTC is very special since it's full of generic guys...
The Eternian Palace Guards. You know, the guys that Teela and Man-at-Arms boss around. The guys that are armored like MAA...
They've been around since Filmation and NOW we get the first OFFICIAL Palace Guard toys...
Since these guys are mostly a bunch of No-Names, I'll get on with the review part. As always 1 = crap and 5 = awesome!
Articulation: Well It's the Standard MOTUC Articulation. No changes here. 4.0
Paint and Sculpt: Sculpt these guys are the basic body with Keldor feet and Triklops Arms. The details are on the armor and heads. The left side of the armor is a straight reuse from MAA's. The right armor is Identical to the left side, but mirrored. The only issue is that none of the armor pieces seem to fit that guards well. (the pieces dance around the limbs.) As you can see the Torso armor matches Battle Armor He-Man's in execution. Hard plastic with swappable chest pieces. No; the Battle Armor He-Man plates do not fit on these guys. I tried. Swapping the armor plates scares the crap out of me and I don't think I'll ever do it with them. Now the paint department on the other hand is a bit sloppy. (paint rub from the shields strikes the guards' hands.) One of my guards has a sloppily painted armor. 4.5
Accessories: Here you get a lot of stuff.Two Halberds, two shields, the extra two chest plates (4 in total: Eagle for the Lt. and 3 different plates for the Private... with different degrees of Battle Damage like BA He-Man.) Two shields, two faceguards (helps differentiate the guards a bit and reduce the Clone army effect) and 4 heads: White Male... (More on him later.) Black male, Qadian (The cat head) and a Reptile head. Weird enough there are no guns in this pack...
4.5
Overall Score: 4.33
Here the paint slopon the guard hands was the principal detractor of points. The other detractor is the fact that the armor slides off the guards way too easily even when strapped sown "correctly."
BONUS!! Strip one guard out of his entire armor (except TORSO Armor) and put it on MAA (After removing MAA's arm and leg Armor) and you get the closest thing to a Filmation Man-At-Arms... For some reason Mattel did not make the Guards and MAA in the same shade of Orange... Well since these guys are No-Names I had to make up some biographies for them...
Here they are:
The unmasked black guy: "Buster"
Real name: Tectum F'Delis
The F'delis brothers grew up in the countryside near Eternos. Their only family was their uncle, a veteran of The Great Unrest; who told them stories every night about the bravery of King Randor and the heroic warriors that drove the Evil Forces out of Eternia. When the boys became of age they traveled to Eternos in order to join the Royal Guard. In the Academy Tectum proved himself to be a powerful warrior whose reckless Nature often leaves him open for attack. His prowess with short range weapons, especially the offensive use of shields makes Tectum the perfect warrior to bust through enemy lines. He proudly serves under Lt. Spector's command.
The Masked Black Guy: "Chessman"
Real Name: Mucro F'Delis
The F'delis brothers grew up in the countryside near Eternos. Their only family was their uncle, a veteran of The Great Unrest; who told them stories every night about the bravery of King Randor and the heroic warriors that drove the Evil Forces out of Eternia. When the boys became of age they traveled to Eternos in order to join the Royal Guard. In the Academy, Mucro's levelheadedness and extreme cautiousness allows him to be a great tactician. His love for Chess is almost as great as his sense of duty. Lt. Spector Values Chessman's strategic prowess with his life.
The unmasked White guy: "Old-Man"
Real Name: L. Eery-Mere
Lucius Eery-Mere is the former drill instructor of the Royal Guard. A veteran of the Marzo uprisings and former candidate to the Title of Man-At-Arms; Lucius has seen and lived through Hell. Only those who pass on through his training become actual Palace guards. The arrival of the Snakemen and the Horde in Eternia made the Old-Man yearn for Battle once more. Lt. Spector values the advice from the Old-Man.
The Masked White Guy: Lt. Spector
Real Name: John Spector
John Spector does not look like a Soldier. In fact you'd think he'd be better off working as a toymaker. His small squad reports directly to Man-At-Arms and Teela regarding Missions that are not suited for the Heroic Warriors. His charisma helps rally the troops when the Heroic Warriors are not around thanks to his oratory skills.
He is considered the "Official Un-official" liaison between the troops and Man-at-Arms.
(John Spector is pretty much Scott Neitlich... as in the MOTU Brand Manager... Speaking of which here's a song that the good old Lt. Loves to sing to the troops!)
