Jun 17, 2021

It uh, came FROM the, uh Toy CHEST, Toy Chest, uh *random Goldblum noises*


 It's supposed to be Jeff, uh GoldBLUM from uh, JurASSic Park, uh Park! But to my luck the figure looks more like Legendary Salsa singer Hector Lavoe than it does Goldblum. Personal story, Jeff Goldblum and his character Ian Malcolm where the start of my adventures in cynicism. 

Ian Malcolm was the voice of Reason in Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park. He died in the book and thanks to Jeff Goldblum's popularity, Malcolm pulled off a Jesus and came back from the dead for the second book. Sadly, both the book AND accompanying movie weren't as good as the first...
I find it a bit small, but
it works for the joke...
Yes, I preemptively bought the gag shit
in case I ever got the Malcolm figure.


I'm going to say this a Jurassic Park series completely faithful to the book would be a great thing to have! But unto the figure.


Articulation 
Malcolm has OK-ish articulation on paper.
The execution leaves a lot to be desired. When you can't recreate the iconic Jeff Goldblum pose with a figure that clearly has the articulation to pull it off, you have failed as a toymaker, Mattel.
Single joint elbows, diaphragm ball joint with little range, double jointed knees that required the NECA rituals to get them moving, ankles with shit range...
3.0


Paint and sculpt 
The paint work is minimal but at least it's not sloppy. The sculpt is questionable like I mentioned before the figure doesn't look like Goldblum instead it looks more like Hector Lavoe. There are some angles where Goldblum's stubt double kinda shines through.
3.0


Accessories
I have V1 of Ian Malcolm... V2 has an added accessory, a communication device. (Don't have any pics of it, but it kinda looks like a cross between a walkie-talkie and Zack Morris's phone. What V1 has:
2 extra hands
Yellow stand, because "Amber" collection.
Flare
Glass of water with Hamon... (It means Ripples in Japanese. Not everything is a JoJo reference, you know?)

We could've used a second head without the glasses.
4.0


Overall
Malcolm gets a chaotic 3.33 as his final score... the score has infinite fractals as it keeps degenerating in a permanent .3333 repetition... Chaos Theory, bitches! The problems are the execution of the articulation and that the figure doesn't look like the character that it's supposed to be representing. But now that I have Malcolm and coming my way are Sattler and Hammond; I'm a bit too deep into this rabbit hole... and I'll try to get Nedry and Arnold... ah dammit! I need a bootleg Mafex Michael Jordan for the Nedry review...

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