He-Man's Attire and the surrounding controversies...

We know that a Masters of the Universe movie is "in the works". We have seen how Mattel has tried to take the barbarian out of him. Also, y'all know of my aversion to pants on He-Man...
Well, here's my long winded rant on WHY He-Man's attire should stick as CLOSE AS POSSIBLE to his Original Look:

I can accept removing the furry loincloths and boots to all the other Human characters. (MAA can work without the loincloth and furry boots, so can Tri-Klops, Mekaneck, Fisto, Clamp Champ, etc.) but He-Man NEEDS to have those items. The Power of Grayskull is supposed to be ancient, raw power from a Distant past. Having He-Man's basic appearance reflecting the Ancient look of Grayskull's era CEMENTS the notion that he is "Grayskull reborn" in the Modern Eternia. He is so powerful that he runs around in a Loincloth and a chest harness to hold his secondary weapon (sword or ax) on his back while he's in battle; when his allies run around armored up. That way when he resorts to his Battle Armored Look, you know that things are getting real intense. If you have a heavily armored He-Man from the beginning, the upgrade to Battle Armor becomes Useless.

Some people may argue that He-Man is not a Barbarian character but thanks to Filmation he's a Paladin who looks like a Barbarian. This new approach that Mattel is doing is to make sure that He truly looks like the Paladin he's become...

The other is that some "Focus Groups" have "complained" about He-Man's nakedness... something something "fear of teh gayz" from Dumbass Parents groups, or something...

I find that incredibly stupid because they whine about cartoon characters that are wearing barbarian-like clothes and can grapple in a few scenes. (As seen in the pic on the right) but they have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE WHATSOEVER with the same kind of moves with occasional Tea Bagging and LITERAL BROWN NOSING that happens on Pro-Wrestling... Sweaty and oiled up muscular scantily clad men rolling around and rubbing their bodies on a giant bed-looking stage is totally A-OK and has no homoerotic elements to it... But He-Man? that's totally gay!

Don't tell me that Wrestling doesn't have any erotic elements at all, because no matter how much the WWE tries to sanitize their history, Bra and Panties Matches existed.


That excuse is pure crap! It almost feels like Mattel is ashamed of He-Man's Barbaric Origins (stylewise) which is what makes him DIFFERENT from most superheroes. The moment He-Man loses his Barbarian look, that's the moment he becomes Generic...
Remember the Ponytail and Skinny Jeans look of the (late 80s to early) 90s? How well did that work?

But that's not He-Man's most controversial element:✠
The Cross Insignia on his Armor. It's a cross pattée in red. This symbol is controversial because a few controversial groups have used similar symbols. (The Nazis with the Iron Cross and the Crusaders)
To be fair, this symbol has been used as a symbol of courage, bravery, power... It makes sense for the

Most Powerful Man in the Universe to have a symbol of courage and bravery on his chest...
Now, to be fair, there have been many uses of the cross as a symbol. St. George, Christ, etc.
In their haste to stop backlash from certain groups (and mid production) Mattel changed the Cross insignia on He-Man to the Deformed H or Asterisk of King Grayskull for the 2002 Toyline and cartoon. Then again seems that some issues might have arisen since the 80s because they used a Stylized H for the Thunderpunch and Flying fist variants. On the DC Comics, they abandoned the Cross for the H (now a Symbol of Zoar, which reeks of the same bull crap about S= Hope)

Personally, I don't think they should abandon the Cross. It's the Classic Symbol. But if they should, they should use a modified version of the King Grayskull Asterisk. As you can see on the crude drawing I made, I used a Stylized Version of King Grayskull's asterisk and added two red gems to complete the Traditional Cross look WITHOUT IT BEING The Traditional Cross. That way Traditional fans KINDA Win since from afar, the design will look similar to the Traditional He-Cross, but it's not.

Sadly, this rant will be in vain since the powers that Be DO NOT UNDERSTAND HE-MAN...

Odds and ends: March 30th 2015

There's a Stark in the TARDIS... and I like it!
Though I don't want to tell her that Ned's Death is a fixed point in time because Sean Bean...

Sadly, I guess this will be a guest appearance, but that crossover is screaming fanfic... GET TO IT HORRIBLE FANFIC WRITERS!! Give me a Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, and My Little Pony fanfiction crossover!



Ronda Rousey's Power level is 9001!! Or at least her Vegeta Shirt was cool!

I'd make a Respect my Authoritah! joke, but HHH and Steph McMahon are already a joke when doing the Authoritah bit.

Now let's talk Wrestlemania:
Lesnar vs Reigns:
Roman Reigns wasn't ready to be champ. He's OK, but OK is not enough. Brock Lesnar is an Awful champ. He's a good fighter, but due to his condition and Part Time Wrestler status, giving him the belt would have been cheap (as it has been this last year). Vinnie Mac and the writing staff had very little choice than use Seth Rollins and the Money in the Bank angle.

Cheap victory? Yeah... But now Rollins has a HUGE target on his back... Robbing BOTH LESNAR and REIGNS from the belt means that he has TWO UNSTOPPABLE JUGGERNAUTS who want his head... or we would if the writers do a decent story after WM...

Taker vs Wyatt:
I don't know... This match was a year too late and the result was predictable. After losing to Part-Time Lesnar, the WWE thought that beating Bray Wyatt would help Taker recover some badass points... To me it didn't. Basically The Original product beat up the Dollar Store Knockoff. Not to mention how this undermines Wyatt as the new face of fear in the WWE.

Rusev vs Dollar Store Hogan... I mean Cena:
Boring outcome that was expected because of Patriotism... Give them the song, Spike!


Diva's match:
Don't care for it, but Bella Twins lost. Meh.

Walking Water Fountain vs Dollar Store Crow:
Cripple H won because it's the obvious outcome. WWE had to completely bury the WCW by having The Authoritah's own HHH beat the "face of WCW". Bringing Sting for THAT was rather lame... But in all fairness, it was a good match!

The rest of the WM? I don't give a damn! The few matches I saw cemented why I stopped caring about the WWE aside the occasional WTF news event that happens.

2017 will be Jackman's last SNIKT! Because once Wolverine 3 comes, he's done with Logan... which to be fair It's been 17 years of Jackman as Wolverine...

Wonder if Deadpool will be where the Replacement Wolvie will show up...

A Batman Beyond movie NEEDS to happen.

Think about it. It's a kinda stand-alone movie kind of thing that doesn't NEED the DCCU and the horrible mess that BvS is likely to be... Though they COULD Tie it in by Alternate future or so. (Personally, I'd have BB be an Alternate Future to the Burton/Schumacher universe.)

This is also a way for WB/DC to cash in on the Crazy Sci-Fi cash from the people who like Star Wars or Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy... Also It's Batman!

 Seriously this show is Batman/Spider-Man/Ironman rolled into one... With Futuristic vehicles BTTF2 style! If this doesn't scream blockbuster, then I don't know what would.

My choice for Terry McGinnis is Leo Howard. You may have seen him playing Young Jason Momoa on Conan: the failed Reboot, or a young Ray Park on G.I. Joe: We now use Ironman suits because screw the source material, Baroness is Cobra Commander's sister!

The kid has a Background in Martial Arts, which can help with the action scenes as the new Batman...

Of course, the difficult part would be casting Old Bruce Wayne, but let's face it: There is only ONE CORRECT ANSWER:

Michael Keaton IS the PERFECT Old Bruce Wayne. Out of all the Batmen (post-Adam West, Pre-Bale) he's the only one who knew that Bruce Wayne is one messed up dude.

He'd be PERFECT to play Old Bruce.

I'd love to have Chris O'Donnell on the sequel (inspired by Return of the Joker.) and Alicia Silverstone as Commissioner Wilson (she wasn't Babs Gordon on that horrible movie)

It works to give some closure to the Pre DCCU Bat movies... kinda like Superman returns, but less sucky. I could have suggested for WB to do a Static movie, buuut DC is afraid of trying stuff outside The Big Two, so that's also a reason for having Batman Beyond. It allows DC to experiment WITHOUT breaking out of the Big Two.

But what do I know?

Ryan Reynolds is Deadpool...

We knew that Fox, well Fox'd up Deadpool on that Horrible Wolverine movie...
I think they're kinda ignoring that one for the DP Movie. Seems that it'll be an origin story because, Screw you horrible Wolverine Movie!
Now this is how Van Wilder revealed his Deadpool suit...

If that doesn't say: Ryan Reynolds is best suited to BE Deadpool is because he should have made an Old Spice ad right now...
Ooh! He should totally do an old spice spoof while killing a bunch of people.
We'll have to wait a while for this... DAMN!

Yikes! Hover Robots are $35...

Matty announced the April Sale with Angella coming.

And We found out the Price Tag for the Hover Robots... $35 for a three pack... Let's leave that sink in: Thirty Five Dollars for a Trio of Three Inch Trashcans WITH LESS Articulation than Orko... (A $5 figure in 2010, who is also roughly 3 inches tall.)  It's time to visit an old Friend of Mine... MATH!

The resemblance is
Uncanny!

So, let's see: Orko, a 100% Newly tooled Item WITH A FLOATING STAND bumped up the cost of Prince Adam for $5. A Normal MOTUC Figure at that time was $20. So, we can say that Orko's cost was 1/4 of Adam's.

A normal Out of Sub figure is $28, so 1/4 of that is $7. Seeing as we are getting 3 of the EXACT SAME FIGURE, we could assume that the cost SHOULD BE $21. Not only that but according to Pixel Dan's review of the little guys he says that the stands are smaller than previous stands and that the figures feel very light since they are made of Hollow Plastic.
Orko, UNO, Kowl, and Loo-Kee do NOT feel Hollow. They are ROUGHLY the same size (though UNO is closer to Madame Razz Size than Orko) as the Hover Robots, yet they feel solid and have some weight to them. Let's see what we can blame for the Additional $14 dollars... The Extra Hands that are on the same molds for these figures that use LESS PLASTIC than the NORMAL FIGURES. I guess the Lenticular stickers and the Damage Decals will be blamed. (Don't mention that Sy-Klone got a more elaborate Lenticular sticker and cost the same as a Standard figure).

TO ME it just doesn't add up! Mattel will muddy up the issue with Fancy Mathematics to justify that Ridiculous $35 pricetag. ($11.67 PER Robot? Something feels off here.)  My Desire for 3 sets of these has been reduced to BARELY Buying THE ONE Set. I'm sorry, but when Multibot who is roughly $9 more than the Hover Robots and you practically get TWO Lizardman sized figures with 100% new tooling, you can't truly justify the Hover Robots' cost.

It Came from the Toy Chest: This Tara is strong...

And has nothing to do with that other Strong Tara... The one with the voices... I'm talking about Huntara... The fan choice winner that was supposed to show up in 2014, but didn't... because Neitlich... I'll still use him as a Scapegoat until 2017.

So, Huntara... She's kind of a Mercenary that only works for the forces of good, but was tricked by Hordak into fighting She-Ra... and she looks like a purple Grace Jones... Also, Huntara smokes 2.5 cigarette cartons a day... because her bio wants to make sure that we learn that...

 Look at that pic and tell me that Huntara in no way took any cues from her... Remember that Conan the Destroyer was released in 1984.

So, let's take a look at Huntara, shall we?

Articulation:
There is nothing to write home about here. Standard Recent Female figure articulation: translation, no boot cut and no ankle rock. The only thing worth noting is that her epaulettes/Sode (Samurai Shoulder pads) block her Arm Articulation A LOT. Anything higher than a Cornholio pose is impossible.
3.5

Paint and sculpt:
She got an unnecessary New Torso when the BGTeela Torso + New Armor would have worked just fine. She got new pieces for biceps, forearms and boots tat make her accurate to her filmation look. Tiny nitpick, the Tribal tattoos on her head seem to be asymmetrical.
4.0

Accessories:

She's burning her hair
and ass...

Here's where Mattel dropped the ball. The Not-Lightsabers could have easily been made where the energy beam was removable and we could store them on her back WITHOUT having two laser blades ready to slice her in half. I can't believe that Hasbro was able to pull this off on a retail line for kids but Mattel somehow is unable to on an ADULT COLLECTOR LINE. We also have the Ax for Oo-Larr that somehow ended up in Huntara's package. Last but not least Mattel did not make a Second head for Huntara with her Ninja-esque mask.
3.5
Overall:
Huntara gets a 3.67 which is decent, but I'm a bit underwhelmed by her.

It Came From the Toy Chest: Me He-Man you Jane!

Oo-Larr is finally here. With a horrible mini comic, but we aren't touching that here.

So, he's He-Man with LESS CLOTHES ON... Based on the Pre-Filmation Mini Comics, where He-Man was a barbarian... Since Classics is an Anthology line (with a horribly butchered Story that tries to bring conflicting continuities together) we have the Pre-Filmation He-Man...

Articulation:
This figure is Naked on a Standard buck, so the Articulation is the basic Articulation minus the boot cut due to the naked legs. There's really not much to write about in here... 4.0

One of these He-Men is not like the others...

Paint and Sculpt:
The sculpt here is fairly simplistic... Naked body and a different loincloth. Same thing with the paints. The little paint used is applied nicely.
4.5

Accessories:
He has a Spear that looks a bit off, a sword, and a Vintage Toy Inspired head for He-Man. I put it on my Normal He-Man and BA He-Man... It looked OK, but I went back to the Standard Classics heads on them... I thought I would've liked the head, but I didn't... If I had a second Vintage head, I'd totally paint the hair brown and put it on my Poor-Dar (Poor Substitute for Wun-Dar) to make him look LESS LIKE A HE-MAN Repaint and more like an unique character.
4.5 bumped up to 5.0 once you add Huntara's Ax.

Overall:
Oo-Larr gets a 4.33 without counting Huntara's Ax. If we count it he gets a 4.5 as his score. I KINDA Like him, but he's a bit underwhelming... The Craptacular Neitlichverse comic didn't help him much. I still stand with the idea that Despara would have been the better exclusive.
But, in the name of fairness, if you're into the Pre-Filmation Era, having him posed with DB Skeletor's body and Toothless Skeletor's armor makes for a freaking cool display of He-Man vs Skeletor.

Buuuuuuuut! If you can kinda follow the Neitlichverse without puking your guts out... Or if your fan continuity has plenty or protectors of the sword, but only Adam is He-Man and have some free stands... you could do this:

 Then you add two of the past warriors (or Vanilla He-Man and She-Ra) to have your very own hall of Heroes of Grayskull. (Will show a completed pic when Veena arrives)

Or if you don't care at all for Jungle He-Man, you can pop the spare Adam head on him and have BGTeela with him for Beach Day Adam and Teela! Or Honeymo~on! variants...

Apparently A Superman can show up on Flash...

There's a rumor going on that A Superman (not Grumpy Supes from the current Cinematic Universe) will appear on The Flash... No, it's not Brandon Routh playing the Atom... I'm talking about someone playing Kal-El, son of Jor-El...

Sadly I couldn't find a Smallville intro with Dawson's Creek theme so I could make a joke about Smallville being Supes' Creek.
♪I don't wanna wait!
For Tom Welling to
wear the cape!

Something something
ten seasons for this ****!♫

Flash runs so fast that he ends up in other Shows... IN THE PAST? Maybe he should have run faster to stop this:

Boom! How Traumatized would Barry be to see his dad die and he becomes Dawson?


This would be kinda nice... even if it's Barry on the Smallville Universe. Having One of the BIG TWO on the show would be a nice way to show WB/DC that the Big Two CAN AND SHOULD BE ON TV as well.

If we're doing Batman, I nominate Casey Affleck as Bruce Wayne. Seriously, Oliver is playing Batman knockoff a bit too seriously... All we need is The Clown Prince of Crime to become a villain in Starling.

The 200X Sub...

I got this E-mail today:

Nefty, we've got fantastic news...

The final numbers are in and we reached our subscription goal for Club 200X™! That means you've given us the privilege of producing all six characters and the Heads of Eternia™ Accessory Pack.
We say "privilege" because as fantastic as the designs are, they'd just be prototypes on a shelf without your support. There's no one like a Masters of the Universe® fan and we're honored to be on this journey with you.
What's next? This confirmation email lets you know that your subscription is all set. We'll email you again in June so you'll have plenty of time to contact Customer Service with any updates to your address or credit card. Then in July the magic begins.
In the meantime, if you need assistance with anything just give us a call at 1-877-GO-MATTY or email MattyCollector.CS@digitalriver.com. We can't wait to get going on production and are grateful to everyone who supported this subscription!

 

Apparently the sub didn't make 100% and only reached 99.9% (which seems a bit too convenient)
But today is not a day to have tinfoil hats and prattle on about conspiracies like...

Oh damn! Who let Giorgio Tsoukalos in?

I AM GETTING A 200X SUB BECAUSE IT'S HAPPENING!

YES!!!

Game of Spoilers: The show will outpace the books.

Kinda obvious given the Slowpoke Rodríguez pace that Georgie RR Writing Real Slow Martin has taken to finish the damned books... (I feel bad for the fans who picked up their first ASOIAF book back in the 90s.) The Game of Thrones showrunners have already stated that they know how it'll end and that they'll REACH the intended ending in seven seasons and that they will NOT go in a hiatus.

Then again, the show has started to veer off the books' storyline. We better get ready for more of that.
I'm not gonna go on another FINISH THE DAMN BOOKS ALREADY, since Georgie RR Slowpoke Martin has stopped going to cons in order to finish the sixth book.

Now Season 5 is coming... This kinda bugs me since I'm going to be catching up to the books and possibly go into a different direction, but on the other hand; I can't wait for GRRM to finish so I can watch the show without ruining the literary experience...

Talk about First World Problems!!


In any case A Dream of Spring shall remain a dream.

Donnie pulls a Duke and The TAINT strikes back!

Donnie is VERY LIKELY to return as Cyber Donnie. There was a Cybernetic Turtle Organism in the 90s... back when the Turtles Hung out with a Hulk Knock-off with a fin on his head.

I guess this is where IDW is heading, minus the Hulk Knock-off with a fin on his head. A Recent Article by BleedingCool shows a page of an upcoming TMNT comic in which Donatello is in a coma... Cue the GI Joe clip.

This was the expected outcome of the whole Death of Donnie thing, but does this mean that we're bringing some of the weirder stuff of Past TMNT to life in this new series?

Are we going to see The Night Watcher or will Raph go Full Shredder? Or even worse...
Yes, Raphael WAS THE SHREDDER FOR A WHILE!

Speaking of WTF worthy TMNT news...
Jonathan Liebesman is no longer the Director of TAINT 2: Secret of the Ooze? Wait... What's this?
The movie will be produced by Paramount and Nickelodeon? No Michael Bay... No Michael Bay!?
The new team will be filming scenes in New York and the movie has a 2016 release date.
The director for this sequel is the same guy who directed Robotic E.T. I think that being BAY FREE is a good thing... Now if we could get the TMNT to look like the TMNT, would be a HUGE Improvement.

Space is no longer the final frontier...

The... Final... Frontier... Seems to be... Equestria!
It appears that Captain Kirk himself... no not Chris Pine, the REAL KIRK...

Yes, boys and girls, The Shatman himself is a Brony!!!

Insert an I'm... on a... horse! joke here

There's nothing I can say here other than a joke about Captain Kirk trying to show the Prime Directive to Unicorns, Earth Ponies, Alicorns and Pegasusususus!

Well, there is something I can say. It's great to see a bunch of adult celebrities enjoying the show and proudly admitting it BECAUSE it IS a good show that ALL can enjoy, even if the intended target audience IS young girls.

I kinda expected Takei to be the OG Star Trek Brony... It's kinda weird having TJ Hooker as a Brony.

Leonardo leads, Donatello is turtle Soup... WTF, Jack?

IDW comics killed Donatello in the latest TMNT comic... Their Method for Killing Donnie?

I know that IDW was doing a great job in badassifying Rocksteady and Bebop, but KILLING DONATELLO is not how you make them badass...

Because, let's face it... Comic Book deaths nowadays don't mean what they used to mean... I'll be honest, It sucks that they killed Donnie... Why not Raph, the Ultrabadass? THAT would have made more badasses out of Rocksteady and Bebop than having them kill the geeky turtle.

But, we can sense Donnie coming back... My guess?
as a Cybernetic Turtle Organism... Think about it...




Now who will DO Machines?

Not me! But Donnie becoming Half Machine or 95% Machine would help him to do machines... heh heh!

Konami, what's wrong? Konami? KONAMI!!!!

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, START!!! IS SAID START DAMMIT!!!
Konami has pretty much killed itself. They made Hideo Kojima a contractor and Kojima Productions has turned into Konami LA... They even Removed a Hideo Kojima game out of the upcoming MGSV:TPP.

The man who gave us METAL GEAR... Revived Castlevania, was slated to Revive Silent Hill... will not be able to revive Silent Hill thanks to Konami's stupidity.

What does Konami have that can keep them afloat?
DDR, Beatmania? Yeah... Arcades are dead in the West...

It's your move, Konami... What kind of games can you deliver without Kojima-sama?

Prahvus revealed... No Neitlich, No secrets?

I did mention that the 200X subs may be in danger. Last update we got was at 50% and we're slightly under 6 days for the deadline. Well, Mattel sent me and many 2015 MOTUC Club Eternia Subscribers an e-mail with a picture of the FINAL Club 200X Figure: Prahvus.

Oh Holy Crap!!! He Looks Awe to the Some!!
Wait!! ALL OF THE CLUB 200X FIGURES HAVE BEEN REVEALED BEFORE THE SUB PERIOD ENDS!?  That's a First!!

Now back to Mr. Prah... or Mr. Vus... I fear the Neitlichian real name for him. So Horny 200X dude! He seems to have gotten a new head, Loincloth, Right Forearm, Armor and Shins. 6 New Pieces plus the accessories. He LOOKS very 200X WHILE USING THE CLASSICS PROPORTIONS and he looks BADASS!
Not only that but we get another independent Villain for the heroes to fight that ACTUALLY LOOKS THREATENING!

Now let's look at the 200X Minisub Lineup:
-A Golem
-A Plant Devil (or Evil Plant God)
-A Reptilian Savage Warrior
-A Winged Priestess
-A Yeti
-A Demonic Warlord
-A Headpack to make more badass versions of some past characters OR TO CREATE A NEW Character from the same species as the older characters... If you prefer keeping the characters with their vintage looks.

This has been the Most FANTASY-LIKE Lineup on the mini subs... Don't believe me? Let's look at the other Line-ups:

Club 30th:
-A Cyborg Paparazzo
-A Dragon Man
-A Purple Deadpool
-A Laser Knight who looks like Cobra Commander at a Renn faire.
-A Microman character with Big Scissors
-An Anthropomorphic Castle Grayskull

Club Filmation:
-A Blue Skinned Eskimo
-A Vampire dressed as a Barbarian Batman
-A Blue Witch in a caped swimsuit
-A Pirate who looks like a Beautician
-A Confused Pharaoh
-A Cyborg with a big Arm

Club Etheria:
-A Flamboyant Spy
-An Old Overweight Cartoony Witch
-An Evil Rapunzel
-A Bee Girl
-A Dancer
-Space She-Ra
-An Anthropomorphic Crystal Castle

But, because it features characters that were NOT from the 80s, this line-up that the characters could fit easily with the Original MOTU's first 3 waves is being rejected by some because it wasn't made in the 80s... That's a shame. MOTUC is an anthology line and in some cases it has helped expand and reconcile contradicting things. (Even though they dropped the ball with the Post New Adventures stuff)

It would be a shame to miss out on these AMAZING FIGURES! So, go to Mattycollector and get a club 200X minisub... Let's make these Badass toys HAPPEN!!

The Fall of Eternia: or why Scott Neitlich should be banned from writing comics

I was going to wait until Oo-Larr, but an upcoming episode of  Council of the First Ones has the cast rambling about this unholy abomination. I'm going to rant about it now to stop it from ruining Oo-Larr's review. This is the sequel to the comic that came with UNO... Like that comic and the ones that came before, the story was penned by Scott Neitlich... no longer with Mattel.

Ugh Let's get this show on the road:
It's been 10 years after the last mini comic. Adam killed Skeletor and Adora is MIA. Randor died off panel and now Adam returns home.

So, Flipshot and Sky High are friends and Sky High is not white... Also, He-Man puts on his classic suit and a cape after the Power of Trolla gave him the Laser Armor... Is that Detective Lubic?
Queen Marlena is dressed like a nun and gives us some bogus bullcrap about the Prophecy...
The Prophecy has been about twins wielding the power of Grayskull, but now it wasn't?
The Eternia/Earth connection was simply a champion with parents from both worlds? Bull CRAP!!
No scenes of Adam mourning Randor. Seriously, comic?

We find out that Adam Married Teela on a secret wedding off panel... (ANOTHER Neitlich MOTUC Trope: Secret Wedding)
That wedding had some consequences... He-Man is a deadbeat dad! Enter Dare (blegh!) HEIR TO THE POWER OF HE-MAN!! (See the issue here? Neitlich skipped POP, NA, the EVEN NEWER ADVENTURES OF HE-MAN to toss the twice failed Son of He-Man Concept that Mattel rejected the first time before it evolved into New Adventures and rejected a second time when Lou Scheimer pitched the He-Ro Son of He-Man who was actually the Nephew of He-Man. He claims it's for Marketing purposes, but here's the thing... Take it away, Dr. Malcolm!) Oh yeah! He-Man forces the people of Eternos to move to the outskirts of Grayskull...

So, "Prince Dare" is wearing a repaint of 200X Prince Adam's suit. Adam gets crowned as He-Man, which is a load of crap! While, yes, Adam IS He-Man, he SHOULD BE CROWNED AS King Adam of the House of Randor, the He-Man King. He-Man is not his name, but his title. That would be like Scott Neitlich renouncing to his name and have his position as Boy Toys Brand Manager be given to Toyguru. (and having the paychecks with Toyguru as the name on the check instead of Scott Neitlich)
Nice cameos of Gwildor, Sebrian, Drissi, Pookie, the Bee thingie with a kid that may or may not be Stanlan...

We then cut to Dare talking about his father not showing him "The Big Stuff"... We then see He-Man locking the sword on a Status Field... I'm sure it should have been a Stasis Field... Something something only those with He-Man's Bloodline can unlock the sword... blah blah blah. We know they're setting this up for Dare to pick up the sword.

Orko is carrying a book of Sir-Loser-Lot... Not so subtle Foreshadowing... And we meet the He-Ro: Son of He-Man Rejects squad: Whoopie cushion, Jai alai guy! Albino Teela Wannabe. S&M Ram Man, and Gimp-E-Faces! Orko remarks: "Who would dare attack Eternia now?"

Next Page, Attack happens. They tried to put a four months later to distance Orko from the phrase, but it was on the page before. So basically Orko opened his mouth and screwed all up!
Despara comes in with an army of Skelcons AND the Zombie Skeletor... Seriously, he has a Scareglow-like arm that Jai alai guy chops off! Not only that but Derpara has him on a Leash... LITERALLY!! Also Skeletor has learned Zombienglish. He has riveting lines such as "Guh?"  or "RAAAGGGHHHH!"
Adora is rambling on about Hordak being her father and how He-Man twisted things and Killed Hordak. There's something about fighting for 10 years in a battle arena.
He-Man being a tattletale points towards Skeletor as the culprit of Hordak's death. So Adora decapitates the Zombie Skeletor that she revived with the Cosmic Enforcers...
Makes no sense, right?

Dare grabs the sword and then By the Power of Daddy, I have the name of some dude in the past!
He Hulk jumps into the battle and DOES NOTHING!! Despara touches the sword and Horde Prime's Soul leaves her body.

If it was Horde Prime all along, why all this Adora babbling about Hordak? Why didn't he use Adora to "Revive" The Empire...  Orko captures Horde Prime in a Trollan Soul Catcher Spell... Do Trollans lose their souls THAT OFTEN that they NEED to have a Soul Catcher Spell?
Now that Despara was purged we get Nearly Naked She-Ra asking for her man... Sadly, it's not Bow, but the Bow-Wannabe.
Not saying that Neitlich is Misogynistic, but once again: He-Man's Equal was turned evil, could not snap out of it herself until she touched her Nephew's Phallic Symbol. She doesn't ask where she is, but instead asks where is her man. Not saying Misogyny, but Misogyny...

Well, what can I say here...


Scott Neitlich blew up Castle Grayskull...
SCOTT NEITLICH BLEW UP CASTLE GRAYSKULL!!
Let that sink in for a moment... The ancient Fortress of Power and Mystery where Teela currently resides as the Sorceress is no more... Teela may be dead since she was not outside the castle when it blew up!

What could wipe off the horrible aftertaste of Grayskull blowing up? SKELETEEN and the UN NAMED ONE!!
We end up with a Stan Lee-inspired paragraph talking about time travel, Illumina and stuff.

Then we have Neitlich using Scrollos to make fun of the fans followed by a lame joke on how Teela got her staff... Closed by another jab at the fans! Dick move, Neitlich...

The only saving grace is the art. The writing stinks and the writer should never be allowed to write comics!

odds and ends 3/14/15 Buffy, He-Man, Westeros, Spidey

Xander Harris, Sunnydale's most badass normal human, played by Nicholas Brendon...

Well, seems that Mr. Brendon has gotten in trouble and there's no Buffy to save the day... He was arrested for trashing a Hotel Room. Not the first time he's done this...
Disappointing.

Neitlich should not quit his day job to become a comic book writer...
Read the Oo-Larr mini comic (which I'll discuss with more detail on an upcoming COTFO and a a rant) but without spoiling anything else... IT SUCKS ASS! the saving grace is the artwork.
How bad is it? Well look at the pic on the left and tell me.

Do you feel the love?
That's the Neitlichverse for ya!
Now you understand why the Neitlichverse makes me sick!

Stupidity sense tingling! The Spectacular Spider-Man, aka the SECOND REBOOT in less than 15 years of Spider-Man supposedly has a director and may have an Ironman Cameo... That's not the stupid thing.

The Stupid thing is the rumors about trying to please the SJW crew by changing Parker's race.
For the same reason that I don't want an Asian T'Challa or a Inuit Wonderman is why I do not want a non-white Peter Parker... I want my characters to resemble their comic book counterparts as close as humanly possible. People bitched about the Cat on the first Hunger Games having the wrong fur color. Changing the main character's race or gender  because "Social Justice" IS WRONG! Yes, we should have more minorities, but not at the expense of taking established characters and switching them with minorities. Remember that this is coming from a person who by all intents and purposes would be considered "a minority" in continental US.

Gerogie, slow ass R.R. Martin is STILL TRYING TO BUY TIME to not finish the books.
Some HBO Exec and GRRM seem to be pushing for 10 seasons and a movie. Seems that Georgie is forgetting that the Stark Children are growing... Just look at Maisie Williams... She'll be 18 on April 15th (she was 13-14 when the show started...) She'll be 23 by the time the show's over and Arya is supposed to be like 10... Just keep it at seven and Glue GRRM to the seat in front of his typewriter!

Chooblah? More like Chooblawesome!!

Oh Holy Crap! The Kulatak Elder looks so Awesome!!

Seriously, LOOK AT HIM!! HE IS NOT A FREAKING BEASTMAN REPAINT WITH A NEW HEAD!!! This dude has BADASS Written all over his Snowy fur!

Here come the bad news... WE ARE IN DANGER OF MISSING OUT ON HIM, VEENA, PHRAVUS, AND CERATUS since those are the figures that have been shown and were not production pieces. As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, we have only reached 50% of the total of subs needed to make the Club 200X happen. (as of March 12) We only have 9 days as of March 14, 2015. The subs end on March 23, 2015. It would be a shame to miss out on these Amazing figures. The one I was afraid of has turned me into a believer and a I FREAKING WANT a KULATAK ELDER now... It saddens me that there's a huge chance of the sub not making it...

This is a FREAKING YETI that is sculpted BY THE FREAKING FOUR HORSEMEN!! HOW CAN WE GO WRONG WITH A FREAKING FOURHORSEMEN YETI ACTION FIGURE!?

So, we kinda need this sub to happen so we can get:
A Horde Golem... That could be army built to work as Ancient Horde Troopers...
Douchebag Evilseed, who looks awesome!
A Lizard dude that you could get two to make minions for whiplash if you're not into Ceratus or 200X Whiplash.
A FREAKING 4HM YETI that could be army builder material.
King Grayskull's wife, who if you're not into 200X could make a Perfect Sorceress Teela.
And a Horny goat dude that looks more goatlike than the Satanic Goatman!

Hey what the!? COBRA received the keys to Springfield?

And G.I, Joe, America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world. was nowhere to be found... TERRORISTS RECEIVE THE KEYS TO ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S HOMETOWN and no one does nothing... Can you believe this crap? Is this the America you want to live in?



WHERE IS GI JOE?

Apparently, they are planning to strike Springfield on April 9th-12th to take out the Cobra infestation on Springfield. They are calling this operation, uh, Operation: G.I. JOE Con 2015!!

Hardcore Joe fans know the importance of Springfield in Joe canon. Cobra stems from Springfield and The Battle of Springfield was where

 Took over COBRA in the more darker comics.

I have to say that this has been the BEST Publicity stunt pulled by the GIJOECon team! I mean, having Cobra Commander get the keys to the city was a pretty sweet move!

Things I learned from Sidekicks

Boredom has struck me hard and seeing how Yesterday was March 10, Universal Chuck Norris day, I decided to watch Sidekicks.

-The Director of this movie is Chuck Norris' brother... NEPOTISM!!
-A successful erotic fantasy about your Teacher has no sex but tons of Chuck Norris fighting Ninjas.
-Chuck Norris and the late Jonathan Brandis do not need to hit people with their kicks to knock them down.
-Winnie Cooper is still hot! Yeah, I had to google Danica McKellar to see what she's been up to... after playing Miss Martian on the unfairly cancelled Young Justice... All I have to say is DAYUM!
-Beau Bridges is the Go-To actor when needing a father that somewhat cares about his son's problems. (I am disappointed that he didn't solve Barry's issues by bonding through Nintendo.
-No one has a chance against Chuck.
-Joe Piscopo is making Martin Kove's Kreese look like a pushover...
-This movie is starting to look like the Karate Kid, but with more Chuck Norris... since the Original Karate Kid lacked Chuck Norris, this movie fixes that mistake.
-Do not mention Chuck Norris to Joe Piscopo.
-This kid has the attention span of a goldfish. He's watching a Chuck Norris movie but instead daydreams about Chuck Norris? I get daydreaming about Chuck during History class, but during a CHUCK NORRIS MOVIE!?I'm surprised Chuck hasn't kicked you in the soul!
-Many people complain about Chuck shooting the gunpowder trail and how it would have helped the detonation go faster. Technically speaking he was aiming towards the area NEXT to the gunpowder trail. The reason was to lift dirt and break the trail. Now you know... 
-Gunpowder explosions don't kill or maim. They just take off your outer layers of clothes leaving you in your UNDAPANTS!
-Reading National Geographic Magazines can summon Helicopters with... you guessed it, Chuck Norris!
-The movie has a few racist scenes (Like the Piscopo speaking Engrish when lighting the powder) but using "chink" in 1992? We're not in the late 40s!
-Racist man has a weird reaction to his jacket catching fire. Then again, that's what happens when you act like a dick next to the Wizard Akiro... played by the late Mako... Hmmm. Both Mr. Miyagi and Mako are dead... Holy Crap! Ralph Macchio is next!
-Jonathan Brandis was so pasty in that movie that when the flour hits him, it gives him color! Seriously, the kid looks unnaturally pale. I think he might Sparkle in the sunlight.
-Seriously, how many health code violations are happening there with Jonathan Brandis getting floured in the face while he sits atop a food preparation area?
-I really feel bad for the TMNT for having to train under Mako for 15 years. In less than 5 minutes he has demoralized the hell out of Jonathan Brandis.
-Bikers can enter closed restaurants whenever they please.

-This Biker looks a little bit like Chuck Norris... IMDB says it's one of Chuck's sons... NEPOTISM!!
-Holy crap! Walking with Jonathan Brandis can be a dangerous experience! He even narrates his actions. I hope this narration is not a set up for a Wonder Years reference. There's Winnie!
-Bullies are lame in this movie.
-Milk knows how to appear before Chuck Norris asks for it.
-Jonathan Brandis can be as intimidating as a Chihuahua.
-Did I just hear a Ladybugs reference, when the coach calls JB a lady?
-Immaginary Chuck Norris comes to help you out in Rope Climbing when in need. With my luck, I'd probably get Gabriel Iglesias instead.
-Winnie's dad is really dangerous... No wonder no one dates her in here.
-Beau Bridges is a Keyboard Warrior.
-Not even Chuck Norris can save you from the dreaded FRIEND ZONE!!
-The Friendzoned Tantrum will break your inhaler!
-Getting Friendzoned causes Erotic Chucktasies... with Nazis. Because every Family film needs to have racist scenes and Nazis!
-The Friendzone can get you hospitalized... (at least he didn't die of Friendzoning... and my snarky comment seems a lot more cruel since JBrandis offed himself.)
-Modern Medicine has no chance against Ancient Chinese Secret... and no, it's not Calgon.
-Montages solve everything.
-Jonathan Brandis will drink anything if you tell him it's magic... like sewage (I know it sounds cruel seeing that he is dead, but It's something I learned from watching this movie...)
-PE Teacher promised to kill himself If Brandis died while making pushups... I had a snarky joke coming, but due to Jonathan Brandis' death, the joke would be a bit tasteless.
-Metal nunchucks are perfect tool for a beginner. I smell a nunchuck ballsac collision! Ah! there we go! What!? The face too!? Oh movie, you are wild!
-Train tracks are perfect to practicing nunchuck usage...
-I can be as awkward as Beau Bridges doing a Kata when I'm on the dance floor.
-Like I said, Montages solve everything. Now Brandis is a Master!
-Mako was very wise, or he saw the part where Brandis was walking and suddenly started to crawl in the dirt due to a Chucktasy. Learn to control your dreams is a wise advice! Oh! TV is his source of wisdom... Kinda like Gex, minus the gecko part!
-Another Montage? I thought we could only get 2 montages per film.
-Japanese Schoolgirl uniforms make great cheerleader outfits?
-Now that Brandis is carrying a bag of balls he has the uh, balls to face the bully!
-Standing up to an opponent and not being a doormat is what you need to win the Coach's respect.
-Kick a bully's ass and the girl who Friend Zones you (before you nearly died from a FZ Tantrum) wants to go to the Zoo with you. Now not sure if this is out of genuine interest or pity.
-FINALLY! A Chucktasy! It's been like ten minutes since we had one of those!
-What the hell is in that Asthma pump and Mr. Li's sewage "Magic potion"? Exploding piñatas in an erotic fantasy while being Chuck Norris' sidekick? Good thing this was made before the Brony phenomenon... MLP/Chuck Norris fantasies...
-Wow! I guess that Shotgun was using Chuckshot in order to make that big of an explosion!
-Look down, back up! the teacher is now Winnie!
-Chuck Norris gets cockblocked by Jonathan Brandis... and now I can't make a Chuck Norris Facts comment due to Brandis' death.
-Karate Tournament... Where have I seen this before?
-Turtles dancing... This wisdom tidbit from Mako seems almost prophetic since he ended up playing Splinter before dying.
-Four Montages!? + Chucktasies? This movie should have been called: FILLER.
-Teams need to be with 4 People. If you're missing a member, Chuck Norris gladly will fill in... Especially if it'll help Piscopo's ass!
-That dude was like a Chun Li with a penis. Lightning leg!
-Jonathan Brandis came. A Real life Chucktasy without being a Chucktasy.
-Chuck Norris owned the Registrar dude.
-You don't need a gi for Brick Breaking.
-Brandis suffers from a Chuckless Chucktasy to cover up the fact that the nunchuck scene was not done by him.
-Fifth Montage? Or does the Women's Kata count? If so we're on SIX! Six Montages! Ah ah ah ah ah!
-Piscopo's Final Form was sent flying with 3 flips thanks to a Flying Sidekick by Chuck Norris!
It's physically impossible, but Screw Physics, we have Chuck Norris!
-Piscopo chooses breaking.
-Adding Fire to the mix... Isn't that Cheating?
-Dreams can come true, if you want them bad enough. This will come to bite me in the ass!
-Chuck Norris is Batman
-Kid on wheelchair doesn't want to walk enough... if we're to believe Chuck Norris. And there it is!

Dammit movie!! It's hard to make fun of you when you have two dead cast members and one of them was suicide! So, don't bother watching Sidekicks unless you want to tread incredibly familiar territory with a Chuckarriffic Karate Kid knock-off!

So, we are getting TWO Ghostbusters films.

This "Second Film" is supposed to have a male cast... Something something Channing Tatum.
I don't know what's worse: getting Bridesmaids 2: Paranormal Boogaloo! or getting Bridesmades 2: Paranormal Boogaloo! and a GB movie with Channing Tatum... Seriously, he's like Megan Fox, but with Dangling Genitalia!!

Wait... What if, one of the Ghostbusters movies IS BASED AFTER THIS?

The Incredibly horrible NES Game... I mean, what's left to do in this incredible ball of suck that has become of Ghostbusters...

With Ramis dead, Murray not interested in doing any GB after the amazing Ghostbusters: The videogame... (which is pretty much GB3) Why in Zuul's name is Akroyd trying to cash in on it?
Just give it up man! You seem more desperate for money than the time you appeared on Casper.

But to be fair, at least you didn't DO Garfield 1 and 2...

This should be scrapped and maybe reboot it in 2045...

Veena: Queen of Castle Grayskull finally revealed!

Dear Princess Celestia:
I think I need a new pair of shorts after watching this amazing reveal of the 200X Figure of the Mini Sub that I wanted the most. Friendship lesson? OK... I learned that I shouldn't watch Mattel Reveals with friends or co-workers because I tend to overreact when I see them.
Your Faithful Student. Nefty!

Now that I got the whole Nicole Oliver = Veena = Sunbutt joke out of the way, let's talk Veena!!

Oh Holy Crap! She looks FAN-EFFING-TASTIC!!

The FourHorsemen Captured the 200X Look of Veena and made her come alive in Plastic!

The sub period isn't over but we KNOW ALL of the reveals, Mattel has kindly shown us ALL of them save Prahvus and Chooblah... and if we believe the last percentage update by Mattel, they HAVE the Prahvus Prototype.

Seriously, it's been A WHOLE NEW WORLD ever since Neitlich left...

Cue the Disney song...

All jokes aside, the new reveal is Freaking Sweet! and she WILL Complement a KG + BL Display if you're into 200X, or a KG+BL+Zodak+SLL+TMS+He-Ro+Tytus+Eldor+Hamburglar He-Man if you follow the Neitlichverse version of MOTU.

If you haven't subbed up yet, you should sreiously consider it... If you're not into 200X she could fill in the role of Sorceress Teela.

Videogame Remakes: Good or bad?

Y'all know that my gaming involves MOSTLY retro games and I tend to stay at most one Generation behind the current Generation. I tend to blame Square Enix Sucking and the abundance of Generic FPS game # 769 now with Zombies because Zombies are cool!

So, I've been looking at old school games once again... (32Bits and lower) because anything fancier tends to be an HD Port of (Insert game here) with maybe some features that were cut out of the less powerful console. In some cases, we get lazy ass ports of a PS1 game for PS4.

Recently, I was able to borrow a copy of Metroid: Zero Mission and Super Castlevania IV...
The common trend on both of these games are that they are a Remake of an Original NES Game.
Metroid and Castlevania, respectively. I also I'm the proud owner of a copy of MGS: The Twin Snakes, which is a remake of Metal Gear Solid...

Can you guess what these three games have in common? Aside that they are remakes.
They are remakes with extra gameplay features that the Original lacked that make these games feel familiar but different! It goes beyond a simple Graphics update and refreshes the classic game. At the same time, I fear too many rehashes of the same game can become annoying... Isn't that right Capcom and your multiple RE-Makes of RE1... (I could count the Original RE-Make) Don't get me started on Street Fighter II! (I love SFII, but that game has been remade and ported so many times that if you fart on any direction, the flatus may reach a SFII Port.)
Now the reason I make an emphasis in Extra Gameplay Features is because some companies tend to do ports and give them some new cutscenes and expect us to think! Oooh! Wow! a Remake!

Not saying any names here...

Sometimes, these remakes tend to correct something tedious from the previous version, but in some cases, the remake may have some better things than the original (Extra missions, playable characters, translation errors corrected, fixed bugs/glitches) but end up being inferior due to some issues... Massive slowdown when doing some flashy attacks...

So here's the question: Are Remakes good or bad?
I have to say that this is a loaded question and could only be answered on a case by case scenario.
The only reason I enjoy some of these remakes is BECAUSE I've played the Original (Truth be told: I never beat the original Metroid, but was able to beat Zero Mission.) Also, there are plenty of games that DESERVE a Remake, if it's just to tell the story a bit better and "complete the circle" (MG, and MG2:SS I'm looking at you.)

Odds and ends 3/7/2015 Metal Gear, 200X Sub, MOTU Movie.

Metal Gear Solid V finally got a release date... It wasn't on February as earlier rumors stated. It's on September 1, 2015. There is also a collectors edition coming with a Replica of Big Boss' Cybernetic arm and some other stuff... But BIG BOSS' FREAKING ARM!! It's tempting me... if the collectors stuff ain't on PS3, I'm skipping it because I'm not an owner of a PS4 or an XBone... blame Grayskull and the Battle Ram. I better check out this week if I can upgrade my preorder to a Collector's edition.

I haven't been super pushy with the 200X Mini sub... A few days back, we got Mattel's second update and we're on 39%... It's a decent number for 9 days. Sadly, we have less than a month to reach the goal. I'm glad that we no longer have Scott Neitlich using panic and chaos to sell subs, but I honestly hope we reach the numbers before the sub period ends. I NEED those 200X heads and a Queen Grayskull, not to mention Evil Seed, 2 Ceratuses, or Cerati. The other guys are cool, but these 3 are TOP PRIORITY for me.

Somebody at SONY tweeted this pic. Supposedly this is production art or concept art for the Grayskull Roid Rage version of Cringer.

I'm not digging the Sepia Tone on the pic. I need to know if he is green... I like the armor though. It looks very Battle Cat-like. That is a good thing.

Hopefully we'll get something more than a pic of Battle Cat... Need to hear that they started filming!!


Looks like Harrison Ford still has some of that Indiana Jones and Han Solo moxie in him. He survived a plane crash in a World War II era plane...

I know this happened a few days ago, but back then the identity of the pilot wasn't confirmed. Now we know it was Harrison Ford. I got to give credit to the man. He pulled off a great plane crash where he came out of it alive and was able to make it to an area where the number of casualties could be a minimum while piloting a vintage aircraft.

That's pretty much. movie hero badassery pulled off in real life. I hope that he can recover from his wounds relatively fast... I mean the guy is 72 years old and he's got more badassery on his pinky toe than a lot of people much younger than him.

It came from the Toy Chest: Believe it! (no, not Naruto)

But it IS a NINJARRIFIC It Came from the toy chest! I am talking of Mattel's very own Ninja Warrior... who is really Ninjor, but Mattel lost the Ninjor Trademark... and I better like this figure because I have 3 of him... (One from my sub and two more that I bought on the Day of Sale for Army Building...) Can't simply have ONE Ninja warrior... Ninja are cannon fodder... Ask the TMNT, or Christopher Lambert... or any Kombatant...

So, the evil ninja that work for Skeletor...
He was one of the later waves figure... Pure parts reuse (aside the head and cloth items)
Now he has gone through the classicizer machine and gotten a really lame bio...

Real Name: Unknown
Armed with nunchucks, a longsword and longbow, this awful assassin was summoned from another world by a spell of light to serve Skeletor on Eternia. His mission is to eliminate all of the Heroic Warriors one by one until He-Man no longer has any help in defending Eternia. This Ninja Warrior, sometimes called “Ninjor” by his foes, always moves with great speed, skill and silence. His true motivation however has been kept secret from all. Even while serving Skeletor, he reports back to his true master, Horde Prime, detailing Skeletor’s weak points and how to exploit them. Ninjor appears out of nowhere to ambush Heroic Warriors!

Hulk Hogan and THREE Ninjors? Am I referencing a bad
movie?

Normally I save Bio discussions for Episodes of Council of the First Ones, but I MUST reemphasize the awfulness of this bio.

Awful assassin... It sounds more like he SUCKS ASS at being an assassin, than he is an awful human being who happens to work by assassinating people.

HE was summoned by Skeletor, but he works for Horde Prime... Think of all the planets in the five dimensions of the MOTU Universe, Skeletor simply found an assassin who happened to serve Horde Prime?

Let's just move on to the figure...

Shapeways and fans do
what Mattel can't

Articulation:
Standard MOTUC Articulation with limited Ankle movement due to the new Shins. (Reuse form Kobra Khan it seems)
4.0
Paint and Sculpt:
The vintage Ninjor was simply the evil buck with an Asian looking head and cloth armor. Boy, am I glad the Horsemen ignored the vintage look and went for something new... Seriously, I half expected the Preternia He-Man Armor in black for him... He looks badass... I'm seriously tempted to paint Ninjor 2 and 3 with Yellow and Blue accents on the costume... Then I'd need Ninjors 4, 5,6,7,8 to make some more NINJAs...(Gray, black, purple, red, and green) Also getting some NA Skeletors to remove the armor and get casts of Ninjor's head and armor to make Robot Ninja (In Red, Yellow, Gray and Blue)!! because REASONS!!! Here he gets a 5.0
Accessories:
Two complaints here: No chains on the chucks... Bow with arrow molded to it.
But for every complaint that I have with the figure there's a few things that he GETS RIGHT! Let's start with the Katana. It's a Real Looking Katana and not Jitsu's sword in Silver.
Then we have the quiver. Sure, the Bow sucks ass, but the quiver can hold it AND another accessory! THAT IS AWESOME Ladies and Gentlemen!

The Second Head looks cool!
It has a ponytail and looks badass on a single Ninjor acting as Grandmaster Ninja or something.

His final accessory is a Belt for Jitsu, which makes the Warrior with the Golden Hand more 200X Like... When you have Multiple Ninjors, you can make one of them into a Ninja Grandmaster and give him the Jitsu Belt. Personally I'd repaint the red black and the gold red... or maybe keep the gold. I'm still a bit torn on that.
I have to say a 4.0 due to the two failed weapons.
Overall:
Here Ninjor gets a 4.33 as his final score. I blame Mattel's lack of foresight in balancing the budget for him for some of his lost points. Me needing to go through shapeways to fix him is not a good solution.
Love having 3 of him. Makes the displays more dynamic!

It Came from the Toy Chest: The Anime Hyperdetail has been doubled!

Dammit! Looks like I'll have to praise Ruben Martinez**... IIRC he did design one of the figures in this two pack. Yes, I'm talking about Snake Armor He-Man vs 200X King Hsssss!
This, for me is a HUGE Victory. To be Honest, I expected the Vintage Hairdo on this figure. Instead I FINALLY GOT THE 200X Head I've been clamoring for ever since I got Reissue He-Man all the way back in November 2009.  (Way back before I seriously considered reviewing toys)

So, who are Snake Armor He-Man and 200X King Hssss?
200X Hsss is the easiest to define. That's the redesign used on the 200X series and toyline for King Hssss. Instead of looking like a Penis Helmeted Hamburglar, he looks more Egyptian Pharaoh Snake dude.

Now, Snake Armor He-Man was the "main look" for He-Man during the second half of the 200X Show when it focused on the Snakemen. The Armor has a more Gladiator-inspired look (Probably because 2 years before there was a popular movie about Gladiators... Not the American kind. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was also released in 2000 and it heavily inspired the first season...

So, this more armored look seemingly to appease some parents groups that disapproved of He-Man's little amount of clothing...(Probably because they were afraid of the stupid notion that a scantily clad strong man would infect children with "teh gays" or some BS Excuse...)  So we got this new cool look... Also VARIANTS OF THE MAIN GUY MAKE MONEY mentality was what screwed us in 200X...


Now we have ALL Main Eras of He-Man represented... (well, we will next month with Mini comic He-Man in Oo-Larr)

Let's get down to business.

I'm starting with He-Man because, He-Man:
Before I get into the review part itself, I'm going to rant... more.
The Armors: Snake Armor He-Man has NON-REMOVABLE ARMOR, but KING HSSSS DOES!?
What the HELL!?
The excuse is most likely because SA He-Man has a partially painted body.
So, freaking what, so does Strongarm (Strong-Or) Fisto, King He-Man, Sir Laser Lot, etc.
The Non-Removable Armor killed my chance at making  More SA variants:
-Lightning Claw He-Man (Basically the TP Harness and shield on SA Buck.
-Space Snake Armor He-Man (NA full Armor and Helmet head)
-SnakeBattle Armor He-Man (BA Armor)
-Viper Strike He-Man (SA buck with FF Armor)
-NA Snake Armor
-Preternia disguise SA He-Man

Right out of the bat, Mattel killed the dream I dreamed.


Articulation:
Standard MOTUC Articulation, minus the boot cut. The new Snake Hunter boots lack boot cut. While the pauldron doesn't hinder the articulation TOO MUCH, it can be a bit bothersome.
3.5

Paint and Sculpt:
The new head's sculpt is based on the toy with the male version of the Farrah Fawcett hairdo. It's no 200X Mullet (as seen on the toon) but it looks different than the Prince Valiant do that Filmation and MOTUC He-Man have.

The body reuses some King Hsss parts on the right side and some new parts to faithfully recreate the Snake Armor look while staying close to the MOTUC aesthetic. (200X haters will cry Anime Hyperdetail and other BS)5.0

Accessories:
Removable Snake pincer, 200X sword... The end. Mentioning a Shield on the bio and NOT GIVING HIM SAID SHIELD is stupid! 2.0


Now unto King Hsssss, whose body is compatible with the Previous King Hsss Disappointing Snake body.

Articulation:
Standard Articulation for the king of the Snakemen He loses the boot cut as well.
4.0
Paint and Sculpt:
I'm surprised that he got new feet. I half expected the Demo-Feet returning. Love the attention to detail on the greaves and belt. The reuse of Draego-Man's forearms was smart. Even the angular head looks good. It makes him look Humanoid, but at the same time that something about him is off. The plastic-like properties of his light minty green flesh help create a somewhat undead appearance on King Hssss.
There is very little slop on mine.
5.0 
Accessories:
Snake staff in a more 200X Colors and Snake shield... No Snake Form. We were warned about this for a while, but it still sucks ass!
3.0*

Overall score:

Before I rate the complete package here's the score for Snake Armor He-Man. 3.5 is what he got. Why? I blame the lack of accessories, the inability to remove the armor and the slightly hindered articulation.
The positive side is that head. I popped it off the Snake Buck as you can see on a previous pic and swapped the Prince Adam angry head from my Custom 200X He-Man and now he is complete! (the snake armor buck went to sleep on the box where variants wait their turn to be displayed.)

For King Hssss the final score is 4.0*, which is good!
He quickly replaced my slightly 200X-ized Vintage Hssss on my shelf.

Now this gives the 2 Pack an overall score of 3.75*
This is a decent score for a surprise two-pack from the "second most hated era in MOTU that had a cartoon and toyline."

notes:
*= Scores may change WHEN we get the Snake Body for King Hssss.
**=The Character design of Snake Armor He-Man (not the engineering of the MOTUC Figure) is attributed to Ruben Martinez back when he worked on the 200X toyline. based on some of the extra features from the 200X series DVDs.  IIRC most of the character designs for the snakemen  season had little to no input from the FourHorsemen)