If ClassicTMNT Ultimates are done, these are my top 8 wants:

 While I HOPE the rumors are fake, Past experiences with Playmates flexing their Master License muscle, means the line is gonna be incomplete. So for this list I'll pick 8 characters, no variants. No Hyoomans who wish to pay me tribute... except you-know-who, but he's half food.

Chrome Dome:

Mainly due to Tournament Fighters, and having one as a Kid. I mentioned tournament fighters since it gives a slightly different design from Playmates. Making him Vac Metal would anger Playmates. So, metallic white for him.

I'd make him with a MOTUC physique to portray the Largeness of the toon version without the size.  

Heads:

Normal

Battle damaged

Hands:

Standard hands

Battle damaged hands

For accessories:

Space Cadet Raph Sai

New Laser sword

New laser flail (think Megatron)

Groundchuck:

We have the Cartoon and Shredder's revenge as reference. To differentiate from Playmates, the Mechanical leg should be more blocky looking.

The torso, instead of scale mail, should be chainmail over a blue torn shirt. We're reinterpreting, not reproducing... unfortunately.

His various armor Bullseyes should be modified with a red dot in the center and painted gold instead of yellow. 

Single head screaming with angry expression see Manhattan Project as reference when he swings the pipe.

Standard handsfor accessories:

Wrist mounted dart gun (modified to look different from Playmates)

Cattle prod staff (think a bo staff sized prod. Doubles as a Manhattan project Pipe reference. Should be made in game inspired colors)

Laser gun

Dirtbag:

Just as Groundchuck, we have the games and the Toon for inspiration.

Visually, we'll go with Manhattan project with 2 bare feet and shirtless look with suspenders.

Single head with a subtler grimace than the toy and yellowed teeth.

Standard hands 

For accessories:

Pickaxe

Shovel

Backpack (both pickaxe and shovel can be attached to it)

General Traag:

Been there done that.

Toon design with rocky details more rocky and painted like the vintage figure.

For accessories use the Shredder's revenge stuff.

Pizzaface:

The Jim Lawson art of Pizzaface will be the main source. That means he's a four fingered short king. Think Danny DeVito sized.

Then referencing the vintage toy to fill in some details from the back.

The Apron MUST BE soft goods. Like the Pizza Michelangelo one, but with Pizzaface's Ninja Pizza Logo. In card, he'll have the Apron on, but you can fold the top part and tie the apron in a Vintage inspired style. The hat should be soft goods as well

Heads:

The Lawson styled head

A Shredder's revenge inspired head, but sculpted and painted to look more Pizza-like. This head should have the prototype Meatball head eating him. (Hidden by hat)

Hands:

Standard

Accessories:

Throwable nasty pizzas

• Toxic Pizza
• Explosive Pizza 
• Sharp Pizza

Interchangeable legs:

• Cleaver
• Pizza Peel
• Rolling pin
• Oversized can opener (vintage non moving parts

Other weapons:

• Pizza cutter 

Mona Lisa:

For the most part, She'd be toon based, but 

The forearms would be toy inspired. The ascot would be plastic as well as her belt and both would be removable. She gets a soft goods removable unitard as a nod to the toy.

Heads:

Neutral

Angry

Kiss

Hands: 

Standard

Fist with keys as faux brass knuckles

Accessories:

Pepper spray can

Tazer

Backpack

Throwable books

Napoleon Bonafrog:

This one WILL Stray from the Original Asmodeus it's going to be a "classicized" Napoleon. (See Battleground Evil Lyn)

Genghis body with new crotchpiece, forearms, and feet with sandals. Painted in Vintage Napoleon colors.

Heads:

Head mimicking the vintage toy snarling expression

Genghis tongue head in Napoleon colors.

Hands:

same as Genghis. "Whip using hand"

Accessories:

Whip coiled up and in mid whip

Badminton racket styled electric swatter.

Peace necklace

Fly Jarwith rope that ties to his waist (for snackage and appeasing Playmates)

Fugitoid:

Again, I can't do better than past rant me.

Honestly, I'd rather have the Channel 6 trio, Dask and Kala instead of half this list. But I said no Humans besides Pizzaface and Neutrinos are humanoid. So they HAD to be left out.

So I saw TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 35TH ANNIVERSARY

 Still stands to this day as the Best Comic Book Movie Ever. Batman (the 60s one), Dredd (the one with Karl Urban), Punisher: Warzone, and to a lesser extent the first Spider-Man (the Sam Raimi one). I know it sounds insane because they are far better comic book movies from a cinematic standpoint.

But I'm using a different lens. Which movies capture the FEEL of the comics, not just copying visuals like a fourth rate Michael  Bay, but capturing the characters. That's how

I can say with a straight face That Batman and Robin by Joel Schumacher is a much better Batman movie than the Christopher Nolan trilogy. The movies I mentioned didn't do 1:1 copies of the comics or just copy panels. They, in theor own way, brought the comics to life.

While yes, the Original (and Best) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, is dated, and a low budget movie, with all its limitations, it made not only an impressive adaptation of the material, but it was the original gateway to the True TMNT. Long before thhe 2003 series was conceived, the 1990 movie was the perfect hybrid of both the Source Material, and the kid friendly "bastardization" (that despite my reverence to Mirage, the MWS universe is my main TMNT playground).

I wish more movies could learn from it. Learn from Dredd, from the 60s Batman... hell even some visual elements from...

Yes... The fourth rate Michael Bay himself. He's good at establishing shots... he just needs to use less slow-mo.

A return to more practical effects. I know the Bay Produced TAINT had actors in turtle shaped MOCAP suits and for Action scenes it makes sense, but for non-Action scenes, practical trutle suits and use CGI to correct any issues from practical like say this:

James Gunn's Superman is a beginning to a return to this, but under Gunn's irreverent style, which comes from his Troma background. After the end of the Infinity Gauntlet Saga, the MCU lost its way and tried to artificially recreate Phase One but couldn't get the ball rolling as they were betting on setting up the next big event. They, in a way repeated the same blunders WB did after the "Marthagate" and desperate attempts to correct course from the Snyderflops. 

The reason why these movies feel better than others is that they're good on their own and aren't just one piece of a larger puzzle.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES somehow managed to catch lightning in a bottle by creating an extremely respectful adaptation to the source Material with a not so high budget and being Actually Good! Especially in an era where comic book movies were bastardized in ways that they barely resembled the source Material. Like my beloved Burton Batman films.

I think the world is ready for a True to Mirage TMNT Live Action movie.

Rumor that screws a lot of my prewritten TMNT rants

Remember how Playmates had killed NECA's Mirage TMNT line by flexing their Master License dick? Well, apparently, they killed Super 7's Classic TMNT run. Apparently, Playmates was demanding...

One Million Dollars, for Super7 to have access to the Vintage Roster BUT they couldn't be Vintage Accurate, because it intereferes with the lazy reissues (at times with inaccurate accessories), or their odd new "MOTU ORIGINS" inspired line. This rumor is CREDIBLE because this is not the first time Playmates has (ab)used  their Master License power. 

It's a shame that Super7's incompetence, Vintage Purism, and Playmates massive dickery killed this line. But some Mattel disgruntled ex employee will probably blame me for it too.

So, where do we go from here now:

I barely modified the vintage inspired lists to remove Vintage elements and added some Playmates sucks type sentences. 

If Super7 is stuck with 2k3, then my time with TMNT Ultimates is nearing its end. 

Personally, I could.Accept a Vintage Inspired Redesign type of TMNT Line:

For example...

He's gonna say Pizzaface...

Pizzaface.

Make him more Mario Batali inspired. Changing the boot for a rubber clog, Ginger, face being a cross between Batali and Barth from You Can't Do That On Television... but it'll come at a price.

He would have to end up lookong a bit more pizza-like... not fully blown Pizza the Hut, but to have elements of cheese skin breaking down and revealing his sauce. Some brown spots of burnt cheese on his skin and stuff.

Use different leg attachments. I've mentioned the Pizza Peel as a replacement to the Pizza cutter. Though the Pizza cutter COULD be used without the pizza box (something that 3D printers can fix)

Walkabout would have to be reinvented completely and 

I was thinking more of

But no outside media makes it harder for Walkabout.

I want to hope that these rumors are false, buuuuuuut seeing past Playmates history they might be true.

More thoughts on the FTC randos:

 With the fans, crew, and that guy... I've been thinking. The lines could expand... and the logical expansion, aside more characters are: Playsets and Vehicles.

Now hear me out:

I'm not talking about MOTUC Sized Playsets. I'm thinking smaller playsets.

For example Arena seats for the wrestling fan line that could also double as movie theater seats. Backstage arenas for wrestlers. Using both plastic and cardboard elements. Concession stand, kitchen, aside the usual ones.

Concession stand could come with a popcorn cart so we can recreate the infamous Taker vs Maven brawl. Using the old THQ Smackdown games as inspiration for backstage arenas. 

Vehicles:

I know FTC isn't well known for quality big vehicles. Their Ambulance disappeared after a bunch of bad reviews.

But here's the thing:

They should start smaller... Golf Cart... they could also do a golfing 45/47... 

A Segway-esque vehicle would be nice.

Once they get the hang of making good smaller vehicles, they can graduate to larger stuff like actual vehicles: 

Food truck, Ice cream truck, police car, etc.

Another Area I forgot to mention was Accessories. That's what FTC has specialized in years. That means for starters extra hands. They have a massive amount of accessories that could be used by non-wrestlers if they had proper hands to grip them. We could use the two count and three count hands on the wrestling fans and on Donald Trump. A version of Trump's OK sign hands would be great if implemented to other figures (in the appropriate sizes). There are also other hands that might be considered "inappropriate" but needed. Metal Horns, flipping the bird,  gun fingers, mano a borsa (Italian hands), etc. 

I'm not going to ask for alternate heads for the characters, because, that would be unlikely.

Buuut I do have a crazy idea:

Once they have a decent library of parts, they could do with these new bodies what they did with the older Jakks inspired bodies.

Let's start with the children:

The girls could get some "new" bodies: (new parts on the old body)

New upper arms and legs in addition to a skirt piece to make dresses for girls.

Light blue, pink, yellow, lavender.

That would apply to the Caucasian version and the Melanin heavy version. Yeah Black children should be a thing.

Speaking of black children:

We need some hairstyles that aren't simply straight up repaints of white girl heads:

• Curly Bob
• Braids
• Big bun atop head (similar to Jade but only one ball instead of two)
• Straightened hair with hairbow.
• Mini fro
• Repaint of Karen
• Repaint of Kaylee

The Caucasian girls could get some specific items exclusive to the parts set.

For example Gingers being exclusive to the parts set. 

Heads: 

• Pigtails
• Ponytail with baseball hat
• Bowlcut
• Curly
• Mid back Long hair

In addition, an alternative to the new dress bodies specific colorways could be made for the child body: both Caucasian and the Melanin heavy versions

• Pink shirt orange pants
• Green shirt lavender pants
• Light blue shirt Grey pants
• Black shirt red pants
• Red shirt blue pants
• Green shirt blue pants

If "new" bodies are on the table, the boys could get long pants. These could be exclusive to the body parts section.

Now for the heads:

Dark skinned:

• Flat top
• Short 
• Mini fro
• Shaved head

Caucasians are easier:

Recolors of the existing 3 boys.

Add a few hairstyles like:

• Bowlcut
• Parted in the middle think John Connor 
• Cap facing forward

Now, I won't go in on the rest, as I've done variations of this before.

I just wanted to explain the idea better...

But yeah, there is potential, but it would depend on how well they're selling.  Currently I'm worried that my reward points have vanished and I can't see them. But whatever... 

Accessories: what could they do?

More Concession stand food is an obvious one.

I want to say weapons for thugs and robbers... even if it's just to entice superhero line customers.

Kids could use toys. Again, I'm expanding usage outside the arena bleachers. The adults could use some accessories, like purses for the ladies, coffee cups for both, etc.

Maximum Series Deadpool is ToyBiz Deadpool with more accessories:

 For $50 you get Deadpool with a few extra hands, alternate head for eating a burrito a few hands, guns, and Doop... hence the ToyBiz reference, since Deadpool came with Doop.

I don't see the $50 value there. At best it's a $40 figure. Is there even anything new on that Deadpool? Personally. I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S WORTH IT.

Test your might! Test your might! Test you might! Test your might!

 MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!!

You know how it goes:

I have an update on the MK Kollection game:

Mortal Kombat – 1992 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis, Game Boy, Game Gear)

Mortal Kombat II – 1993 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis, Game Boy, 32X)

Mortal Kombat 3 – 1995 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis)

Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 – 1995 (Arcade, WaveNet Arcade, SNES)

Mortal Kombat Trilogy – 1996 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat 4 – 1997 (Arcade)

Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero – 1997 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat Special Forces – 2000 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat Advance – 2001 (Game Boy Advance)

Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance – 2002 (Game Boy Advance)

Mortal Kombat: Tournament Edition – 2003 (Game Boy Advance)

The shitty spin-off games made it! ML Trilogy made it! No True Deadly Alliance, Deception, or Armageddon. But it has all the 2D MKs so that's something. Anyways: Soon...

Top 100 things I'd like to see from SuperActionStuff Part 4:

 I need to remind myself that the list is about Items, not necessarily SETS. Although, I can do sets. Part 3 can be found Right Here. Now let's begin

40: Traffic Barrels, cones, and cylinders:

I know other companies make cones. But we need traffic Barrels and cylinders for some construction dioramas.

39: Podcast set:

Ringlight, desk microphone, web cam, and  cellphone stand come to mind for modern era video podcasts.

38: Headstones, grave markers,etc.:

Thinking Cemetery/graveyard set.

Headstones of different styles and sizes, plaques, grave markers, statues, obelisks, even, "altar/shrine" styled markers. Hell, the set could come inside a "sarcophagus" styled cHe'll,

37: Fast Food Self-service Kiosk:

This is a sad reality for most fast foods in this day and age. But on a positive note, it saves us from having to make multiple fast food employee custom figures.

36: gym equipment part 2: School Edition:

Taking things like the jumping vault platform from Japanese schools, gym parachute, tetherball with pole, dodgeball, bean bags (hacky sack), Hula hoops, relay batons, and other PE/gym class equipment.

35: Alcoholic drink bottles:

These are meant to be background props for bar displays. Some are whole, others are breakable. You get a bottle of rum, whisky, vodka, etc. But one is while, the other is breakable.

34: Pet Accessories:

Perches, dog, cat food, fishbowl, fishtanks, snake tanks, bird cages, etc. The sacks of food can be used as weapons, the other items can be used as props. Personally I would add a fishbowl with 4 baby Turtles as a reference.

33: Street foods:

Bags of nuts, pizza slices, pretzels, hot dogs, cheesecake sandwiches, burgers, tacos, burritos, falafel, corn dogs, churros, funnel cakes, don't forget the drinks, and the condiment bottles.

32:  flower arrangements:

Yes, things that.Miley can buy for herself. Things like Valentine bouquets, boxed roses with Sawn-off shotgun. (Reference to the band and T-2), wreaths, single roses... for Spanish Ninjas or college students hitting on junior high girls, or for rich orphans who wear animal themed gimpsuits that love to beat up scientists and poor people. The safe word is Martha.

31: Clown Gear:

Flag guns, creampies, squeeze horn, hand buzzer (use mounting putty), rubber chicken, seltzer bottle. Among other things. For the love of god, dont Google clown creampie. You'll go down a horrible rabbit hole of clown porn. I got it! Banana peels, the infinite handkerchief and squirting flower. (Sounds so perverted, so shut up, Cade!)

30: canteens, flasks, and other portable mediums to transport potables:

If you can drink from it and somewhat portable, that's what I want. Flasks, canteens, kegs, casks, botas, sake gourds, and a nod to our second favorite survivalist: piss filled Snek canteen.

29: Park elements:

Hear me out. Park benches, trash cans lamp posts small rail fences. Stuff that can be used in beat-em ups and by certain Marvel heroes and villains... or could be combined with Tech Deck stuff to make a skate park.

28: Tea sets:

I'm thinking both English and Japanese styled. Including kettles. Traditional amd Electric Kettles. The Japanese tea set is obviously for master Splinter.

27: Tables and Chairs:

No ladders. Leave that for the Wrestling figure makers. I'm not talking about foldable steel chairs. I'm talking about normal chairs.

Wouldn't mind if Waffle House Wendy got a figure... Hear that FTC...

For tables, I'm thinking food court tables. Maybe booths and bar styled tables and stools looking like they came out the 90s. Some could be breakable.

26: Manholes, Barriers, and other Sewer Maintenance equipment:

It may seem as TMNT would be the main target for these, but it's more for Generic Superheroes, since many have to chase criminals into sewers.

SAS could even include the "bust" of a maintenance worker as if they're going down to the sewers. 

25: party Food:

Various levels of  food: from the school level to finer finger foods as charcuterie board items and to more elaborate things as fondues.  

24: munitions grade stuff:

Not mecessarily guns, but boxes of bullets, ammo crates belt for a minigun... and a tripod mounted minigun, grenades, claymores, stuff perfect for black market raids by various heroes or vigilantes.

23: Boardgames:

Chess, ludo, Chinese checkers, etc. I'm mainly thinking Santa fromNaughty or Nice and the kids from FTC. Is omar I missed out on black Santa.

22: Acid/Poison effects:

This was the inspiration... for the application.

But mainly this was the real inspiration.
I'm thinking translucent puddles of "bubbling acid" it could also be some radioactive slime... or something viscous. You could have bubbling, emanating toxic fumes, neutral pools. Even small effects for Xenomorph acid blood.

21: engine blocks, power generator:

Big heavy things to be tossed at enemies.

The idea comes from beat'em-up games and could also be used for chop shop scenes for heroes like Batman or Spider-Man, who fight street level crimes.

Lists are getting tougher. Luckily I'm on the final stretch.

TMNT 35th Anniversary edition

 It apparently played on the 17th and 20th In the US... things like these rarely happen in Puerto Rico...

Well, color me Surprised... If this is True, guess what I'll be doing on Monday evening!?

• Wake up
• Shower
• Brush my teeth
• Eat breakfast
• Get dressed
• Drive to the nearest theater
• Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 
• Return home
• Order Domino's 
• Eat said Pizza
• Ask my old man for a Ninja Turtles figure.

Oh no, my Old Man isn't dead. It's just that our relationship works better with him doing his own thing and not being reminded on the failure that is his genetic dead end son. Meanwhile, I can pretend to act like a functional adult without getting a daily reminder how much of a failure I am, because I'm well aware of how much my life sucks and how awful I am for being against of passing off my accursed genes.

It's a win-win for everyone. 

I get to forget how much my life sucks by using a bit of nostalgia. Fuck! He just texted me.

Literally, to let me know about this movie.

Fuckdammit! I'm now crying. Won't post the text, but a loose translated summary:

Son:

We don't get along, because we butt heads too much. But I know that you never outgrew He-Man and the Turtles. You probably know this already, but they're going to show the original movie we watched when you were a kid. If you didn't, then showings start tomorrow. 

God Bless You.

It fucking pisses me off! Because now I look irrational for holding on to my grudge. But every time we try to reconcile issues arise and sooner or later we're butting heads. It's one step forwards and two steps back. So the best way to win is to not play, but now I sound unhinged.

Pizza Hut has superb evenly slicing skills. That was my $2 personal pizza from Tuesday. 

Update:

March 2026:

Yes, Secret of the Ooze is getting rereleased.

Zack Snyder is coming...

 To theaters. He'll soon begin filming a project he's been trying to make since the mid 00s. That's roughly 20 years. Apparently, it's a passion project. The movie is called The Last Photograph.

The story, according to the producers, is thus: “An ex-DEA operative must return to the mountains of South America in an effort to find his missing niece and nephew, following the brutal murders of their diplomat parents. Enlisting the help of a washed-up junkie war photographer, the only person to have seen the face of the killers, he sets out, determined to find the children and the truth, but soon learns he must also face the ghosts of his past. Their journey into the unknown takes them further and further away from civilization, bringing into question everything they believe, while slowly eroding the distinction between real and surreal.”

Not gonna lie, it sounds REALLY GOOD. But at the same time, this is the TEMU Michael Bay that thinks he's the next Stanley Kubrick... The less competent Hideo Kojima of movies. My biggest fear will be the "Snyderisms" Dark muddy pallette, slow motion abuse, shots framed like a perfume commercial, and an excuse to play this:

And whining about producers getting in the way of his creativity and needing a 4 hour "Snydercut" keep in mind that Snyder uses the main producer as a sheath for the Snydercock. What I just crassly said is his wife is the producer.

I hope this project goes well for him. He's been nearly 10 years relegated to Direct to Streaming... which puts him at the same level as товарищ Сигал, Putin's besto frendo. Something that a certain person cannot say.

On Beat-em' ups and 80s/90s properties.

 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, GI Joe, Karate Kod, now He-Man and the Masters of the Universe have entered the 2D Beat-em' up game. 

Transformers have the 3D Run and gun games like War for Cybertron and Devastation. But there are other properties tbar could work on this genre:

Let's start with the obvious one:

Thundercats:

Decent sized cast with plenty of enemies, especially various generic mutants. There are plenty of enemies for a basic game, additional enemies for DLC and sequels.

Characters like Willa, Hachiman, and thr Snowman as DLC. No, SUGGESTING A BLACK SCREEN LYNX-O MODE, would be a dick move.

Silverhawks:

This one sounds like is perfect for a beat-em'up, but the Mob lacks generic members for it to work as a beat-em up. The game should be mostly a clone of this:

Where the Silverhawks chase down Mob members then once they disable the getaway vehicle, the game turns into a brawler where the Silverhawks have to fight one of the members of the mob.

Tigersharks:

I vaguely remember the show, but it would probably feel like an underwater reskin of Silverhawks.

But it could be made different by perhaps making it a half 2D side-scroller half beat-em'up game.

The first half loosely inspired by

The second half, a beat-em'up... 

The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers:

I Vaguely remember the show. Mostly the theme song.

I know galoob made the toys, but I don't know if Hasbro has the rights.

Disney's Gargoyles:

The Old SEGA Genesis game was good. But there was no love for the rest of the Manhattan clan.

A Beat-em'up! Game with flying elements.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers:

The game would be a standard beat-em'up! starring the Planeteers. Captain Planet is not playable. Period. Captain Planet would be the finishing move for each boss. The caveat is that the more players playing co-op , the less Energy you need to charge to summon Captain Planet.

You're soloing it as Ma-Ti: you'll need 5 Super charges to summon Captain Planet.

Playing with 3 Planeteers? A little bit over 1.5 super bars is all you need.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic:

Hasbro wouldn't have the guts, but it's doable...

Jem and the Holograms:

This was a game that should've come during the Rockband and Guitar Hero Craze.

A MOTU Beat-em' up!? Things that wouldn't happen with Neitlich...

 Tuck Foyguru and all that. Now that I gave some attention to disgruntled ex employees that said Mattel would lose all rights to MOTU over 2 years ago, I can bitch and moan about needing a PS5 to play the latest MOTU game...

But you HAVE a PS5... it's the LAYING DOWN SETO KAIBA LOOKING THING NEXT TO THE PS4 AND WIIU!

I have a PS5!? Holy shit! Oh wait, I played Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, of course I have a PS5!

It's also coming to the Nintendo Switch... you wouldn't have missed out on He-Man...

It's being made by the people making the new 2D Terminator game. The game looks fine. It's no Shredder's revenge but it looks fine.

It's a MOTU game and you're complaining!? No wonder Nutlick had-

Hey, hey hey! Stop it! We don't call Neitlich, Nutlick here. More respect for the petty has-been. We're supposed to celebrate that Mattel got their heads out their asses and actually had an ACTUAL MOTU VIDEOGAME FOR ACTUAL CONSOLES! You know what that means, Cade?

I'LL HAVE THE POWER? I'LL HAVE THE POWER!!

You'll HAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING POWER!! Also I'll have a reason to use the PS5 again!!

Update:

Apparently, the 4 playable characters are:

• He-Man (duh)
• Teela
• Man-at-Arms 
• She-Ra

Bella Ramsay, just shut up!

 This is why you get mocked relentlessly on the Internet. Seriously, stop saying dumb shit that will bring the trolls and stuff. You cannot play Spider-MAN... for obvious reasons.  You got massively shit on for your role as Ellie in The Last of Us; there's no need to bring the ire of the MCU fans or Spider-Man fans towards you.

The heist film with Mr. Touchy Anxiety sounds OK, but, you should get a different actor to work with. Otherwise you two will be seen like a lamer Mewes and Smith or Rogen and Franco.

Today at the house of rants we're Kneeling

 Yes, kneeling, because that fat prick watched Superman 2. No cause of death was mentioned...

As always my condolences to friends and family, but there isn't much I can say about Mr. Stamp. Because I have seen nothing with him other than

Superman 2... Oh hey! He was on The Phantom Menace... He was Stick on Elektra? What the fuck!

Not Now, Mom!, I'm ranting! Haunt me later, please! Sorry, My Mom loves shitty movies and she likes Elektra.

As I was saying, yeah, he WAS General Zod... May Mr. Stamp rest in peace.

World Leaders toy line: A rant:

 The recent acquisition of the Hamberderman, the Covfefe guy, MAGA's favorite President, Mail Order Bride Connoisseur, Donald Trump! I have been thinking: We Need Historical Figures from Worldwide Leaders:

Like say;

• Macron
• Trudeau
• King Charles
• Queen Elizabeth
• Gorbachev 
• Putin
• Kim Jong Il
• Kim Jong Un
• Shinzo Abe
• Fidel Castro
• Hugo Chavez
• Hirohito
• Il Duce
• Stalin
• Churchill
• FDR
• Truman
• JFK
• LBJ
• Saddam
• I don't need to say his name, but you know who I'm talking about.
• Nelson Mandela
• Xing Pi

But let's be honest: I don't give a damn about half that list... let's do the ones *I* want:

• Gorbachev
• Putin
• Kim Jong Il
• Kim Jong Un
• Castro
• JFK
• Saddam
• Obama
• Bill Clinton
• Dubya
• Biden
• du weißt wer... No need to say his name.

Gorbachev is obvious: Red Cyclone ending.

Putin is obvious... if we also got a Comrade Seagal better.

Kim Jong Il is obvious, but I'rr add his chird, so he isn't ronery.

Castro is just to be ironic and have American Capitalist Pigs profiting off his image.

JFK is for a backdoor Marilyn Monroe release with soft goods dress...

Saddam would be just used to hearing most of my life that Castro and Saddam are villains, so... here we are. 

Obama and Biden mainly for the memes

Bill Clinton... Do I EVEN NEED to explain WHY I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A BILL CLINTON ACTION FIGURE!? I already have Mr. Grab'em by the Pussy. I need Mr

Coochiegar smoker to complete the Super Epstein Buddies.

Dubya... well, He would be a great Babysitter for Karen... Who I finally did give her a slight repaint on her hair. Now none of the FTC Figures save Tariffman, have gotten a repaint... (he might get one later.)

There are other political figures that weren't country leaders that I'd be interested in, like Eva Perón, Ilona Staller, Lady Diana, Bernie Sanders, Elon Musk, AOC, Hillary Clinton, among others.

Yes, the unmentionable one would be the biggest punching bag in my action figure collection. You know who I'm talking about, right?

I'm having so much inappropriate fun with the Trump action figure that I want more world figures to be irreverent to.

Random thoughts:

 So, Garou Densetsu: City of Wolves is deader than dead. Probably has to do with the lack of polish and obsession with pleasing the Arabian Prince than making a GREAT game to Rival SF6. Still, they could get some money back via Merchandising. I know they're letting Storm Collectibles do KOF 98 stuff on their normal and Arena lines. 

Maybe they could push for a City of Wolves sub line to rehype the game? I would even buy a Ronaldo just to make fun of him... I've bought much better historical figures to make fun of.  An overrated soccer player wouldn't be that huge. 

What the Actual Fuck!? The MOTU Movie not only got race swaps, but now GENDER SWAPS!?

Well, Roboto is now going to be played by The Joe Schmo Show's Kristen Wiig.

I feel like Mattel is trying to be shitty on purpose... just to piss me off, is what I would've said if the Purple Gimp was still around.

I will still watch it because MOTU, but I strongly believe that Rebel Moon 1 & 2 Snydercuts would be a better experience.

I am disappointed in Hasbro and their Maximum Series Hulk. I called it...

The $60 + shipping, handling and Taxes Maximum Series Hulk... is breaking at the torso. GEEK ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK brought this to my attention and Damn that was fast. I was expecting this to be a 2027 thing... not a, checks notes. Four months after release. I knew I had a bad feeling about this figure, but damn! This worries me because of

Shuma Gorath... sorry Gargantos!

Making the Toy Chest Great Again:

 Trump: The Talking Action figure: The rant. Yes, boys and girls. I have a Donald Trump action figure that talks. My mailman must be a liberal, because the box came beaten up as if Ace Ventura had made the delivery. 

Who is Donald Trump?

Kmart Shopper, Pizza Hut Spokesperson,  Cameo appearances in shows and movies, best friends with the late Jeffrey Epstein... Bill Clinton was friends with Epstein too, but Bill Clinton isn't currently president. Reality show host, allegedly cheats at golf, aided and abetted a dude who defrauded him. Small and deformed dick energy. Enemy of Barbie and He-Man.

He's also the 45th and 47th President of the USA.

Articulation:

He's based on the Talking announcer body, slightly modified for height. So he has standard articulation with the exception of the mod torso articulation to house the batteries and speaker.

3.5

Trump: I talked to the President of Puerto Rico. That guy is a fucking Moron.
Miguel: Sir, do you know that Puerto Rico is an unincorporated US Territory?
Trump: That doesn't change the fact that your president is a Retard!
Miguel: I guess you're right, being the President of the United States and its unincorporated territories, like The US Virgin Islands, Guam, and Puerto Rico.
Trump: I knew you would see things my way!

Paint and sculpt:

They made him ORANGE! THEY ACTUALLY MADE HIM ORANGE!! That means I can't get white hands to hold stuff or a cellphone. Sad.

Let's be honest: Trump hasn't been this slim since the 20th century. He should've been made with the fat body. The sculpt is a flattering, yet not super accurate image of Trump. Fun thing: his neck doesn't match his face. Accidentally accurate to the real deal.

4.5

Trump: Hey Liberals! Ha! Goteem!

Accessories:

Here Trump shines bright like a diamond. He has an Alternate head! This doesn't happen with FTC figures. He has more hands than a standard figure, but they're molded in Trump Orange.

He has the podium (the main reason I got this figure), and a Mic.

5.0

Trump: Look at me, I'm Nefty!
I'm crying like a pussy because my Mom is dead! Sad!

Overall:

Donald TACO Trump gets a 4.33 as his final score. He Bigly passed, something that that Nasty Woman Kamela can't say she did because Trump has an action figure and she doesn't.

Oh yeah, the talking feature:

Weak speaker means muffled low volume voice. More like mumbling Trump figure than talking.

The 9 phrases are very unTrumplike. Talking about unity, working together, not being discriminatory... He almost sounds presidential. But regardless of what he says, the fact that he sounds so muffled and weak, I have to dock half a point. His TRUE FINAL SCORE IS 3.83 meaning he's OK, but not great.

MAGA sees Trump Dancing.

Liberals see Donald Trump Jerking off ghosts.

Will update later with more pics.

Trump:"I'm prepared to face the consequences of my betrayal. You're a man!?"

April VO: "We have evidence of you being pals with the Shredder."
Trump VO: "Shredder, I don't even know the guy!"
April VO: "We have pictures!"
Trump VO: "Nuh uh! That Handsome, well-endowed man Next to Shredder and General Bison, who I don't know at all! Is wearing a MASK! I don't wear masks!
April VO: No one talked about your penis, sir.
Trump VO: My Penis is YUUUUUUUUUUUUGE AND NORMAL!

April: Mr. President don't flash me, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!
PENIS; Penis noises
Trump: I told you, it was YUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!
PENIS: Thanks April, but the Turtles are in another sewer...

Hogan: Donald, brother! I'm the ghost of spray tans past, brother! Take that dirty diaper off your head, brother! It makes tou look like a fucking retard, brother!
Trump: I will put tariffs on your 22 and a third inch pythons if you don't give me your spray tanner!

A.Orange: "HEY DONALD! DONALD! HEY! HEY DONALD! HEY! HEY DONALD! DONALD! HEY! HEY DONALD!"
Hogan: "Oh great! It's the Annoying Orange."
Trump: "I'm NOT Annoying!"
Hogan: "Not you! The fruit!"
Trump: "I don't want gays here! Get that motherfucker out of here! And the Ni-"
Hogan: "Don't finish that, brother! It ended my career!"
Trump: "Nintendos? I don't want Nintendos so I will Tariff Mario Land!"
A.Orange: So this is what others feel when I annoy them Hehehehehe! HEY HOGAN! HEY! HOGAN! HOGAN! BROTHER!

He-Man: It's swell, it's Mattel!
Trump: owie!

Update:

The Trump neck peg is the same as the fat body, but Trump's head is too small for the fat body. 

Also, the Child hands work on him.

Trump: What the Hell!?
Nefty VO: I repainted your face to make you more accurate, Mr. President.

I ended up using a color closer to his neck to sloppily paint flesh colored to recreate the badly applied spray tan look that he has at times. The pic ai used for reference is located on the Cyberspace version of the Encyclopaedia Britannica 

This douche lives rent free in my head.

It came from the Toy Chest: Donald Trump's penis lookalike

 

According to Stormy Daniel's, Donald Trump's One-Eyed Monster resembles a Mushroom Retainer... commonly known as Toad. Since I made fun of Figures Toy Company's latest talking figures, I decided to review his penis as an apology.

So, Jakks Pacific, yes, that Jakks Pacific, the one that made Smackdown games with THQ, and were also involved with...

They do Nintendo Figurines. I believe I own a Metroid. Now I own a yellow Toad. One that will be painted gold so it can be approved by the 47th President of the US of A. 

But the gold will be post-review. 

Articulation:

The Toad has Articulation. It's not a lot... a cut on the shoulders and pseudo balljoint head.

4.0

There's so much articulation a tiny
Toad can have...

Painted and sculpt:

The Toad is mostly white and Caucasian skintone with brown shoes, yellow vest and Shroomspots. The sculpt is game accurate. Sadly he isn't flipping people off like the NES Sprite.

4.0

Accessories:

N/A

Overall:

Trump's penis gets a 4.0 as his final score. That's YUUUUUUUUUUUUGE! The score... not his penis. According to Stormy Daniels, Trump has a below average penis. It's not micro, but it's smaller than normal. Hence the Toad reference...

Kaylee: Did you just pull your own finger?
Trump: I can pull my finger. I pull the best fingers. My fingers are YUUUUUUUUUUGE!
Karen: I hope that's pulling your finger and not your Epsteinian plans with us.
Trump: You're under 12, you're safe.
Kaylee: Karen, Call Mr. Nick. 

TACO is coming out the... Toy Chest... soon! Yes, that's the most offensive pic I could do with him.

Thinking of Forgotten Mario Villains:

 Super Mario and its spin-offs have multiple villains, meanwhile main Mario games be like:

Oh noes! Bowser has taken Peach! Call Mario!

The first exception being Super Mario Bros. 2, aka Super Mario USA, the reskinned Doki Doli Panic. Super Mario Land has Daisy as the victim, kidnapped by the Alien Invader Tatanga. Super Mario Land 2: The Six Golden Coins, has Mario losing his castle to Wario. Tatanga returns as a level boss.

Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3: Has Wario hunting down a missing Peach Statue in order to get a reward. There he fights Captain Syrup and her Pirates.

So, Nintendo has a treasure trove of Non-Bowser villains and I wish they'd use them. 

They literally have a Child Friendly Freddy Krueger and his latest appearance was a Cameo in Link's Awakening.

Tatanga screams MARIO KART!! Yet we get a stupid cow!

Seriously, Nintendo, what the fuck!?

But here's the thing: Mamu(Wart) could easily come back. In fact a game where MAMU and KOOPA team up to defeat Mario and friends is the "perfect story".

Something, something, Bowser finds a way to communicate with the Evil Mamu of Subcon. This mcguffin that allows the communication between worlds, allows Mamu to create obstacles from the dreamworld into the real world. So, Mario and pals need to juggle between the waking and sleeping worlds to beat Bowser, Wart, and their teams. 

Sounds a bit Link Between Worlds...

Actually the inspiration was a different game.

At least for single player mode. On this 2D side scroller, You get up to a point where you can sleep in the waking world and enter subcon to clear obstacles in your way on the waking world and vice-versa.

In Multi-player mode, the teams can divide the tasks between raiding subcon and the waking world. But in order for everyone to reach the goal, both teams would have to swap worlds in order to succeed and both teams reach the waking world goal.

The Waking world would operate like a hybrid between SMW and NSMB. Subcon would be a NSMB/SMBUSA hybrid.

This idea is kinda canonical with the subspace mechanic from SMBUSA.

With FTC making a Trump, I have a terrible idea

 MAGA Men vs The Liberals: A series of Celebrities part of a Super team of Agents defending MAGA Across the globe. Basically crossing James Bond with Celebrities that support Donald Trump.

Dean Cain: codename: Super ICE

Using the Fat body with new long pant legs. Blue t-shirt, blue pants with reddish brown shoes. 

Accessories:

Various hands

Handgun

ICE Badge

Kevin Sorbo: codename: Heracles

Wearing a yellow button up shirt, brown pants and boots.

Accessories 

Various hands

Police Baton

Billy Ray Cyrus: codename: Achy Breaky Kid

Sporting the suit body without a tie in brown blazer and pants and black shirt. His pants have new lower legs with cowboy boots.

Accessories:

Cowboy hat

Soft goods duster

Dual Revolvers

Various hands

Rob Schneider: codename: copymaker

Wearing the standard T-shirt body in Grey with blue jeans.

Accessories:

Various hands 

Shotgun

Kristi Swanson: codename: Slaaay

the Only female on the team so far

Using the female body with white Referee shoes:

Purple crop top, green tights.

Accessories:

Various hands

Pair of knives

Steven Seagal: codename: Tovarich

Sent by Putin as a Russian-American liaison:

Using the Fat body with new long sleeved arms:

Accessories:

Alternate clean shaven head

Various Hands:

Extra hands because Seagal is the Aikido Master.

But the MAGA Men need enemies: 

The Liberals: A group of Secret Agents who promote Liberal values across the globe.

Miley Cyrus: codename: Dual worlds

Female body: with Amber boots red shirt with black sleeves, blue jeans and brown boots

Accessories:

Alternate head with Blonde Hannah styled hair.

Hands

Dual revolvers

LeBron James: codename GOAT

Wearing the suit body and blazer in purple with a yellow shirt and purple tie.

Accessories:

Cartoon ball bombs in orange

Various Hands

Matt Damon: codename: MATT DAMON!

T-shirt body in Grey with black blazer, black pants and shoes

Accessories:

Various hands

Handgun

Alternate MATT DAMON! head 

Alec Baldwin: codename: Fake Trump 

Using the same body and same colors as Trump.

Accessories:

Alternate Trump disguise in cartoony orange facepaint and bad wig.

Trump hands.

George Clooney: codename: Fledermaus

Wearing a blue suit with a Grey shirt and yellow tie.

Accessories:

Multiple hands:

Boomerangs

Oprah: codename: Oprah:

Using a modified fat body to have Oprah in a pantsuit.

Accessories:

Various hands

Handgun

Alternate Whoopi Goldberg head.

Now for rhe leader of the Liberals:

Bill Clinton: 

It HAD to be Bill Clinton. He's the Mastermind behind everything. He's had people commit suicide throughout the ages. Also he's on Epstein's list. He's the Ultimate Anti-MAGA villain.

Brand new shirtless torso and wearing only a speedo. New bare feet.

Accessories:

Alternate Smoking Cigar head

Various hands

Blue dress from female announcer.

As you can see, this is a parodic take on celeb culture wars. Oprah, I'd need two of. One to have a Whoopi to use on my TMNT display, and Oprah for the 9000+ penises joke. 

Of course I'd be getting Seagal. Dean Cain may be a skip... damn, that's a low blow picking Rob Schneider over Dean Cain. 

The warring Cyruses I'd get for reasons...

Bron I can skip. But I NEED Alec Baldwin and MATT DAMON!! for obvious reasons. Yes, it's a Team America Reference. Clooney, I only want him so Mr. Cade can beat him up for Batman and Robin.

But the pièce de résistance is none other than Bill Clinton. Of course , I would have to get an extra announcer body to display a normal version of him, but if his body is a speedo underneath, I can have President Horndog! But let's be honest. I'm so keeping Bill Clinton in the blue dress. It's just so hilariously evil.

This list is not meant to be taken seriously... even though I'd probably buy most of this line... yes, I'd start with the Cyruses... those who visit the fanfic corner know why.

Political figures: a rant

 I recently ranted  about Donald Trump the Action figure. I want to expand on this: 

I would Like for FTC to expand on this line, but not necessarily with talking figures. I'd like to see those 6.5"-7.0" figures. I specify thsi scale because FTC has MEGO styled dolls of various presidents and other politicians. I mean from George Washington all the way to Joe Biden and even Senator Bernie Sanders.

That's important because it means that not just Presidents are getting made.

Presidents I'd like to see:

Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden. I didn't mention Trump because he already has a figure. So hakuna your tatas, MAGA crew. 

Other Political figures I'd like to see:

Rafael Eduardo Cruz, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Sarah Palin, Mike Pence, Bob Dole, Ross Perot, Mitt Romney, Kamala Harris, Dick Cheney, and Vermin Supreme.

You know you want him...
As an action figure, not as President.

Even though it would be a Mind-blowing choice,Neither Kennedy nor Lincoln will be on this list.

Personally, I'm sticking to 1980s up to now, because Picking 1700s and 1800s candidates would require new sculpts also, I'm avoiding JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Ford, and Carter. JFK for obvious reasons. LBJ would be cool of we had a 7 inch Naked Snake. Jimmy Carter would disapprove getting an action figure... Ford, he was there during a shitty time and is forgettable...