Jun 24, 2015

It Came from the Toy chest: Free Hugsssss? I gotssss them. No Sssspikor though

Guess you know who is coming? Long hisssssing Sssss sounds, Free Hugs reference, and it's a Mattycollector June Item... It's Sssssqueeze: the last Snakeman

Who is he and what does he do? He's a Snakeman, though his gator head is perplexing... Then again, we have a salamander/poison dart frog, a gorgon, a Hydra and an Actual Snake on the Snakemen... Kobra Khan is not a Snakeman... So we have a Long Armed Alligator as a Snake, man!
Ssssqueeze is inspired by the Anaconda... Spike, that link better not be to a Nicki Minaj video...
But something got lost in translation and he ended up looking Gator-like. The only place where his Anaconda background isn't missing is in his action feature. After Mattel had sworn off on Bendy Material (which made us miss out on a better Slush head and Octavia) they have come back and given us a Sssqueeze with Bendy Arms...

His arm span is almost as tall as Grayskull!
Let's crack him open and review him:

From the Abs down he's the standard male MOTUC Figure with Boot Cut Articulation The arms are bendy so he has some Decent range of Articulation. Ratchet joints allow his arms to stay up... Finding balance for him is a bit hard. 5.0

Paint and Sculpt:
He's pretty much 100% new sculpt. OK he's more like 98,75% new sculpt seeing that the boots, crotch (not the loincloth) and the thigh connectors are the only seemingly old pieces on him. Paintwise he is BRIGHT!! Sadly mine has some paint chips on the right thigh armor and a bit of purple on his neck. I also dislike the flat purple he has. I'm so painting mine metallic as soon as I finish this review... or halfway through. One odd thing: The right thigh spikes seem to be glued incorrectly.

A Snake Cane... It used to be a more twisted snake in the 80s. Now Sssqueeze can feel like a sir. All he needs is a monocle and a top hat. That's it... The Mattel beancounters would say that at least he got long arms. Isn't that enough for you!? We lost our shirts, shorts and briefs in order to give you bendy arms. 1.0

Squeeze gets a 3.5 as his final score. He lacked some Ooomph! to go beyond being a slightly larger and more articulated version of the vintage figure.

Now with all that said. I wish we could have gotten SOME 200X Influences, namely the head. I hate his gator head a lot. the repainted vest and loincloth give him a nice 200X look to him. (I would have painted the boots, but disassembling these legs is a pain and I'd then need to remove the feet to put in Green Duck Feet to make him more 200X (which is outside of my limitations)

I wanted to like Sssqueeze, but I can't. Between the choices to go Straight up Vintage and my lack of nostalgic attachment to the character; I can't muster enough energy to care about the guy... Snake men are done... woohoo... Next month is 200X Begins and either Peekablue or Mara... So, basically a Rock Hard Dude and a chick... The following month is a chick and weeded out dude... and maybe I'll get some head action...
Your mind... out of the gutter NOW! I'm talking about the Head pack.

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