May 11, 2023

Chocolate Hazelnut creme Oreos, what were they thinking!?

I like Oreos and I like Nutella... theoretically speaking, I should like Chocolate Hazelnut Creme Oreos... right?
Sorry Nabisco, but they are awful.

No. They stink and I don't like them!! I'll tell you all about it:
The Hazelnut is non-existent in these cookies.
Nutella's third ingredient, right after sugar and palm oil is Hazelnuts.
The Oreos have absolutely ZERO Hazelnuts... the "Hazelnut flavor" is a chemically engineered flavor by people who only smelled the farts of someone who ate only hazelnuts for 24 hours...
Nothing against artificial flavors because some are actually good and properly mimic the natural flavor like the lemon cookies... but at least it's not Beaver ass juice... and right now something that comes out of a beaver's asshole sounds more appetizing than these Oreos. Oh my, I seem to have channeled the AVGN for a moment there, but yeah, the sentiment is real. These things are an abomination to Oreo and Chocolate Hazelnut spreads.

The good: I'm tempted to say NOTHING, but ignoring the horrible flavor and the weird aftertaste, the amount of creme is good. Feels like it has more than a normal Oreo, less than a Double Stuf Oreo. You can cleanly separate the creme from the cookie. The last set of cookies that remained were eaten without the creme. They tasted off. 

The bad:
Flavor was horrible. The cookie on its own tasted off... not stale but like a bad initation.
The creme texture was dry yet greasy... almost lard-like and the aftertaste was a hint of nut but heavy on a "unnatural flavor"... kinda like burnt sesame combined with something plasticky... like a drinking straw after you chew it way too much.... wait that might be stress chewing or pica. 

Do I recommend them? Hell No! I'd rather get normal Oreos and dip them in Nutella. 
After drinking 2 glasses of milk, brushing my teeth twice and using a mouthwash cocktail I managed to get rid of the aftertaste...

Update: They smell better on the way out. My feces had a strong scent of Hazelnut in addition to the standard fecal scent that our noses tend to ignore on our own feces. I point this out because I obviously went to the bathroom and I felt the scent of Hazelnuts... also I let a Hazelnut scented fart rip when I was driving to work.

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