Good Friday, not the best day to Celebrate a Birthday.

Aside from the obvious Christian connotations, no malls open, nothing to do... So here's a couple of random pics to fill this post until I return in April!

This isn't even her final form

Perfect background music for this pic of Sabrina the are you serious? She stopped being a teen BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED... I suppose she's the Princess of all Saiyans... (She was in a movie with a certain Alicorn... both were witches)

Dra kenm eh dra beldina ec dra cysa bancuh fru juelac drec buho. Cra ymcu rybbahc du pa uha uv dra Gullwings.

OK OK. 3 Power Rangers enter a bar...

3 Power Rangers... Blue, Black, and Tommy...

I went with the Green Ranger theme cause the other Tommy theme can be racist... Seriously, if I went to a bar and saw this I'd totally faint!

Cause Screw Jason, Tommy is the best Power Ranger!

MOTU Babies...

a pic from the infamous Origin of Skeletor Comic... This is the frame next to Skeleteen's pic.
 That's The Mighty Spector taking a baby into the future and the baby is Evil Lyn's son... The Mary Sue is starting to become a Key Player... and that's bad!!

Why I HATE the whole: He-Ro: Son of He-Man

I am a "dirty cherry picker" so, I was spared from Sam Elliott: The He-Man King...

I mean King He-Man. His card comes with a sticker for a brand new Faction: He-Ro: Son of He-Man.

There we find out about He-Man beating Skeletor on Trolla... Now He-man (no longer Adam) becomes King of Eternia, has a son named Dare, who runs around with the Power Sword, but He-Man now carries a busted version of the 200X Sword...

Apparently now this Dare Twerp has THE POWER and fights his evil Second Cousin:

see pic below

This EXTREEEEEEEEM! Villain

That Liefeldian Skeletor is known as Skeleteen...

More suited to Monster High than Masters of the Universe... but with those clothes he could also fit on the OTHER MOTU (50 Shades of Grey)...

Before I go on, my dislike for the whole "Son of He-Man" era has nothing to do with Scott Neitlich, his "terraforming" of the MOTUverse in order to have his character(s) and idea(s) become part of MOTU... I'm not going to judge whether he is telling the truth about a "convenient series bible from the 80s that is NOT the leaked He-Ro: son of He-Man bible"
While I have no links to the HRSoHM bible, All I remember is that Dare is Adam's nephew who was liek a MOTU Tarzan (raised in the wild by animals). Duncan is alive, Teela is Adam's wife. There's a talking bird, and Skeletor looks like he stole some of The Shredder's Wardrobe... There was nothing about Ovaltine... I mean Skeleteen... So... I'll back away from that because that's not why I'm here today.

I Hate this "son of He-Man" idea for one simple reason: It means He-Man failed. Not to mention how it diminishes He-Man's role... then again the "multiple He-Men" already do that.

I can live with BOTH He-Ro (The Preternian one) and King Grayskull. I may not like how Scott Neitlich made them contemporary characters, but that's about it. I can accept the Keepers of the sword halves through the ages. Calling them "He-Man" is what doesn't rub me the right way...

OK: He-Man and She-Ra are being portrayed as these heroes of Prophecy that will save Eternia from the ultimate evil. So the end?


This is THE Problem as stated before. If He-Man NEEDS a successor IN HIS LIFETIME, then he failed.
There are characters who can be Legacy characters, but there are characters that are not. Batman CAN  be a "legacy" character, but it can't work because it's not the Money or gadgets what makes Batman. It's Bruce Wayne's Metahuman Preparation and Willpower. Spider-Man cannot be a legacy powers since his powers were part of a freak accident. Green Lanterns, well those can be "legacy" characters since you can pretty much get a lantern ring from a bag of crackerjacks... Remember when Cracker Jacks came in boxes? Pepperidge Farm Remembers...

He-Man could work as a legacy character BUT, since this universe is supposed to be a fantastic universe full of epic battles where the balance of the universe rests in controlling Grayskull. There NEEDS to be a period of rest between the forces of good and evil in order for some of these tide-turning places and items once again become things of legend. That's how the Legend of Zelda can get away with the whole Link, Ganon, Zelda... (the Zeldas and Links are replaceable but there is only ONE Ganon who has lived through all the games) Sure they explained this with the splitting Timeline and all that. With MOTU every past continuity, discarded concept, etc. is being funneled into one "timeline". Not to mention using a mary sue to do some "patchwork" to the timeline when a hiccup occurs.

Translation. There needs to be a golden Era during Adam's rule and extend for at least a few centuries. That way the tales of Grayskull, He-Man, Skeletor, etc. can become terms that are whispered through the winds of legend. That way, when a new evil arises (perhaps the future flung son of Keldor) we can have a Hero... (either a descendant of Adam or Adora) who stands up against this evil. The KEY part is that IF we're going to tackle stories Post-Adam,; they have to be WAY Post-Adam...

Personally I hope the story ENDS with Adam finally defeating Skeletor and he lived Happily Ever after... That way, he fulfills the prophesy and the story is open for a new generation... Either a reboot or a continuation... but with He-Man, I'll take a reboot.

It's funny, with He-Man I want the story to end, but with Boy Meets World, I want to see the new spin-off where Cory is a supporting character... Probably because Boy Meets World is not an epic tale where the balance of the universe was in jeopardy...

Frank Welker: Ascot Wearing, Decepticon Leader and many, MANY other things.

I mean he's one of the few Voice Actor's that I know that has surpassed my favorite VA (Cam Clarke) in the amount of voicework that he's done...

First let's start with the Ascot Wearing Mystery solving Teen...

Yup! Frank Welker has Been Fred Jones In everything except Live Action Scooby stuff and A pup named Scooby Doo!
Hell He became Scooby too! Cause Don Messick (Original Scooby Doo) passed away. So Fred Jones and Scooby Doo share the same VA...

He was also Marvin and the wonderdog on...


He was also Jabberjaw which kinda sounds like Curly (as in the 3 Stooges Curly...) and guess who played Curly in the Three Stooges cartoons? I'll give you a hint... I'm talking about him!

He was in a LOT of Hanna Barbera stuff... He has done some stuff for Marvel cartoons... Like the Robotic substitute for the Human Torch... The Infamous H.E.R.B.I.E. was Frank Welker!

He also seems to be Don Messick's back-up or understudy cause some roles played by Messick were played occasionally by Welker...

And his voice was used on Raiders of the Lost Ark... (I'm guessing that some of the wails from the Face Melting spirits...) He was the Narrator on Zorro: the gay blade...
He was Chomp on Pac Man... Yes, there was a Pac man cartoon...


But let's move on to better stuff...

Here he plays... wait for it... a DOG!! OK, more like a Wolf. Snake Eye's Lupine partner, Timber IS Frank Welker... He also plays Rock 'n Roll and Short-Fuse... Not to mention Wild Bill, Polly and others.



Iceman is Fred Jones... I kid you not! When I first saw this, my brain recognized his voice instantly!

He also did some voices for the G1 Ponies... but you know that I'm going to touch other G1 things...


ORIGINAL MEGATRON AND SOUNDWAVE!! And since I have a soft spot for Soundwave, that's why he's here!

He voiced the thing on The Golden Child... and he's done some smurfs too!
He was also Slimer and Cartoon Ray Stantz... So Transformers, GI Joe, X-Men, and now Ghostbusters... Dude, Frank Welker WAS in a lot of people's childhoods even if we ignore the obvious Hanna Barbera stuff...
and Muppet Babies!! Holy crap! He was in Muppet Babies... I totally did not know that... HOLY CRAP!
Gremlins 2 had him do Mowhawk... He was also Gameboy on Captain N: The Game Master...

OK... He WAS TOKKA AND RAHZAR... I did not know that either... Now I know...

Duude he was the Devil on Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey...

I swear If there's an animal in a cartoon movie chances are it's Frank Welker... Abu and Rajah from Aladdin? Suchi from Captain Planet? Bandit from Jonny Quest? Bronx from Gargoyles? F*** He even voices Anaconda in... wait for it... Anaconda!

No freaking way!

Fred Jones is Shao Kahn's voice!?

This seems a bit shorter, but that is because many, MANY of his works include reprising some roles across various "generations" or "reboots" of series... Holy Crap!! Thanks Mr. Welker for all the entertainment your acting has brought upon me and many children throughout the ages!

Wow... Just wow...

Normally I'd bitch moan or complain about toys, movies, videogames, or Erotic Twilight Fan Fiction becoming an actual book and possibly a movie starring Hermione Granger... (speaking of that... The Original Title of said Twilight Fan Fiction was MOTU...)

But not today. Today I want to bring up a pretty nice PSA... You know I've shown some PSAs that I loved as a kid. Well here's a pretty different Anti-Rape PSA.

Respect. That's the moral. Shame that many choose not to respect others.


Speaking of TV shows... Entertainment Tonight has some Girl Meets World stuff...

Do my Eyes deceive me? Is that...

Seems that I must keep an eye out for this show...

Why it would be awesome to have a MOTUC Barbie and Ken?

It totally would. What's more Mattel than Barbie? We already have MOTU Hot Wheels. A Cross Promotion between Barbie and MOTU lines would be stupid-awesome. Why hasn't Mattel done it? No idea... Sure, they've made X-Files Barbies, DC Barbies, Speed Racer Barbies, Twilight Barbies... There's some 60s Batman Barbies coming... Yes, there's going to be an Adam West Bat Doll that can hang out in Barbie's Dreamhouse... Still we have no MOTU Barbies...

Sure Mattel did a Polly Pocket/She-Ra Crossover... But Polly Pocket ain't Barbie... When you say Mattel, everyone WILL think of Barbie or Hot Wheels... MOTU may be a distant third competing with Big Jim (depends on the age of the person asked...) So, in order to promote MOTU Classics to a different set of collectors, it WOULD be cool to have a Barbie and friends Special Halloween sub line of them disguised as MOTU and POP characters.

Have Barbie as She-Ra, Blaine as He-Man, Ken as Bow, Midge as Castaspella, Stacey as Glimmer, Teresa as Catra, Allan as The Mighty Spector, etc. But that's up to the Barbie Team to figure out...
It brings some awareness back to He-Man and She-Ra and gives the Barbie Collectors another set of Barbies to get.
On the other hand, I'd be more interested in an obvious novelty item. Like the title says: a Masters of the Universe Classics Barbie and Ken.


He-Man's cameo here has nothing to do with me wanting a MOTUC Barbie and a Super Buff Ken... Yes, this is the perfect novelty item for a convention. Barbie Folks may be curious about it and MOTUC Collectors could use them as is and in worst case scenario use them as Custom figure bases.
Seriously, If we can have Cowboys with lasers popping out of his body, Demon-ninja, Firefighting robo-elephants, Having Barbie and Ken as characters isn't THAT Far-Fetched... Sure some people (most of them) would scoff at this crazy idea, which a small group of people has mentioned every now and then. I know that this is kinda shoe-horning Barbie and Ken into MOTUC, but we HAVE Mo-Larr, Sir-Laser-Lot, and Spector IN MOTUC already. So having this two pack as an almost self-contained thing could work. Have Barbie as A Former Sorceress of Grayskull. It's been about 5000 years between the First Sorceress (Queen Veena) to the current Sorceress (Teela-Na). There's Plenty of Room there to have a bunch of Past Sorceresses and a Personal Guardian (we need to have some way to toss Ken in...)
Sure, they could go 2 ways with Barbie if she's a Sorceress:
a) the Lazy way and Make a Pink Sorceress with 2 new heads (one with the Sorceress Headdress and Barbie's face on it and a second Full Barbie head with her hair loose.)
b)Use an Unreleased Sorceress Concept or an alternate version of Teela-Na (like NA or 200X Sorceress) with a second Full Barbie head... Unlike Method A this one may require new tooling.
c)the Challenging way and make a Barbie that is her own character but with hints towards the Sorceress Heritage. (orange, White and blue elements added to the look)

Ken would be easy... Mixing and matching Male pieces to make a brand new character is more doable with a male buck. (adding Ken's head and any other new pieces if needed.)

Personally, I'd use the 200X Sorceress as the Body for Sorceress Barbie with a second Barbie Head without the Sorceress Headdress. (Real Name: Barbara Millicent of the House of Dreams) It helps 200X fans to get their Sorceress and it gives people an incentive to buy this set. (200X colors for Matty and Classic Sorceress colors for San Diego... assuming the Barbie 2 pack is made as an Exclusive for SDCC)

Like I said before: Ken is easy. If you want to make a knight out of him then:
Man-e-Faces Shoulders, Trap Jaw Biceps, Bow Forearms and NA He-Man hands are a start for an armored look.
If they wanna go for a more "barbarian" look then they need the Vykron Forearms for him... (So the modular Vykron stuff can be used on him as well... works as a nod to Ken)

Personally I hope that if Ken is made into a MOTUC, that they go with the more knightly look. That way he could have a second head with a full knight helm and be used as a Preternian KG knight. Thus making the set still be appealing for those who'd normally scoff at a MOTUC Barbie and Ken.

Aaaaaand they're back together again...

Miley and Hunger Games... not Peeta, the Other guy! Thor's Little brother... that guy... are back together again! We can now rejoice in the fact that the Wig is angry... It needs Miley alone to force her to rejoin it... So they can be Hannah once more... Yeah, Crazy symbiotic Wig sounds like better news than Miley and Liam being together again... For who knows how long until the next Separation... On and Off Relationships are very risky... not to mention emotionally draining.




But since Miley Can't be Tamed... (yeah... I went there. I mean, it's the obvious pun to use, a bit lame since I posted the video above, but yeah... whatever... Nobody's perfect... OK sorry about that last one.) I see another break coming before the end of Summer. Let's see how her new music works out... She's been working with Snoop D... I mean Lion... He's still Snoop Lion, right? Even if Snoop Lion makes no sense since The Snoop part comes from Snoopy... a Dog... wait a second... do my ears deceive me or does Snoopy's thought voice sounds like...

Yup... Snoopy is Liquid Snake... MIND CRUSH! So, the Snoop Part makes no sense without the Dog(g). Good luck to Miley on her Musical endeavors.

Power-Con will have a TALKING ARM!!

Liquid Snake's Voice Actor... whose work I vaguely touched on a previous rant... Cam Clarke... Yes, THAT Cam Clarke is going to go to Power Con!!



There's a ton of awesome people that are going to Power-Con.
Chelsea Field (Movie Teela)
Townsend Coleman (Old Toon Michelangelo... with Cam Clarke... that's 2 out of 4)
Christina Pickles (Movie Sorceress)
Larry Kenney better known as Bluegrass on Silverhawks (and Original Lion-O)
That is like an awesome collection of people who influenced my childhood...

Also, Power-Con is one of the few places where MOTUC non-subscribers can get a Strobo!

Cowabunga... I mean Booyakasha!

There's a new TMNT Game coming and the Pre-Alpha seems super awesome!

Semi-Realistic versions of the New TMNT? Whoa...

The end of the World is coming... AGAIN!

This time is for Realsies!!

  Chuck Norris -- SO OLD You Won't Recognize Him


BEARDLESS CHUCK NORRIS!! Last time Chuck didn't sport his beard he got his ass kicked...

At least I'm getting to use the Chuck Norris Tag!!

see? Chuck Norris NEEDS The Beard...  or at least the Stache...

Another My Little Pony: Royal Wedding!?

Eeyup! Apparently our Princess of books is getting Married...

This is so Messed up! This Brony whom I shall call Oatmeal...

OK, so Oatmeal writes a letter...

Ahem!
The letter is that pic up there. He writes it to an artist in deviant art who draws Erotic Pictures of Ponies... (probably for the cloppers) to stop drawing erotic pictures of Twilight Sparkle, cause he's in love with her and they're gonna get married...

Methinks somepony has gone Party of One...

Poor Oatmeal! He's been dumped by Twilight Sparkle!

Guys like these gives us a bronies bad name isn't that right my Soobie Doobie Woopie Celestia doo!

I'm kidding!

Three Months of Winter Coolness

And awesome Holidays...
We've seen castle Grayskull getting shrunk and a Filmation sub being shoved...
(Using the non-DOS stock for the 4th figure as sub bait)
Not to mention that the second part of Breaking Dawn arrived to DVD... and I'll have to watch all five movies to do a popcorn flinging of the other 4, cause I did Twilight when this blog was in diapers. (not the pony)
Mattel decided that I should not get a Fang Man (their new Strategy of Sub or die involves having random figures not available to "punish" those who couldn't subscribe... I'm afraid this may backfire come 2014.
The Fresh Prince of BelAir theme caused massive lockdowns in schools. Sephiroth attacked Russia... Had he done it during the Cold War, we'd be screwed!
We survived another end of the world... We got Granamyr... and this little musical number:


Seth MacFarlane wanting to see Jennifer Lawrence's boobs... and a bunch of people were butthurt about it.
This guy's awesome video:


Ram Man and Jitsu arrived!
Miley and Thro's Little brother may be splitting up... again!
Among many other things... It's incredible how much stuff we had coming this Winter.


But Spring is coming... and cause Spring is tomorrow and the post's title has suggested, IT'S WINTER WRAP-UP!! Take it away, My Little Ponies!

OK... THIS MAN HAS THE POWER!!!

To make a kick-ass Power Sword... I mean, Look at the Video!
Tony Swatton made a freaking Power Sword... Mattel wants to make sure that MOTU is a household name again. They are catering to a more Mature audience, hence the darkness in recent canons and the toys being "adult collectibles"... Seriously, working with a third party weapon replica makers to allow them to make licensed MOTU Weapon Replicas would help those who collect weapons, have fond memories of He-Man and don't collect toys. Also an Official Life sized Power Sword and Sword of Protection would be the most amazing centerpieces for a MOTU Collection.

sadly, Mattel is using some self imposed excuse... Fischer Price... blah blah blah... to block this from happening...

Hello! Fischer-Price kids cannot buy this. Also, who in their right mind goes to a weaponsmith site to buy swords for toddlers...

Wizards of Waverly Place: Alex vs bad fanservice

Last Friday, Disney channel aired the Wizards of Waverly Place Reunion special called  Wizards of Waverly Place: Alex vs Alex. With most of the main cast returning (No David Henrie as Justin)

So, Let's recap the series Finale: Alex (played by former Bieber Girlfriend and alleged Anti-Miley, Selena Gomez) became the Family Wizard, Justin (who was totally robbed of being the Family Wizard... cause he's not THE main character) became the Headmaster of Wiz Tech... Max, well... He totally got the short end of the stick... No Power, no nothing... Just a case of Eric Matthewsitis...

Now unto the special itself... As Alex now has the Power, she uses it like she always had to please herself and squander her power... (like her uncle Kelbo) Her father, Jerry disapproves of Alex's selfish attitude regarding her powers and wants her to grow up. Justin is unable to come home for a family reunion. This message is delivered by our Villain (but we don't know that yet) Dominic. He later has a chat with Alex about using her Magic to make herself more like the grown-up her family wants her to be and gives her a Friendship Bracelet.

So, Alex pisses off her Werewolf boyfriend, Mason by turning the meal he painstakingly cooked for two hours into a bucket of wings... With her boyfriend and her family angry at her and her selfishness; she follows Domincs advice and splits herself into two: Good Alex and Satsui no Hadou  ni Mezameta Alex... who ends up trapped in a mirror until she escapes. Dominic takes Evil Alex to the Leaning Tower of Pisa... (Most of the Plot conveniently happens in "Italy" cause the Russo's are preparing for a Family Reunion in Italy.) Here Dominic has a Machine that can amplify any spell cast into it but he needs Good Alex to Cast it. So, Evil Alex starts capturing her Family inside the Friendship Bracelet... Alex is forced to cast a spell that will trap all the non-magical humans into beads. By doing this she is captured by the Booming voices that live in a Videogame-ish Crystal chamber. Dominic tricks the Crystal voices into believing that good Alex is evil so they incarcerate her on a traditional Dungeon.

Alex escapes thanks to Mason using his werewolf powers and fights the Evil Alex. (Fan service Alert: Slenea Gomez vs Pleather and Lycra wearing Selena Gomez also with a streak of white hair cause EVIL!!)
 In any case Alex gives up her powers to save humanity... again! (something that the Special keeps reminding everyone) and then the Crystal Voices give her her powers back... THE END

Here's the thing: THIS WAS UNNEEDED!! The series ended on a high note and didn't need a "reunion" special... I mean, the show ended about a year ago. They didn't have the full cast and the whole Evil Dominic and Italian Reunion were very unneeded... Like crappy filler to make it into an hour Special instead of the half hour episode it should have been.
It was too soon to do a reunion, but far too long after the series ended to make a bonus episode...

I have to say a 4.5 out of 10

Fifty shades of Hermione!?

Apparently, Emma Watson, better known as the Know-it-all Hermione Granger is going to play the Female Lead on Awful Twilight erotic Fan-Fiction changed into a different thing... According to Anonymous.
If this is true, we can add her to Seth MacFarlane's song... I mean... Making THIS without any nudity or graphic sex scenes is like making a World War II movie without explosions, blood and Nazis...
Warning!! The following videos are dramatic readings of an erotic novel... Not safe for Work...





Is the world ready for Fifty Shades of Hermione?

Strobogate: How a perk fell flat.

Today, Mattel used Strobo, their Traveling Convention Exclusive as an Item for the Subscriber Only Early Access. He sold out in less than 10 minutes. (Some say 5 others say less. I'm saying less than 10 to have enough Margin of Error.) Sure, he'll be available at other conventions that are not SDCC through the year.

So, basically this is a message to the Day of Sales customers (the "cherry pickers")

The problem is that THE SUBSCRIBERS who were supposed to be the ones to get this "perk", got screwed as well! Well, some subscribers could not get their Strobo... a grim reminder of what their "cherry picking" brethren must endure each month.

But it's not all doom and gloom Fillies and Gentlecolts! I have received a message from our well-known Brand Manager and I quote:

Hey He-Fans,

I know there is some concern about Strobo selling out fast. As we noted, he really is our “2013 traveling convention” figure, but as a special bonus we made a very small amount available during Early Access for sub holders. Strobo will still be available at Grayskull Con, Power Con, NYCC and a limited amount in late fall on Mattycollector.com (much as we did for TOD Sorceress) so today was not the only opportunity to get Strobo.

See you at the shows!

Scott

There IS some hope for the International subscribers who can't hit the cons on the US that Strobo is going to be in... and for the DoS folks who can't hit the cons. Looks like I may be vacationing until Next Month, since Fang Man is the new Sub-Exclusive... unless a bunch mysteriously show up for Cyber Monday! In that case I MAY consider getting him, but it's unlikely.

Miley and Thor's Little Brother may be over... AGAIN!!

I miss the times when I ranted about Miley Cyrus... That was the BP Era... Before Ponies... but, it looks like the Wig Wearer is trying to make a comeback at the House of Rants!

According to the New York Post, It's OVER for Miley and Liam... But, it's been over before, so that's nothing new here... I think that Miley's party-girl personality is a bit too much for Liam... and the alleged Liam cheating on Miley with January Jones... the Real Victim here is Billy Ray Cyrus...


A victim of hairstyles and his little girl...

Speaking of victims, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is getting the ax...


One Direction has gotten a brand new act: Brown Nosing... Seriously, they're kissing Bieber's ass and asking the press to lay off him..

Demi Lovato is still alive... She got a Haircut!! Just Letting y'all know cause she vanished from the spotlight a long time ago and this made the news... This just in! Seth Green blinked!! Seriously? It's not even a "I shaved my head cause I'm crazy!" haircut!

It Came from the Toy chest: Juggernaut Shmuggernaut!

I have a Ram Man!! OK, I have the 200X Ram Man... but this one has SEPARATE LEGS!!

Justin Bieber is digging his own grave... BelieBe it!

Ok, awful pun, but seriously: Yahoo! has compiled all the crap the Bieber has been through in 2013... He's lacking an upskirt shot and he can join the Has Been club... Starting the Klepto Girl, The Heiress, the Cray cray Mouseketeer, and the Wig Whisperer...

Dude! CHILL the F- UP!! You're making a huge ass out of yourself... At least you have something real to fall on ...Music... even if I dislike it it's better than those who are famous for their rich parents or sex videos...



Well in these cases they're famous for both... Seriously, you're your own worst enemy right now...


well, second worst enemy... cause now you must face James Franco in Bieber Kombat! My Money is on James "Fake Bieber" Franco...

It Came from the Toy Chest: Bitchslapping is magic!

The first of February's Matty Haul has finally been reviewed... The Choppa himself, Jitsu is here!

As you can see in the review, there's a sneak peek at the next figure to be reviewed!

Once again, DST screwed me over...

It started, but since it has "no effect" on MY clock, I don't have to pull one hour ahead... It just means that TV shows are exactly as the same time as in the US East Coast... and I missed a few cartoons today thanks to it... In other news, Now I can buy Matty stuff AT NOON... Well, I would if I could cause Matty is cockblocking Day of Sale folks this months with the Subscribers only Fang-Man... Not complaining, about that, cause I was going to skip him, but it's weird having a Matty free month... It's strangely Liberating... The worst part is that I'll be complaining the same when DST is over...

Also, I've noticed a pattern on the Filmation figures... from the Filmation sub... Most of them have a crappy episode to them... I've seen the Ice Age Cometh and the Great Books Mystery and They are AWFUL!! I mean banging my head to a wall bad...

Wonder what I'll do on my Matty vacation... I think I should get back to do the Jitsu and Ram Man reviews... BEFORE thinking of Matty vacations... They arrived last Thursday!!

I fear the terms "feminism" and "videogames" when they're in the same sentence.

I see that there's a series of feminism vs games series is starting up on Youtube. Not going to link her since her views are slightly skewed and has comments blocked due to "haters" harassing her. Yes, there are some asshats on youtube that will spew tons of hateful crap on the comments section. But I don't believe in blocking comments, because sometimes the dissenting voices MAY have a point... Even if you don't agree with it.

Now back on to the main topic: The Damsel in Distress. She HAS a point that this theme has been overused in videogames. Then again, MOST of the videogames back then had very little character development and relied on well established archetypes instead of a whole backstory for the characters.

My main beef,(based on watching part 1 of her series) is that she will go for the easy targets and whenever something doesn't match her POV she'll gloss over it, or twist it and point out the sexist stuff.
In her first video, she goes through the whole "Peach is a Damsel in distress", but she quickly dismisses the few games where she's had an active role aside the "Damsel in Distress".

Sure, she was kidnapped the first half of Super Mario RPG, but she joins the party and is quite capable of kicking butt! She avoided Super Princess Peach... Which she'll "probably" touch upon on a later episode.

I'm betting that Future Episodes will tackle the Dead or Alive games... and will focus on the bouncy boobs, skimpy outfits, but then again, DOA IS a Sexist videogame series... Would be nice if she actually skipped it, cause let's face it DOA is blatantly sexist...

I mean, look at that intro: the girls are pretty much dancing around or standing on a street corner...(in before prostitute comment) while the male characters are doing something awesome like fighting or avoiding explosions... (OK there's one scene where Tina beats up Zack... a white woman beating up a black man... Racism, much?) and Naked Kasumi... Just one minute before playing the game and I'm already stating all the sexist stuff on it!

Lara Croft will suffer the fate that she'll likely emphasize her boobs and short shorts, but will gloss over her Toughness, resourcefulness, and the fact that she Wielded Excalibur AND Thor's Hammer(something something Godly powers, but Bewbs are Evil!!) I wonder if we'll see some discussion on Lara's newest game which is a total retcon and tells us the story of her first adventure and fight for survival.

And here will come the crux of the dilemma. If they make them pretty OR sexy, it's the game developers being sexist, or pandering to the lowest denominator (Bewbs are kewl! crowd)
If they make a competent female character that is not sexing it up, then "They're making a male character wearing a female skin!!!" So in any way Guys will never win.

It's an interesting series... I agree that females are oversexualized in the game media... But I don't believe that we'll get a fair view from her...

I REALLY fear when we reach the following games:
Tomb Raider
Art of Fighting/Fatal Fury/King of Fighters
Final Fantasy
Metal Gear Solid (Betting that Meryl, Naomi, Mei Ling, Olga, Rose, Fortune and EVA will give her tons of Ammo... I wonder what she'll say about The Boss...)
Grand Theft Auto... This one will be a doozy!

I wonder if she'll tackle the WWE games... which in a way they got better for females by eliminating the Bra and Panties match, but at the same time they got worse, by adding too many limitations for the female characters. (No Rumbles, no First blood matches, hit a girl and you get DQ'd automatically)

I seriously hope that future episodes head over on ways that the sexism in games can be remedied and find ways to make empowering female characters that are appealing for everyone instead of complaining about sexism in games.

Jessie: Worst Disney Channel show... Seriously!

It's been a while since I've dealt with Disney Channel shows... Suite Life and Hannah  Montana ended, so aside the occasional Phineas and Ferb episode, I've avoided that network like the plague. I started rewatching due to a Herbert joke on Family Guy. Yes, I've seen some of the current shows... Dog with a Blog is bad... Shake it up is even worse now that they don't have the Dance Studio... So now the plots end up about CeCe and Rocky's lives (and Tyra Banks as the Librarian... Carlton showed up on an episode... Yeah, That Carlton...) but of all the shows they have THE WORST of them all is:


The show is basically taking The Nanny and butchering it the same way Hannah Montana butchered Jem!

So, Jessie is Pretty Much the same character as Bailey Pickett from Suite Life on Deck... both played by Debby Ryan... Who is trying her luck in New York. She happened to land at the right place at the right time... She may not have style, or flair, but SHE WAS there... That's why she became the Nanny!

So, here's the Sheffields... I mean the Ross Family:
Morgan Ross and Christina Ross are the parents... who have appeared in 4-5 out of 38 Episodes...
That's the first red flag I have with this show. Sure the excuse is that he's a suepr famous movie Director... (Mr. Sheffield was a Theatre Producer) His wife, Christina is a supermodel. They have 4 kids (3 Adopted... shades of Brangelina) Hence their need for a live-in nanny... I'm surprised that they let them adopt kids since they rarely spend any time with them. Seriously. Jessie and Bertram (the Butler) spend more time with the kids THAN THEIR PARENTS...

The children:
Emma: the Biological child. The ditzy, fashionista, bubbly tween...
Luke: The prankster/horny tween. He's always chasing skirts, especially Jessie, who obviously doesn't reciprocate the feelings due to age difference among other things.
Ravi: The Hadji. Seriously, he's there just to play all the "Oh, he's an Indian" due to the culture shock of being recently adopted. All the Indian stereotypes rolled into one kid... He even has a Monitor Lizard as a pet... Cause "He's from India!"
Zuri: The obnoxious, sassy brat (who screams all her lines) and pretty much can get away with anything because she's the youngest.

So, we have a bunch of "terrible Children" Ravi, would be the exception, but sadly he's there just to be a racial stereotype. Jessi's "military child" background comes almost as often as Fran's Jewish heritage... there seems to be a bunch of comparisons to the Nanny, isn't it? Mostly because the show's creator, Pamela Eells, worked on the Nanny and Charles in Charge... so, can you see what I see?

Basically a bad the Nanny clone. Made specifically to promote Debby Ryan. Nothing wrong with promoting Debby... It's just that this show is far worse than I thought.
The plot is a bad copy of the Nanny... The writing for the show is awful, relying on stereotypes  and in Ravi's case, mocking minorities. Doesn't help much that some elements seem far too familiar, due to the show being a Nanny rip-off. But the worst thing in the entire show is that I can't suspend my disbelief long enough to accept the notion that these Irresponsible parents are allowed to adopt, when the process can be a horrible uphill battle for normal people who want to be parents.

I mean, they barely see their kids and hired the first person that the youngest kid saw on the street.



Maybe it's cause she's a Teenage girl who landed on their doorstep that bugs me a little bit. No real background check and she's left in charge with kids that she doesn't even spend that much time with all of them... Honestly, she spends more time with Zuri than any of the other 3 and even then, she still manages to misplace Zuri...

The concept is good, it's the execution what I find lacking... Shame... Also, I wish they had the parents more often instead of being pretty much special guest stars.

Breaking Fail: Popcorn Flinging Edition

I know I have to go through the other two movies, but I'm perplexed... This is the Worst book of the series. BDp1. is THE WORST TWILIGHT MOVIE, I've seen. Stretched too much just to divide the book in 2. I saw the movie twice... Once when I got part 1 and the second time for part 2.
Seriously, it's like watching paint dry. Poison Fairy C-section was a disappointment
Part 2, which is the worst part of the books where Bella becomes full Mary Sue and they talk to the Volturi... Also Furry pedo! Well, I'm shocked! I ACTUALLY LIKED BDp2. for real... It actually polished the turdiest part of the book and made it awesome... Not to mention the freaky deaky deviation from the source Material to wake up the Males from the Estrogen induced coma.

Bella is based on her...

So let's start with Part 1: A Vampire Wedding.
Bella and Edward get married.

They have sex... no nudity... Edward finally scored! Aaaand enter the stupidity! The Dead dude's chowder was still functional and he impregnated the Mary Sue... The wolves fear the demon spawn. So Jacob becomes a lone wolf and gets 2 wolfy sidekicks.

Bella is dying cause of her stupidity and thanks to a snide comment from Jacob, she begins drinking blood for the baby. This helps her until she goes into labor and Edward gives her a C-Section with his teeth... Sadly, the best scene from the entire book is made a lot less gruesome cause of Girl Audiences... Seriously, the perfect chance to make this awesome was glossed over. And the movie ends with Vampire Bella awakening.

The movie is awfully boring and it flows like Molasses. When I've had to rewatch the movie, I need to watch it in pieces... (had to rewatch it a third time to complete this rant...) I nearly dozed off 3 times. Roughly every 40 minutes I had to stop before I dozed off.

Now for Part 2: Mary Sue Powers Activate!
So Bella wakes up as a newborn vampire. she's like the Wolverine of Vampires. Stronger than Emmet, Faster than Eddiekins, can control her hunger in mid-hunt... Hell, she even beat nemesis... Ooops! sorry wrong Mary Sue, but you get the idea. The Volturi find out about Renesmee and they come to kill her and most of the Cullens too. The Cullens raise an army and they talk about their feelings and some other lame Romantic Movie-esque final scene... Until Mr. Condon  says Screw the Book! and he gives us ACTION!

Of course, this ass-kicking scene is not canon... It's just a cheap cop-out, cause the talking it out ending is still there, but this gives the movie the very needed shot of testosterone to wake males up!
and it wants desperately to beat the crap out of Eclipse as the best Twilight Movie.

Now if I were tor rate the movies: Breaking Dawn pt.1 gets a 1.5 out of 5.
Pt.2 gets a 3.5 out of 5. 

The biggest flaws for the movies are the plot. which is mostly the cause for the lost points. If the movie bores me to sleep, then it's not doing a great job. Part II (based on the worst part of the worst book) scored higher, because the Volturi threat was ramped up. I kinda notice a pattern here. the movies where there's a big threat looming seem to rate higher next to the ones that don't have it...

Laird is against the TAINT... not really news.

But he believes that Megan Fox is not the best choice for April. which is really a no-brainer...
Dammit, Universe! Why do you hate TMNT!? Seriously, me agreeing with Peter Laird... What's next, Me Agreeing with that jerkwad Joe Quesada?

Please, somebody stop the TAINT Abomination!!

you can mess with your boobs all you want, you're still not April!

Seriously, only the people involved with this believe that it's going to be good... Everyone else see the pieces and can only see one outcome: TOTAL FAILURE... Let's stop the Failure before the Turtles end up in a position WORSE than He-Man!

The Topangaborn has an older sibling!

Theo Halm has joined the Girl Meets World cast... The show's production starts this month and later this year, hopefully we'll have a greay show in our hands! Also I hope he's not an "Eric Matthews: Later seasons version"

In any case it's becoming a reality... More TOPANGA!! More Cory... and again, I hope the show doesn't get Disneyfied...

The controversial Venezuelan Leader, Hugo Chavez has passed away... His Mentor, Castro Outlived him... Is Fidel Castro Immortal?



Geena Davis can be added to the list of butt-hurt people with Seth MacFarlane's song... So... there it is... Seth MacFarlane did make these Academy Awards pretty popular.

This is almost like the craziest thing I've heard in a while. A Fake Bishop almost infiltrated a Papale election meeting at the Vatican. That's crazy awesome... He just wore clothing items similar enough to actual bishop clothing. He only got caught because the costume wasn't 100% accurate. This is Ridiculous... Almost Cartoon level of ridiculousness!

Justin Bieber is the new Axl Rose... No, really! Pissing fans off and showing up late... all he needs is to release some disappointing music...

Cause Screw you Bieber!

Club Filmation: Great idea, bad timing

Mattel released a sub that it's window closed down on 3/4/13 with 6 Filmation releases.
I already talked about them, Batros, Shokoti and Icer.

If this belongs who I think it does, Bow's gonna be pissed.

In a ploy to push the subs, Mattel tossed in that little sword as a hint of who's coming.
If that sword DOES belong to Sea Hawk, then Mattel's actions are a dick move... I can see why they did it, but that doesn't stop it form being a dick move. It's Shadow Weaver all over again.

That means I MAY have to hunt the reseller market for the Pirate... Arrrgh!
and that IS NOT my biggest issue. (well it's the biggest issue that has a negative effect on me since I'm not ordering a Grayskull.) As I mentioned in my parenthesis note. Grayskull... I'm not sure, but Mattel DID scale back 2013 in order to make Castle Grayskull slightly more affordable for customers. also they DID say that no other sub-line like the 30th Anniversary would be made. 

 SURPRISE!!

Unless you're a Club Eternia Subscriber, (or any of the other Matty subs. Only mentioning CE cause of MOTUC) Club Filmation, screws you with Double shipping. DoS stuff (if available, cause Mattel now wants to go sub-only and hates new customers, or those who can't take a "yearly toy contract".) will not be able to be combined with your subscription shipping. So, the Early access perk they talk about comes with double shipping. an extra kick in the gonads if you're an International customer.

My main issue is that Mattel is starting to oversaturate the line. Kinda like Toy Biz did before Marvel Legends became a Hasbro Toyline.

As a DoS customer, I'm being punished for not having enough secured disposable income to subscribe... 2012 was a bit saturated, but even then it doesn't compare with 2013.

(2012 items adjusted for 2013 subscriber costs vs actual 2012 subscriber costs)
$425 17 figures (12 monthly, 4 variants, sub exclusive) vs $340 in 2012
$150 (30th sub) vs $120 in 2012
$210 (Large scale items) vs $170 in 2012
_____________
$785 ($865 w/Granamyr)+ Shipping vs $630 ($710 w/Granamyr) in 2012+ shipping

(2013 subscriber costs)
$325 (12 + Sub exclusive)
$180 (beasts and variants)
$250 or $275(grayskull preorder)
$150 (Club Filmation)
_________
$905 or $930 + Shipping... ($755 or $780, depending on when you preordered Grayskull WITHOUT the Filmation sub)

Even with the price adjusted to 2013 prices, 2012 was still cheaper. Didn't they say something about reducing the amount of SKUs due to Grayskull? That filmation sub kinda throws a wrench into that plan... If the Filmation sub wasn't there, ordering the sub + Grayskull would have been a bit more manageable for some. It's basically forcing those with more limited toy budgets to choose either or. Forcing customers to "either or" scenarios doesn't seem like a sound idea to me.

It leaves money on the table. Money that Mattel is not getting since the DoS guys are being forced to go through resellers. Hell! For Sea Hawk I know a few people who don't like Filmation characters who'd like to get one. Not to mention subscribers that would like a few extras.

Club Filmation should have been a 12 figure + Exclusive Figure subscription for 2014. No Castles diverting toy budget from them!  Come on, Castle Grayskull costs at least 10 Subscription figures!

I really don't get it... But in any case the sub isn't for me either. I only truly want Sea Hawk, I want Shokoti, would like a Batros, even if it's just to make a God damned Batman joke... Icer can freeze in Hell, and Plundor? (who's very likely to show up...) Screw the Pink bunny!

So, long story short:
Mattel is starting to oversaturate the line and it could backfire come 2014 sub time... a serious chunk of the customer base has been left with a bad taste in their mouths after the reveal of Castle Grayskull and the "Punishment of the Non-subscribers" or Subscribers who buy extra figures of certain characters. And I still don't have Glimmer!

what happens to a Toad when Struck by Lightning?

Halle Berry returns as Storm for X-Men: Days of Future Past... No, really... Apparently, Katniss, Mr. Tumnus, David the crazy robot, and Jack the Giant Slayer will be the ones from the Past segment...
Juno, Sookie, Crappy Catwoman, Real Steel, Gandalf and Jean Luc Picard will be the present day X-Men! And Animorph's dude comes back as Iceman!

Lamest line delivery ever!!

Don't stop, Beliebers! Cause they messed up Bieber's 19th Birthday... Well, It's Bieber's fault for having  an entourage with underage folks while having the party at a bar... The Law is the law...

and not even Bieber can break it...

I think that Ms. Lohan should learn to lay low and avoid trouble. She might even face Jail time cause of a past issue (the car accident) and something about violating the probation of her 2011 theft issue... She really NEEDS to lay low... preferably outside a jail cell. It's a shame that now she's only known for  getting in trouble with The Law...

I used the Karl Urban one for a change...


More people butthurt about Seth MacFarlane and the Academy Awards... Seriously, CHILDREN WATCH THE ACADEMY AWARDS? Are these guys confusing the Academy Awards with the Nick Choice Awards?

Teenage Alien Invader Ninja Turtles delayed... and other stuff!

Apparently the TAINT are afraid of Gojira! I don't blame them... I mean this movie has all the ingredients to become a POS so bad that It could Make Dragon Freaking Ball Evolution and Street Fighter: the Legend of Lana Lang be awesome.

So in order to celebrate here's a list of Characters that I'd like to see in the extremely Entertaining TMNT cartoon from Nickelodeon that are NOT Rocksteady and Bebop... Cause those are a given... I'm still mad that they made "Chuck Norris" into Dogpound. I mean, they had a "CHUCK NORRIS" that was evil and they turned him into a DOG!! OK so here's the list of folks I'd like to see that are not Rocksteady and Bebop:


Miyamoto Usagi (From Usagi Yojimbo) while not a TMNT character per se. Usagi HAS done a few Crossovers with the TMNT. He WAS on both 1980s and 2002 toylines.

Fly Baxter Stockman... Even if they use a different character, I just want the humanoid Fly!

PizzaFace... I mean come on! It's like a Pirate Pizza chef... The dude is apparently half-Man, half-Pizza... Most disturbing enemy especially for Mikey!

The following 4 is just a crazy idea: Kinda like the 80s toon did with the frogs, but with 4 EVIL Turtles:
Slash, Venus, Tokka, and Hun (mutated Turtles Forever look)

Mutagen Man would be a nice character as well

Chrome Dome, Dirtbag and Groundchuck would be 3 evil characters full of cool!

All of this is more interesting that watching TAINT!

I got a little voicemail the receptionist got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in BelAir

Wait, WHaT? The Fresh Prince theme caused a massive lockdown on Pennsylvania. Cause some kid had a voicemail with the lyrics: "shooting some b-ball" outside of school" when a receptionist called for an appointment she thought that it was something else and caused the massive lockdown on Beaver, Pa.'s schools... Probably she misheard it as shooting some (expletive, possibly the infamous N-Word that refers to black people, that if Samuel M'effin' Jackson asks me to say it, I'll be forced to say it...) outside of school...

I mean a WILL SMITH song being such a bad influence? The only way bad influence and Will Smith can be used in the same sentence involves his son Jaden and remakes of beloved 80s movies.

In order to cancel some of THAT stupidity, here's some awesomeness!

Cause Carlton Banks is THAT effin' awesome!

Hanoi Jane slams Seth MacFarlane's song...

Ms. Exercise Video/Viet Cong supporter seems to have forgotten what humor was. Yes, it was a bit crude and tasteless, but HELLO! That's why they brought in Seth MacFarlane in. I wonder if her film career is free of nudity...

"What I really didn't like was the song and dance number about seeing actresses boobs. I agree with someone who said, 'If they want to stoop to that, why not list all the penises we've seen?' Better yet, remember that this is a telecast seen around the world watched by families with their children and to many this is neither appropriate or funny," Fonda wrote. "I also didn’t like the remark made about (Quvenzhane Wallis and George Clooney), or the stuff out of Ted's mouth and all the comments about what women do to get thin for their dresses. Way too much stuff about women and bodies, as though that's what defines us."

Said the woman who's been releasing Exercise videos since 1982...  Hypocrite much?

Now the whole "boobs shown during rape scenes" argument kinda defeats itself with the following fact:

The Actresses are NOT being raped on film. They are pretending to be raped because they're actresses who, not only agreed to show their boobs, but agreed to pretend to be raped while being filmed.



There you go, Hanoi Jane, a Penis based song. I'm being a bit generous to someone who doesn't deserve it... 

Disgusting...

She needs to lighten up... Just a little bit... not too much or else she'll start hanging out with Al-Qaeda...

Science has discovered the origin of метеор

And it's not the Black Materia...


So you can take your One Winged Angel and shove it...

Apparently the Meteor came from the Asteroid belt beyond Mars... and not related to the other asteroid... Cosmic Coincidence they call it. Interesting, but hard to believe for normal folks...

Dog shoots man...

Not that Dog... and I'm not talking about Christian Bale's batman voice either... I'm talking about the animal a dog that shot a man in Florida after it kicked a gun that wasn't as unloaded as the guy thought... He shouldn't be so careless with his gun!

Like this guy!

At least the Titanic II guy had the decency of not calling Titanic II Unsinkable... We know how well that went...

We saw her boobs and then he died! Still, making an actual ship and calling it Titanic II seems to be tempting fate a bit too much...

Oreo Separator? It splits the cookies from the creme? What kind of sorcery is this?

It's almost like Eating Oreos: Mythbusters style...

Spider-Douche has gotten itself a Norman Osborn! It's Chris Cooper (American Beauty, The Muppets, Remember Me)... So now we have Electro, Rhino and an upcoming Green Goblin... but the worst news is that Mary Jane looks to Mary Plain...

Not fair for MJ, then again the Previous MJ wasn't Amazing... Talking about the Jumanji screamer...