it came from the... MYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Oh no you won't ruin my introduction you rambling boob! Only I, Skeletor, overlord of Evil will introduce myself!


Well, that's Skeletor for ya! you ARE at the House of Rants, where 50-75% of the posts are He-Man Related... or bitching about Mattel's incompetence in an exaggerated manner for comedic effect. (If Mattel didn't goof up, I wouldn't have stuff to complain about...) Every once in a while, I poke more holes in ♠'s arguments than a gold digger pokes holes in a rich old man's condom... But back to Skeletor... He really doesn't need an introduction. But here's Skeletor in a nutshell:
Evil dude wants to enter Castle Grayskull and steal its secrets. Constantly stopped by He-Man.
Since I have the Filmation He-Man, I kinda needed a Filmation Skeletor. Let's get cracking with the review!

Articulation:
If you have the Filmation He-Man, then you have an idea on Skeletor's articulation. Instead of a Sword/Havoc Staff aloft right hand, he gets a normal hinged right hand that can make spellcasting poses a bit better than his Classics Counterpart.
The ankles... Well here we have an issue. Apparently a mid production change in Skeletor's ankles happened. Some got the horrible He-Man ankles with the gap. Others received a fixed ankle. I'm one of the latter.
5.0

Paint and sculpt:
It's no secret that I dislike the new direction for this sub-line. This stems mostly out of the Brandon Sopinsky's half-assed effort at Filmation accuracy. Worst offender so far: Trap Jaw, which I skipped.

No blu tac or camera tricks here.

Skeletor is VERY Accurate to Filmation, save the slightly bulkier Classics buck. I mean, THAT HEAD!! Sadly, some of the problems that we had with He-Man still show up here. Like the boots being too thin and makes a "Muffin top" effect on the boots (more noticeable on the back) Another issue, minor issue, but still an issue. The purples don't match Classics Skeletor. That means you can't pop the Filmation head on the MOTUC Skeletor WITHOUT repainting the hood.
4.5

Accessories:

He has the Havoc Staff... for obvious reasons and a Sword from the Vintage Mini Comics... You can of course give him the sword from Lizardman, or the Ax from Plundor. But it's kind of weird getting a MINI COMICS Item from a "100% filmation" figure, on a "Exclusively filmation" sub-line. Why not a second head like the one from The Dragon's Gift. I have to complain about the Havoc staff... it's too damn tall! 3.5


Overall:
Skeletor gets a 4.33 I like Skeletor much better than He-Man, but I am still underwhelmed by the Filmation half-assed line. Had they gone ALL THE WAY in making them TRULY Filmation and ignoring the pseudo compatibility with Classics (Though Skeletor fits a bit better than He-Man...) I might have been more excited for them... Again, I'll use the BTAS Batman figure analogy. TDKR Upper body on a DCUC set of legs a BTAS Batman does not make. I'm glad the ankles were fixed on Skeletor. but aside Evil Lyn, just to match Point Dreadful Teela, this whole line is a skip for me... No signs of Chokey on the Friendly Neighborhood Asian Sellers sites, so I can't get him... (TBH I want him more to make a Sebrian Custom than for keeping Chokey himself.) On the other hand the coming of Skeletor allows us to do something VERY INSANE... I mean Super duper crazy insane...

you know you want
one of these...

 a Filmation Looking FAKER!! No, not He-Man with GITD eyes... I mean a REAL FAKER!!

But if you have all three Figures (He-Man, Trap Jaw and Skeletor) you're in for a treat! Put those three boxes together and there you have a Filmation Grayskull! (I bought a second Skeletor to customize...)

UPDATE!!

Behold the Custom: filmationized Keldor... Now I need a Third Party cast of his head and reduce hair details for him to be truly Filmation!! Nah, just kidding. My Classics Keldor will be sporting the Melty Face cast from some time ago... Meaning to get a Horde Armor for him, but logistics... This Keldor will be on display if/when Snake Mtn. shows up as a statue on Evil Lyn's room.

Wait, there's a Worst Witch Remake?

I remember the 90s series, mostly due to my younger brother who watched it...

Listening to the intro to the show gave me goosebumps and flashbacks to a simpler time.
And there even was a 1986 Movie with Tim Curry... Yup, I'm having flashbacks again!

Well, there's a 21st Century remake coming... for the Worst Witch, not Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad...
Now, I'm guessing my younger brother would not be interested in this... Wonder if he'll kill me if I make a reference to this? OR Superhuman Samurai... Well we did joke about Matthew Lawrence every time he showed up in Boy Meets World... so there's that.

Wonder how many kids today will call it a Harry Potter rip-off...

Arkham Remastered Game delayed... damn!

If you haven't played Arkham City or Asylum and you only have a PS4 or an Xbox One... I'm afraid I have some bad news!

The game has been delayed.  This sucks since the game was basically a PS4/XBOne GOTY versions of Asylum and City.

Now the delays are supposedly to make sure we get the best upgrades to the game and that is polished.


No release date on the horizon so now we wait... it better not get cancelled.

A Twilight, Sparkle of hope for the He-Man movie?

Kellan Lutz has been campaigning to be He-Man for quite some time... The oldest reference to Kellan Lutz and He-Man I could find on the House of Rants dates 2010... Well, he met up with McG to talk He-Man...

I'm freaking out right now... I Despise McG... I see him as another Bay Knock-Off. I feel like Mattel (and SONY) are trying to make He-Man fail cosmically!

On the Other Hand, I see some potential in Lutz... but only as He-Man... He's too old to play Adam, especially in an origin story.

Yes, everyone and their mothers will bring Twilight Saga as an argument against Lutz.
I'm more worried about McG...
Here's my Mantra regarding McG and the MOTU movie.

Wonder if this movie will allow us to get "MOTUC styled" versions of the movie characters as a Mattycollector only line vs the retail line for the kids...

Odds and ends Jun 27, 2016

Fox, what the Hell is this?

That's actually pretty cool! In fact, I'd be up to rebuy ALL the X-Men movies if they came with a  Deadpool commentary track. Can you picture Ryan Reynolds doing a Deadpool Commentary track ESPECIALLY on X-Men Origins: Wolverine...

Freaking DO IT, NETFLIX!!! Get a team assembled to do a Young Justice Season 3 (and hopefully more) Cause I've been rewatching Young Justice for these past few days and I gotta say, it Freaking Rocks and I'm once again pissed off at the Morons at Cartoon Network for axing it! there have been rumors of it happening... Well, as Captain Picard would say...


So now there's a rumor of a Fox/Marvel crossover... Yeah... Highly unlikely. I mean, it COULD HAPPEN, seeing that we've seen Spidey on the MCU. Thing is: What does Fox have that Marvel could use properly?

That's about it...

Yeah... no.

Blame this dickweed for the disaster
that was Trankt4stic 

Right now Fantastic Four is Film Poison... Mostly Fox's fault, but a lot of the blame falls in Josh Trank's lap as well.

So, X-Men... We have this messy timeline that has the Older cast pretty much eliminated (Hugh Jackman, Famke Jansen, James Mardsen, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen) while we have the younger cast from the "1980s" (Sansa Stark, Mr. Tumnus, Hugh Jackman, Nu McGyver, The Robot from Prometheus) While the MCU is in 2015-ish... How do we Crossover? We can't even use the Pre-Trank Fantastic Four seeing what happened to the Pre-Trank Human Torch...

Whoops! Wrong clip!

This would have to be a super ultra mega reboot... kinda makes me feel bad for the new X-Men cast... Also where would this leave Deadpool?

How many MOTUC missing characters only need a new head/armor?

After discovering the possibility of Caz being Doable in MOTUC, I decided to look back on other missing characters that are only a Head and Armor (or dress) away from existing in Classics Form.

Let's find out Some of them... Because I may not figure ALL of them out! so far it seems to be A LOT!!

Ileena:
Remember the Episode: A Friend In Need? Well, she's from there...

As you can see here, a Classics approximation would use BP she-Ra's Skirt on the Battleground Teela Torso with the Adora forearms. The Female 1.0 legs and Adora's boots with She-Ra's feet complete the look. The only new pieces would be head and Bra...






Kayo:
I don't think I need to add a pic or introduction to Kayo, since he's a popular guy here at the house of rants... even if it's to be the polar opposite of You-Know-Who...(♠) but I added one just in case!
I've already mentioned that Blast Attack's Arms, Flipshot's Crotch, Hordak Abs, Geldor's shins and Snout Spout's feet give us a classicized body. All we'd need is head and Armor (and weapons)






Lodar:
Another One who is basically a Head and Armor. Heck We even have his weapon ready from either SLL, or the Castle Grayskull Mace.

Also, more Mini comic love!






Songster:
It's not a House of Rants Random List if I don't push Songster... or Josh, or Melaktha on a list!
I've already given a recipe for him, but with the newer parts available, I can Upgrade his biceps to Eldor, worst case scenario reuse Man-E-faces Shoulders (just to have the shoulderpads there)
But he's simply new top of his outfit (cape attached to the top) and a new head. Forearms we can use Bow's or Filmation He-Man's

Spinwit:
Yes, another Galactic Protector... Aside Artilla and Sagitar, most of these guys are super easy to do!
Look at him! We pretty much have all the pieces needed to make him.
I see Trap Jaw boots (blegh!) Sy-Klone Crotch, NA He-Man bracers on the normal body... Maybe Hordak Abs and all we need is head, armor, and weapons (The "wings" would be weapons)





Melaktha:
Again, It wouldn't be a House of Rants list without finding a way to sneak in the Archaeologist of Eternos in... I won't bore you with the details... I already made a rant for that. But he's basically a new shirt and head. (flipshot's crotch in a worst case scenario thing.)

Butthead:
No, not that one, buttmunch! I mean the Space Mutant... No Simpsons reference!
All we need is the head, Armor and weapon.
Roboto Shoulders, Normal biceps, Laser He-Man Forearms and hands
NA Skeletor Thighs and Trap Jaw Lower legs and feet (blegh!). For the Extending Neck... Mekaneck.





Etherian Rebel Josh:
Oh deary My! I can't seem to find a Josh Pic!
But! He's Basically a new head! Adam Tunic, Hordak Forearms with normal hands to create a "male version" of Adora's bracers. Normal Body with Dekker Boots and Plundor's Loincloth...

Prince Dakon:
From the same Mini Comic that gave us Geldor, we have Prince Dakon... He pretty much is a New Head and Armor, seeing that his Loincloth could be Kobra Khan's Man-e-Faces, or Hydron's
The boots would be Geldor's and everything else comes from the normal body.



Nocturna:
Another one who is rather easy to do as well... Galactic Protectors can really reuse parts!
Mostly out of the normal Buck. Blade's left thigh to give him some webgear. Geldor's shin and Blast Attack's boot complete his lower body with Flipshot's crotch. For the forearms, Laser He-Man's with NA He-Man's hands. Then he's a new head and shirt with bandolier.


Skeletor's Bone Warrior: (200X)
This one is pretty much new Head and Armor.
The Loincloth seems a bit hard, but Evil Seed's can work. Paint the vines bone colored and it helps give his body a slightly unnatural shape. Add Ceratus' lower legs with Demo-Man feet, Kobra Khan Forearms and Demo-Man Hands complete the look. a 100% New Sculpt would be welcome, but We
CAN get away with a reasonable facsimile while reusing parts.

Horde Troopers: (200X, More Organic Looking Troopers)
I know I made a rant about this many moons ago. I even made a crude drawing of them needing only a new head. But He could use a New Head and Armor. Everything else would be made out of reused parts (Horde boots, the Evil finned Arms, Geldor Loincloth, Cy-chop Belt)



Marzo's Chimera:
I often fall back on Chimera (v2) as a character with VERY LOW amount of new tooling needed. Mostly because it gives Marzo a lackey and it's a "Tooling budget saver" for Mattel. He's pretty much a new head and new shins to substitute the lack of new armor... Almost cheating, but we could use Sea Hawk's as a kind of inaccurate approximation. He's basically wearing a Demo-Man Tunic/loincloth repaint with Goatman's bracers just to reuse those suckers.

Delora:
I know what you're thinking: Am I Insane!? Delora needs too many pieces to be made!?
She's a new head (2 new Hairpieces to have Hawke AND Delora), new Top and 2 clip-on wings. (count as accessories as well...) Everything else is parts reuse. Sorceress Forearms with painted Red Band (to mask the slight gap on the C-Clip for her wings) Her Crotch cover is Glimmer's, her Thighs are Entrapta's with Frosta's shins and She-Ra boots on the Fembuck 2.0

Releasing Hawke and Delora in a 2 for 1 allows for another character to have a slot that would be lost to the second Avionian Lady.



Garn: (Filmation Look)
Mentioned him a few rants before. Now with the Oo-Larr Feet, we have a closer approximation to a true Filmation Garn... But let's face it: Mattel will give him boots like they did to Nepthu. He's basically a new head and Harness... Speaking of Nepthu, he SHARES some parts with the T.U.R.D.
Biceps, Neck Piece are Nepthu's. The Loincloth and Forearms are Vikor's (They give him some personality.) The Shins are Sea Hawk's and the feet either Oo-Larr or Keldor. The Weapon would be the SLL or Castle Grayskull Mace, so there isn't too many new pieces for him...

Staghorn:
New Head and Torso Armor on the Normal buck.
Shoulders are MEF, Biceps are Eldor's, Icarius Forearms with Demo-Man hands. For the legs we have Icatrius Crotch, Darius Thighs, Trap Jaw Shins with the Batros boot and Trap Jaw feet... I hate to reuse Trap Jaw stuff but here they work.

Then all we need is the new head and armor to complete him (and the weapon.)

Lizorr:
New Head and Armor is all we need on him... Really.
Start with the Scaley Torso and Kobra Khan Loincloth. Add King Hssss Shoulders, normal biceps with Goatman Bracers and Demo-Man hands.
Then for the Legs go For Darius' thighs with the Trap Jaw Lower Leg and Duck Feet.

Boom! Another NA Character without breaking the Tooling Budget!




Top of my head 17 Characters...
I know two of them are army builders from 200X. If I wanted to pad this list I could have added Generic Snake Men. With the parts we already have we could make over 10 different Snakemen Requiring 2 New parts or less. Then adding Variants like NA Adam, 200X Roboto, etc. Or other army builders like generic Avionians, Andreeninds, Caligars, etc.

Point is that a little bit over 2 6-figure subs can be easily filled with characters requiring very little new tooling is possible. Classics could easily last a few more years if Mattel puts their head in the game.

Let's talk Chu's silly She-Ra list, shall we?

This is SHE-RA

I had faith in Chu, many years ago... Then came Jem and he disappointed me so badly that made me glad he jumped ship from MOTU a long time ago. Supposedly, he gave an interview to deadline talking about She-Ra... I went to Deadline and saw nothing about it.



First on his list: Amber Heard... And this is the part where I mention that the only thing I've heard about her is that she's claiming that Johnny Depp physically abused her.
And... She's 30. Also, to be fair, she'll be playing AquaMomoa's wife in AquaMomoa


Second on his list:
Blake Lively... Wait wasn't she in that crappy movie with Ryan Reynolds? You know the Hot Wheels Commercial one!!
She's 29...

Third on his list:
Tabrett Bethell... Who? No idea who she is... She's Aussie and 34.

Fourth is Jessica Biel... Aw Hell Naw!! Did I mention that I don't like Jessica Biel? Just seeing her name gives me Blade Trinity Flashbacks... 34 years of Seventh Heaven Flashbacks...

Fifth:
Lizzy Caplan: OK she was on Mean Girls, True Blood, Cloverfield and her age is 34... she could pull off an Older Glimmer if Amanda Seyfried isn't available to do so.

Sixth: Really? Priyanka Chopra... Are we trying to appease SJWs with She-Ra? She'll be on Baywatch... So I've seen her in nothing. Also, She's 33... Soon turning 34. Not to mention that She doesn't look ANYTHING LIKE SHE-RA!!! She could pull off an Entrapta or maybe Catra, but not She-Ra.

Seventh: Paula Patton? Really? She was in Déjà vu... MI:GP... Also She's 40!? But she doesn't look anything like She-Ra.

This list is absolute Bull Crap! I know some Social Justice Whiners are going to call me Ageist for pointing out the Actresses ages... There is a reason for that. Adora is 19-20 when she becomes She-Ra. The Actresses being Looked at are mostly in their 30s. For Adora/She-Ra they should be looking at females in their mid 20s. Also, A He-Man movie hasn't been Greenlit; why are they starting on the Post Third Movie Spin-Off? So, let's assume they start filming in 2017... Some of these actresses will be 35 during filming, then the post-production time and the movie will hit by the time they're almost 36. Then by the time they finish the sequel they'll be almost 38... a 19-20 year old being played by a nearly 40 year old... it's 90210 creepy.


Now more importantly, WHY ARE WE EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO SOMETHING THAT JON M. CHU "SAID"... I mean this is the same Chu that gave us JEM...

It Came from the Toy chest: Another Poll Loser coming up! Space Randor!!

My Despara better come
with a Darius sign!

I am talking of Darius, of course. Remember Toyguru's skewed New Adventures poll? The one where Mara won?

Who is Despara!? Holy Crap! I had an error card!! So sorry that I had to open him... I'm not a MOC dude!! I had to get him out of there seeing he didn't have a massively screwed up face... There had been some figures whose face is FUBAR.

Mine had a decent face... It's only that the hair color looked too much like Fisto, so I decided to give him a slight makeover!

Stock head

Repainted head

Just used 2 shades of light brown and hwite. Now Darius Pops a bit better...
I'm talking about the tweak before I get into the review part to point it out on why YOUR DARIUS doesn't look like mine, just in case...

Now WHO IS DARIUS?
He's a Prototype that did not make it into an actual figure that was sold during the late 80s-early 90s Experimental era in Space... The era where He-Man wore skinny jeans and a ponytail... The New Adventures. Darius was basically the Charles Xavier of the Galactic Protectors... Hydron being Cyclops and Flipshot being Storm... kinda. Then for the Cartoon we got Master Sebrian who basically replaced Darius. This is where the Neitlichverse Bios are sorely missing. sure most of them were atrocious... Bow's bio being mostly about how he is totally NOT GAY is an example. Here's what New Matty has to say about Darius:

5 Things to Know About Darius™
AKA: Leader of the Galactic Protectors™Known For: New AdventuresPowers: Space engineering, leadership abilitiesAssociates: Hydron™, Icarius™Favorite Bumper Sticker: “My other vehicle is a starship”

Yup! It tells you NOTHING!! So, in my best SuperkamiToyguru impression here's my Darius Bio!!

Real Name: Darius Arcturus Sebrian

Son of the Planetary Councilman Sebrian, the Wise and leader of the Galactic Protector Initiative, Darius has Primus' biggest responsibility on his shoulders; to defend his people from the Space Mutants. He, with the assistance of Hydron and Icarius recruited He-Man and She-Ra for the war to save Primus from the Horde and Skeletor. More often than not, Darius would take Solo Missions to thwart the Horde, while He-Man and She-Ra tackled Skeletor and the Mutants. Once peace among Primus and Denebria was reached, Darius focused his attentions to help the Denebrians. Darius swings into action with his Electro Mace and strong sense of Justice.

So, now that we know who he is and a complementary Bio, not penned by the Guru, but by the "Destroyer of MOTUC"... Let's get cracking with the Review:

Articulation:
BRANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!! Yup! Brandon Sopinsky pulled a Ruben here. Remember the Horrible He-Man Ankles on Filmation He-Man? Brandon brought them to Darius and RUINED THE TRAP JAW FOOT!! The Added Articulation is nice, except it looks like he's wearing prosthetic feet due to the massive gap in his ankles!! The gap is only noticeable on the sides.

 He has the Bow Forearms with additional Wrist Articulation... which helps for this:


Another small issue is that due to his sculpt and semi rigid crotch cover, he cannot sit properly.
4.5
Paint and sculpt:
The sculpt is pretty neat! The New parts look awesome... Those thighs could have some potential... Just need to figure out WHO could use them as well. The clever usage of Trap Jaw biceps was cool! The only thing that ruins his sculpt is the new Ankle Articulation applied wrongly.
The paint applications were nice. no slop on mine aside my custom lightening of his hair.
4.5
Accessories:
Removable Cape
Tetherball
Oversized Mega Man Helmet
Shield
4.0

Overall:

4.33 for Mr. Darius. The tetherball's rope being
hard plastic kinda ruins it for me. It's good for displaying but it feels like the weight of the ball will break the cheap looking "rope". The improperly made Ankle Articulation kinda ruins his look. The Oversized Megaman Helmet looks cheap as Hell. That is why 2 heads are preferred over Removable Helmets. It makes Helmets look normal sized WITHOUT having to shrink the head.

You thought GB Reboot was bad? I got an even WORSE ONE...

In the words of the Immortal Samuel L. Jackson:

There is a WORSE REBOOT Coming:

Yup! Death Wish is getting a Reboot... Directed by Eli Roth... and Starring:

Bruce Willis...

I think this is worse for a couple of reasons:

-Reboots tend to suck: We've seen it before "Amazing" Spider-Man, Total Recall, Robocop, Trankt4stic, Ghostbusters... (You know the jab was coming)

-We're in a too PC world where movies like this are frowned upon... Hell, Most of Mel Brooks' greatest movies would be undoable in this era.

-Eli Roth: He's more of the Horror movie kind of guy and this gritty Revenge story seems to be a bit too far from his comfort zone.

-Bruce Willis: Now don't get me wrong, he COULD Pull it off, but it still worries me. A small part of me feels that having John McClane becoming into a Paul Kersey imitation is as wrong as having Jason Statham becoming Chuck Norris in a theoretical Invasion USA reboot.

In any case this is happening... Now if we could get an American Ninja Reboot so I can bitch and moan some more!!

Beware the Newest GB Cartoon, 2016 movie... You have become obsolete!

Before all 4 supporters of this cinematic Turd... It reeks just like Jem, Trakt4stic, and Dragon Ball: Evolution, so can it with the whole "you haven't seen it yet, why are you judging it you sexist Trump supporting Virgin  who will never score!" BS.

The movie IS going to be bad: What else confirms this? The Cartoon Spin-Off.
Ghostbusters: Ecto-Force set in 2050 with a NEW TEAM of Busters... Not to mention the "Second Male driven movie". When SONY has to push these other GB Projects with no real affiliation to Paul Feig's movie SHOWS that they are very wary of that film but they can't simply back down.

Last Ghostbusters cartoon was a Follow-up to the Previous Ghostbusters cartoon, which was a follow-up to the 1984 movie. This "Ecto force" distanced itself from the Movie by 34 years. THAT'S HOW BAD THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO BE. It's not misogyny or racism to point out that even SONY themselves are covering their collective asses because of this movie.

I'm aware that people who like Melissa McCarthy will flock to this movie... (I still don't find her funny and I like Fart Jokes) SOME Feminists will go see it to punch the patriarchy in the dick. Most will not since they are more often than not armchair outrage manufacturers. Some misguided GB fans will go in to support the brand. so it'll make some money the first week. The question is: Will it get a massive BvS drop?  Will it be good? I'm trying my best to do a James Rolfe and REFUSE TO WATCH... but I saw Dragon Ball: Evolution, Trankt4stic, Street fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, not at the theaters, but watched them nonetheless, and I saw Jem at the movie theater... So, I could cave in...

I want to say that I'll eat crow, like it partially happened with MARTHA!!: The Movie, but I don't find McCarthy or Jones funny. This is important since those two are the ones delivering most of the "funny lines" in the trailer. Reboots tend to be worse than the original and that makes them feel inferior (or trying too hard) but if I were to watch it and happen to enjoy it, I'll eat crow! Highly unlikely based on what I've seen. Will you, dumbasses who defend this turd, be willing to eat crow and admit it's awful if it IS awful?

Odds and ends June 20, 2016

I'm afraid I must start with some Horrible News:
Anton Yelchin, the Star Trek Reboot's Chekov has passed away in a freak car accident. People dying really sucks, especially when they are victims to an accident. Getting pinned by his own car... damn!




Screw the Olsen Douches! Fuller House will keep going on without them. At least everyone except them will show up for a possible Thanksgiving Episode! They say they had no connection to the show like the rest of the cast. That part is understandable... The twins who played Nicky and Alex didn't have that connection either, but they filmed a Cameo appearance. Doing that won't kill the twins... They only need to send ONE for a quick Cameo. The only reason they have the tons of money as "Fashion Moguls" IS BECAUSE OF FULL HOUSE! All the other movies, TV show, videogames were made possible because Full House made them a household name!


Stephen King gave George R.R. Slow as a Restaurant Ketchup Bottle Martin some tips on how to write faster... I mean, wow! George needs tips on how to write faster? I can give you a few:
-Get off your ass and WRITE!! You're a WRITER, do your frigging job!
-Stop going to cons, TV shows, radio shows and bunch of things that keep you too far away from home for far too long...
-If you REALLY HAVE TO GO, then LEARN TO FREAKING WRITE AWAY FROM HOME!!
Seriously, man! I'd like to read the final 2 books sometime in MY LIFETIME!!

Happy Father's Day from the House of Rants!

Well, go spend some time with your father, or
your kids...

But since you are here: Remember this: At least your father wasn't:

So, don't be a Gendo or a Shou...

Not even Son Goku... Didn't realize how much of a dick he was to his children...



But I'll leave you with some more positive news:

And apparently, Meatloaf's Fainting was caused by Dehydration. Nobody likes a Dry Meatloaf...

Caz from New Adventures of He-Man is Theoretically possible now...

It was brought to my attention recently that A Certain Mattycollector SDCC Item has Most of the parts to make a MOTU Classics version of Caz... No, not the She-Ra Doll...
It pisses me off that I didn't notice this earlier... To be fair, the whole Mattycollector is running around like a headless chicken has kept me a bit worried to be looking for Potential Parts reuse in toylines.

But once I noticed the similarities I was like DAMN!! It's too good to NOT DO HIM!
And I'm not exactly Caz's biggest fan... Whenever I mention him is usually because of His sister Drissi... Outside of the House of Rants, whenever I mention him it often involves his VA, Mark Hildreth... You probably know him as Lotor in Voltron Force, or Heero Yuy... Me? Caz, obviously, The Replacement Original Max Steel, Action Man and Most Importantly: Mr. Fatal Fury himself: Terry Bogard!! In the English Fatal Fury OVAs... The ones where 200X Teela is Mai Shiranui! (Who also voiced Cammy in Street Fighter the OVA...)  But back to Caz... Otherwise I'll find myself connecting every Voice Actor EVER and praise Cam Clarke talking Arm of Grayskull, because Cowabunga!

So, Caz:

don't ask about Grott... or Grot... I don't know or care
about the Dinosaur dude here!! 

Look at him... All we really need to turn Wilykat into Caz is:
New head (Is that a fez?)
New Glued On Neck Piece (If I get Wilykat, must check if Nepthu's neck thingie fits.)
New hands without claws.
New Lower Tunic. Worst case scenario reuse the belt. Seems the T-Cat insignia is a tampograph.

That's IT! there's not much new stuff needed to make him.
Drissi is virtually a new Top and head... and a new removable belt (Reusing Club Grayskull Evil Lyn shoulders and Biceps, Nettossa's skirt, Adora's boots and bracers.) The reason I toss in Drissi as well is for the same reason Wilykit is often mentioned with Wilykat.

While these two (and Sebrian) are super easy to make, the lack of leadership at Mattycollector and the fact that they are New Adventures characters kinda puts them at a disadvantage.

Odds and ends June 17, 2016: Meatloaf, Jerry Lawler, stuff!

Meatloaf collapsed on stage... Yes, while singing I would do Anything for Love (but I won't do that)

Out of ALL the songs to collapse to it HAD TO BE THIS ONE... So he'll do anything for love but he won't finish singing the song... What? Too soon? Come on! The Universe itself set it up perfectly! Don't blame me for pointing it out!

Jerry The King Lawler Suspended from the WWE beacause of Domestic Violence Allegations.
Lawler and his fianceé were arrested because of it. Yeesh! First the Heart Attack, now this! Bad luck is following Lawler a bit too much!


I normally do not praise a certain WWE Wrestler who I loathe with a passion...

But, he is starting to win me over with some impressive Skills!
Seriously, the guy learned Mandarin to promote WWE in China! But not only that, he even does the Unthinkable... He fulfills Vincent Kennedy McMahon's wildest dream:

Seriously, Vince just got ALL OF THE ORGASMS when watching this!

In the meantime I'll wait for Darius and a Filmation Skeletor... Symmetry achieved!! Now I wait until Filmation Evil Lyn...

God of War Collection part 6: This one came out of the Toy Chest

Yeah, it's Crate Ass: The Action Figure...
Y'know, for a guy who supposedly hates God of War, I've been getting too much GoW stuff.

Do I need to explain who is Kratos? Yeah? Allrighty then!
OK: Kratos, bastard Demigod son of Zeus... He was the Bill Clinton of Ancient Greek times. Kratos is played like a damn fiddle. He gets pissed and wants more Revenge than Charles Bronson on a Death Wish movie, or Liam Neeson on a Taken. He goes RAH!! I AM KRATOS!! I WANT REVENGE!! and kills the entire Olympian Pantheon before committing Suicide (and failing since he is now a Greek-Viking Demigod) in 6 games. (3 numeric entries, 3 prequels/inbetween games)

A nod to that pose had to be made...

Daenerys looks more like a
Child than Emilia Clarke here.
Also, Sex Minigame reference.

Let me get one thing out of the way: I am disappointed that NECA went on an 8 inch scale for him. I wanted to sneak in Kratos into MOTUC... The heads are nearly MOTUC sized, but the peg hoples are not... Third Party Casters would have to widen the hole for a MOTUC Head if they were to make Crateass heads available for customs.

 Articulation:
This is Near Marvel Legends Level of Articulation here... Toybiz Era.
The only thing missing is the weird pectoral articulation... and hinged fingers. One tiny nitpick is that he can be a bitch to keep standing up. He fell 13 times while trying to take the Grayskull pic. I ended up holding him with one hand and crop the pic. 5.0

Paint and Sculpt:

Second not angry head... This is Kratos
He's supposed to be PMSing 24/7!

I don't have any of NECA's previous Kratos figures so, I don't know if there was reuse or if this is 100% new parts. He looks very close to the GoW 3 version of him... part of me wishes he had the Icarus wings. The drybrushing on him simulates the ashes of his wife and daughter clinging to his body really nicely! The splashes of blood on his Golden Fleece are a nice touch!
5.0

Accessories:
Let's see, he has an second head (Even if I don't see any use for it) The blades of Exile, sadly no chains attached to his body. It kinda reduces accuracy, but at the same time real chains would ruin the paintjob and plastic chains tend to be crap!
He has the Cestus of Hercules... He also has these nifty pegs that go on his back for when he is NOT carrying the blades of exile. The only thing missing are the Icarus Wings!
 I have to give him a 5.0

 Overall:

Damn the QTE!!!

 Here Kratos gets a 5.0 score. I know the score says he's perfect, he's not, but he's as damn close to a perfect action figure... The only main issue is getting him to stand being a bit tricky!

Now if NECA does Greek Viking Kratos... I'd probably get him too!

The Cestus are mega loose on He-Man.
They are also a bit heavy.