Oct 7, 2021

Random thoughts on life and stuff... I guess

 I know that this sounds like I'm just writing this to use as a filler in order to have a number of rants instead of ranting less and having more impact with each rant. I swear it's not. This is just a collection of thoughts that have been gnawing at the back of my head but each thought doesn't have enough pull to create a full blown out rant... by themselves, and since there are no bits of news to post to make it an odds and ends, well here we are.

-How did our parents do it? Being an adult, I mean. I honestly don't know. I feel just as clueless about life as I was back in High School.  I mean, they managed to do the whole being an adult thing and make it look so easy. On the other hand I feel like any day now everyone will figure out that I'm a 13 year old trapped in a late 30s body. 

At my age THEY HAD A TEENAGE SON!! Me? I'm trying to convince myself that a glass of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with Chocolate milk  a fancy dinner does not make. Maybe I'm a low budget hedonist in a society who rejects hedonism. Maybe I'm a washed out 80s kid who clings to vestiges of his childhood as a sort of safe space, because he's become completely terrified of the world after he became an orphan. I haven't found myself and I'm supposed to be an adult and have my life straightened up in order to raise the next generation...

On the other hand, there's some sort of peace in going to a Laundromat. Monetarily speaking it's cheaper to do laundry at home, but far more time consuming. Work clothes, casual clothes, bedding, towels. In clothes alone that's roughly 5 loads. Separating the clothes between colors and whites, delicates and non delicates that's 4 loads. Add the bedding (2 loads) and towels. That's roughly 8 hours of laundry time at home. Splitting laundry into two days would waste even more time. But back to my main point: there's something so relaxing of sitting on a bench, staring at the clothes as they tumble on the machine, while the TV's background noise drones on and on. It's almost therapeutic. WHY OH WHY am I finding Laundromats so relaxing!? I'm not a girl, so I can't sit on the washer machine... so, why Am I having Zen moments there? Does this mean I'm an adult?

Why are more appliances wanting to use Wi-Fi? I understand the TV requiring WiFi for streaming. Videogame consoles and computers are understandable too... Air Conditioner is almost acceptable with thw whole remote turning on/off thing but the fridge, the microwave, stove/oven cooking range, washer and dryer... that's just ridiculous! Why would my washer NEED internet access? Or the fridge... if I have Alexa, why would I need my fridge to tell me how to make a beef stew... even without Alexa, I have a cellphone! Hell, there's a Smart Toilet coming... it also has bidet options... not gonna lie, bidets are far more awesome than I ever thought. Especially when dealing with hemorrhoids. Shame that I can't have one... a bidet, not the hemorrhoids... but seriously, that toilet is rumored to be a couple of thousand dollars...

So, 2 years ago, I tried to reduce my meat intake for all the wrong purposes... it was a failure, but not for the reason I believe you're tininking... we broke off amicably. My job was the main reason for that. Cost was the main issue. Vegetarian friendly options... I make emphasis on Vegetarian because not all places have fully fledged Vegan options, aren't exactly cheap. Like I mentioned before, a Whopper is far cheaper than the Impossible Whopper. I cannot bring meals from home due to the nature of my work, which means I have to eat outside on days that I have more than a single shift. Also, fuck salads, they might be healthy, but they are not satisfying. I suck at making Seitan. In fact I don't think I have eaten any good Satan EVER... yes, speech to text called Seitan Satan, not going to fix it because it's funny... again, 13 year old trapped in an almost 40 year old body. And yes Seitan is the devil... tastes nothing like meat or chicken, feels like I'm eating a spiced up slightly overcooked wet pizza dough... I'm  better off cooking seasoned Portobello caps and eating them with rice. 

As long as vegetarian or vegan options are far more expensive than meat, less people will try them. I still eat veggie burgers every now and then BECAUSE they DON'T TASTE LIKE MEAT... even if I can fart a Sonata later on. The issue is when they TRY HARD to "taste like meat" and reach the uncanny valley where things get weird. 

I've tried vegan ice cream and so far only vanilla and strawberry tasted great. For some reason the vegan chocolate ice cream I tried tasted off. That's weird since Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry are all plant based products.

I wish we could get Healthy meat free food that was:
Cheap, Convenient, and with Tasty meat substitutes that are at least better than acceptable for hardcore meat eaters.

Does anyone remember the Starting Lineup line of "staction figures"? Ever since my Mafex Jordan reference in the Nedry review, I've been thinking about how cool it would be to resurrect that line but with Marvel Legends level of Articulation... Basketball, Baseball, Football, Boxing... if they made those in 1:12 scale, I KNOW I would buy the following:
Basketball:
Michael Jordan
Larry Bird
Magic Johnson
Shaquille O'Neal
Dennis Rodman
Hakeem Olajuwon
Charles Barkley
Kobe Bryant
Wilt Chamberlain

Baseball:
Juan Igor Gonzalez
Sammy Sosa
Jose Canseco 
Darryl Strawberry
Mark McGwire
Babe Ruth
Roberto Clemente

Football:
Dan Marino
Ray Finkle
Joe Montana

Yeah my Football knowledge is severely limited...

Boxing:
Mike Tyson
Muhammed Ali
Joe Frazier
Evander Holyfield
George Foreman
Felix Trinidad
Oscar de la Hoya
Julio Cesar Chavez
Eric Butterbean Esch
Bernard Hopkins
Manny Pacquiao 
Floyd Mayweather 
Mamadou Thiam
Miguel Cotto

Apparently boxing is one of my favorite sports, since I can name more than 10 boxers from the top of my head. Which is funny since I don't watch that much boxing... or any sporting event for that matter.

How am I supposed to know if I'm going through a Mid-Life Crisis if I've been doing all the things a person with a Mid-life crisis does EVER SINCE I BECAME 18!?  
I didn't come with an instruction manual!!

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