Jul 11, 2016

Pokémon go #$%^ yourself!!

A videogame that wants me to go OUTSIDE!? Last time I tried that was with a Hideo Kojima game... Now... If I want to be the Very Best... Like No one ever Was... I'll need a phone with a super long lasting battery and a high cap data plan... Pokémon go! is where it's at now!

You see the problem right at the start there... It's a "free to play" game but you WILL PAY!! Via buying emergency chargers, eating up your data, buying the items needed to upgrade your pokémon, even with your life... Though the game gives you a small heads up while it's loading to be careful. Other than that, well...

Once it loads... I was able to play a little bit yesterday because the servers kept crashing. so I caught a Charmander at K-Mart... Wandered around for an hour and I got nothing... Tried at night again and NOTHING... Will try again one more time today and I'll let ya know... But so far, my first impressions aren't that great.

Update: So I tried again for two more hours before heading to work. Found a Homeless man, a prostitute, and a stray dog. Found out the server to PR was down and not ready until the 15th.

Update II: I was about to hit the sack... when a Facebook Notification tells me that the PR Server is working. So I put on a Shirt and some pants suitable to go outside in the middle of the night... (He-Man Underoos are not exactly Grown-Up that needs to be taken seriously while walking around in the middle of the night.) So, I'm looking for an Abra that was nearby, but this old lady wanted to call the cops on me. To be fair, I don't blame her. a 30-something guy walking around streets looking at his phone at midnight CAN BE A BIT SUSPICIOUS... Cue the sadly, not satire piece by the SJW that is claiming that Pokémon Go will kill him because he's black. Now, the cops were not called thanks to her neighbor who took out his 10 year old son outside to catch Pokémon. He explained to her the situation... She's going to be pissed when she realizes that there's a PokéStop and a Gym near her house. Kid got the Abra. I went home empty-handed until a Doduo showed up... Caught one! Then Mom's dog heard me arriving and started barking madly. (She's been overprotective of me ever since Mom passed.) I opened the door and went straight to the backyard where she's at and ANOTHER Doduo... Naturally, I caught it, cause Pokémon, bitches!

So, as I was retelling my story, the servers are down again...

I suppose it'll come and go until the 15th... In the meantime, I'll waste my time with He-Man and the Tappers of Grayskull... a Mindless MOTU game where you tap the screen like a moron as you defeat Oversized Evil Warriors and Hordesmen. Reminds me a bit of Final Fantasy All The Braves.

My friends in the US have been way luckier... Tons and Tons of Pokémon... Meanwhile I only have a Charmander and a Doduo... and Servers are down again! I should've been asleep over 1 hour ago... Damn you Pokémon Go!!

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