I won't go with the long-winded explanation on why Snake Mountain is a difficult item for me to tackle. I mean, by doing this, I'm cementing another reminder that my Mom is dead and I'll never see her again. So yeah... I have to use some stock photos, since the only place I can photograph SM is in the not yet toy room but storage room and let's just say that my organizational skills are less than stellar.
Mom, I'm sorry you're not physically here for this, but you're in my heart and soul. God, I miss you so much! But Snake Mountain...
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| Using a stock photo since I can't photograph the whole thing and I ain't taking it outside. |
I cannot do a standard review because it's a plauset not a figure... but here's what I've got to say:
The playset, while bigger than Grayskull, it's NOT made for 7 inch figures... hell, that "entrance" doesn't even work for Origins.
The playset is more of a Displayset than a Playset. Like there are "play features" but aren't play features. They're "display features".
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| Nefty: Hi, I'm Nefty, the landlord and you're Mr... Skeletor: D-Man... Nefty: Hmmm... you Kinda look like my last tenant, but more emaciated... though you are being vouched by He-Man, so that checks out... Faker: Yes... He-Man... I... am He-Man! Nefty: What's with the Vatican crew? Skeletor: Well, I am a practicing Catholic and since the previous owners were into witchcraft, I brought them for a check up. Wouldn't want any eldritch demons taking over the spooky house... Nefty, Makes Sense... I don't trust that green guy... he looks familiar. Whiplash: (Shrek impression) Donkey! Get off my swamp! Nefty: Your roommates are Shrek and He-Man... you got a $9,999 discount on your monthly rent. Beastman: If my math isn't wrong, that means the rent will be OVER 9000!! Skeletor: Shut up flea bag, the rent WAS pver 9000 from the start now it is barely over 9000. Don't screw this up for me or I'll make a carpet out of you! Nefty: Shall we proceed? |
At the entrance there's a breakable wall that leads into the prison cell. But there's no space in the prison cell for a MOTUC figure., much less if you "break-in" to save the prisoner... guess what, Queen Marlena was killed by getting pinned between a rock wall and an iron gate. Great job, Adam!
The vintage trap door "works". No spring loaded mechanism in here, dad... just a tab you rotate and the figure standing on the trap falls to the net that hangs less than a figure's height.
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| Beastman: This bridge is an OSHA violation... well, if this was a business it would be. Nefty: Small busonesses are allowed, as long as they don't disturb the neighbors! |
That's it... OK there's some semi customizable elements with thw scary faces made to "fill up" the empty space. The table and throne are essentially set peices. You can sit Skeletor and have him ponder how to conquer Eternia.
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| Faker: I... am He-Man... and I decorated for Halloween... yes, Halloween... Trap Jaw: Why is this passage so small... Yo! Beast ma...am! How did you get through here? Beastman: Well, I jumped father Trap Jew! Nefty: Beast Ma'am and Trap Jew? I'm so getting canceled... Where did the Roast Gooble Pope go? |
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| Whiplash: (Shrek impression) I love that these stairs are not visitor friendly! Like that passageway! Tri-klops: If it keeps the Grayskull Witnesses away even better. THERE IS NO MIGHT THAT CAN WITHSTAND THE POWER OF MY BUNGHOLE!! Beastman: Who gave the pope sugar? |
The swamp sticker was made 3D... IIRC the vintahe set had a second Sticker that didn't get the 3D treatment. I smell 3rd party custom piece potential... or I would've if MOTUC wasn't dead.
The old Microphone is a closet now... so yeah...
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| Nefty: Shall we head inside, Mr. Skeletor? Skeletor: What did you call me, you musclebound poorly articulated custom? Nefty: Sorry, Mr. "Man". Careful after opening the door, there's a trap at the entrance... Skeletor: Why is it on the inside and not the outside? Nefty: I didn't design the security system. |
There is a lot less to do with snake Mountain than with Castle Grayskull. Even back when Mattel was making this, it felt like they were going for Display rather than Play...
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| Nefty: So how do you like The Bone Throne? Skeletor: Does this TV table have Skinnemax? Nefty: Dude, you're a bit out of touch. This has 1×10¹⁰⁰ channels. Don't ask me how many of those are "adult" channels, because I haven't seen then all. The parental control code is 6969... Skeletor: Does it have Netflix? Nefty: No, bit you can add your account for all your favorite streaming services... yes, it has VPN Skeletor: Mya... I said Nyeh! Like Joey Wheeler! Nyeh! Nothing else! Nefty: I didn't hear any... Female voice 1: Help! Female voice 2: Tentacle Monster!! Nefty: Fuck! |
I dunno what they could've added, aside an evil version of the weapons rack with other repainted weapons?
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| Whiplash: (Shrek impression) Get off my Swamp you nubile nubians! Diana: I'm 14!! Whiplash: (Shrek impression) This is a Medieval society, if it bleeds from your gash, you're marriage material! Skeletor: whi-Shrek! How sexist and misogynistic of you! Get those ladies off... The tentacles! I meant get them out of that creature's grasp! Whiplash: (Shrek impression) Aye aye! Skeletor: Care to explain? Nefty: Sometimes kids love to wander in here for a Dare. These two must-have snuck in while I was setting up the TV for you. Male voice 1: Help! Male voice 2: We're trapped in here! Andra: Once my Best friend and her Boyfriend get here, y'all are gonna get it! |
My main issue with using this as a display piece is that it only functions as a backdrop. There isn't much to do with the available space and figures easily break the scale...
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| Tri-klops: Zoardammit! I was chasing two harlots and they escaped me when I fell into this trap! Faker: Nets, your only weakness... |
I can't deny that it looks pretty cool, with an insane sculpt and killer paint job, but just like the vintage, there isn't much to do with it.
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| Beastman: I guess there were a few Skeletons inside this closet... and a shit ton of sex toys too! Nefty: One of the past tenants was a sex addict. Guess I didn't find her entire collection. Beastman: Careful Trap Jew... There's too many toy dicks in the dance floor. |
Personally, I'm thinking that third party additions might spice this up... I'm thinking a small lava pool for the fall because it feels dumb having a lava flow going nowhere. Maybe some rocky outcrops and some of those halloween skeletons to create some sort of wasteland.
Did I mention the ladder? Because it stinks... it keeps wobbling and falling whenever I put a figure on.
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| Ladder: What a thrill... with darkness and silence through the night... Trap Jaw: What the actual Hell!? Nefty: just keep climbing. It's a musical ladder. Beastman: I thought it was a Metal Gear Solid reference... |
Seriously, I had to make various attempts to take this pic. I was debating wether or not break out the blu tac.
So I guess this is the part where I would give an overall rating:
Paint and Sculpt: 5.0
Action Features: 2.0
Accessories: 3.0
Overall: 3.33
(Mama's Boy bonus because I can't truly accept that my Mom's final givft is disappointing +1.5)
Was it worth the $600+ Shipping and taxes? To be honest, no. It does make up for the fact that the last Snake Mountain we got was this:
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| Not mine. My Snake Mountain vanished when I was a kid. |
So, I wanted one, just not as much as Mom did...
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| Teela: Why don't you punch a hole in the wall or something, He-Man? He-Man: Stealth Mission, remember? MAA: Don't listen to him, Teela. He's just checking out your ass... Teela: Daaaaaaaad! Don't say things like that! He-Man's incapable of doing such a thing... right? He-Man: Just stand still and let me finish planning our... ungh! Strategy! Teela: What's that smell? Please tell me you didn't... MAA: He did. Teela: EWWWW! |
LIKE I SAID NOT EVEN ORIGINS CAN PASS THROUGH THE PASSAGE.
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| MAA: Oh my Zoar... These stairs are unclimbable! He-Man: Teela, why are you staying behind? Teela: After last time, I don't trust you behind me... He-Man: I can see your rack from here... Teela: EWWWWWW!! |
I guess this is it for the review, I feel like I forgot something... Guess I'll just wrap this up and go home...
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| Bobby: He forgot about us, didn't he? Hank: Dammit, i wanna see what the tentacle monster is doing with Diana... Bobby: Hank! What's going to happen to us? Are we going to die here? Hank: I can't die a virgin! |
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