Feb 16, 2013

Things I've learned while watching 3 seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

The third season ended and Twilight became an Alicorn...

 Instead of bitching and moaning on why Alicorn Twilight is...

I'll make a list of things I've learned from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

-Dragons are Fax Machines: Seen with Spike almost every freaking Episode... His dragonfire is used to deliver Letters to the Pony Deity: Princess Celestia.
-Applejack: Element of Honesty... Yeah right! For being the Honest One, she lies far too much. (Last Round up comes to mind)
-Rarity: Element of Greed: She's a gold digger (wanting to marry Prince Blueblood, trying to steal the Red Dragon's treasure, Seducign Spike to get his Heart shape gem, paying Spike to petsit Opalessence with a minuscule sliver of a gem when she's known to have tons of gems and being a Gem Radar.)
-Rarity: Abuses Spikey-Wikey: She totally knows how Spike feels about her and uses him as a servant... Poor Spike, Friend-zoned!
-Screw Physics, I'm Pinkie Pie: The Earth Pony with Teleportation powers, Super Speed, The capability of being in two places at once (before using the Mirror Pond), bending the laws of physics for comedic effect, making her face look like an abomination, etc.
-eeyup! eenope! He actually speaks a lot more but people only care about eeyups and eenopes!: Big Macintosh, Applejack's brother... suffering from the Older Brother devolution syndrome.
-Ponies are Racists: (Especially the Apple Family) As seen in Over the Barrel, Bridle Gossip and their song Racist Barn (OK I'm kidding about the last one... Barns can't be Racist.)
-Sister rebels against you, Lunar Banishment. Chaos Deity/Dictator, petrified in Garden: Celestia's punishments towards her enemies make no sense at all! A rebellious sister sent to the moon for 1000 years. A far more dangerous foe, Discord, is kept on a garden where the slightest bit of chaos can release him from his stone prison... What the Buck?
-I really don't know what went wrong: Hasbro's reaction to Derpy was overkill!
-Pegasi have no parents: Aside Rainbow Dash on Season 3, we have not seen the parents of any of the main Pegasi (Well now just Fluttershy and the Chicken)
-Applejack is the Celestiadarn Batmare! I mean think about it! Batman's Parents ARE DEAAAAAAAAD!! Where are Applejack's Parents? They're DEAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! Both have a successful business, both are known to wear a costume and be heroes... (AJ was one of the Mare Do Well)
-The Doctor has been Ponified! Come on! That Pony could be David Tennant's twin brother! If he was a Pony... But he's not the only Doctor Ponified...
They're the Doctor!
-Fluttershy is a coward until IT gets real: She's afraid of her own shadow, so meek that her pet bunny bosses her around, but when something NEEDS to be done and all hope is lost: Fluttershy turns into Flutterbadass!
-Twilight Sparkle needs to take some chill pills: Seriously, Rarity might be a drama queen, but Twilight really blows things out of proportion!
-Twilight had no friends before coming to Ponyville, except those that were retroactively added: Like her big Brother best friend forever, or her foalsitter, but what about Lyra who lived in Canterlot and moved to Ponyville with Bon-Bon?
-when you're truly in love with someone, you don't notice that she was replaced by an evil witch: Shining Armor is an idiot
-When in trouble, throw your wife off the Balcony: It works for Shining Armor!
-Princess Luna is far more dangerous than we think: Her Dreamwalking power is something very dangerous. It allows Luna to enter the subconsciousness of her subjects... Speaking of which, If she can enter their subconsciousness of her subjects, why was she angry about them being asleep 1000 years ago?
-The Cutie Mark Crusaders are annoying: Nothing more to say here... Also Germany almost had a McD Chicken Sandwich named after Scootaloo!
-Granny Smith is SUPER OLD! She was alive when Ponyville was new... In fact the Apple Family WERE Ponyville's founding fathers!
-Big Mac is a brony: seriously...

-Pipsqueak the Pirate was never seen again: Cause he angered the Great Sun Deity, Celestia... (He might end up being the Season 4 Villain) He had a cameo on Putting your Hoof down. CRAP!
-King Sombra loves stairs (also he's a crappy villain): Stairs and making Dark Crystals grow from the ground is all he does! Nightmare Moon, discord, Trixie OR Gilda did a lot more than him!
-changelings feed of love, but LOVE beats changelings: 
-I'm a Princess; are you a princess too? Everyone on Equestria CAN become a Princess... Look at Twilight!

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