In my days MTV used to stand for Music Television

Now there's less music but more morons... I remember the days when I loved to watch music videos on MTV and it hit me... Why don't I rant about my favorite Music videos that ARE NOT THAT SONG... So I'll do ten videos that I can watch again and again... That do not have Michael Jackson, because he took videos to a different level.

Let's start with a song that I remember more from the video than from the song... I love the song and have it on my MP3 player, but the full magic of it only works when watching the video.

STAY AWAY FROM MAI WAIFU OR I'LL MAKE Kowlkebabs

This video is trippy as heck... Jumping inside a comic book, a Monkey Wrench fight, being in a relationship with a cartoon character... Yeah... that last part is a bit creepy... so let's back away from the cartoon loving thing and let's comment on how she DID NOT PAY for her coffee and left the diner...
Also, has anyone of you gotten so drunk that you bump into the walls like the dude in the video? I have not... I've bumped into the walls sober while listening to the song...

Now, I could Top this with ANYTHING Involving Michael Jackson, but that would be cheating...
This one, I blame my younger cousin since it's from the Boyband Wars era...

It kinda has this Michael Jackson inspired vibe from it. This is not my favorite BSB song, but it's my favorite BSB video... Their in synchronization competition's videos weren't that great though, but I liked them better as a band... Holy crap! I just gave away my side on the Boy band wars!!

Speaking of my favorite BSB song, not posting the video on the list, but that song was pretty popular and a group of friends of mine (myself included) used to sing it to mock the video. T'was weird and awesome breaking into song at random moments and synch up pretty well. I'd make fun of Hanson, but they are a million times better than One Direction

I'm feeling that I should mention Meatloaf... While there are plenty of songs to choose, I had to go with I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that)

for obvious reasons. The song is catchy, but the video kicks ass! As much as I hate Praising Hollywood's Great Satan, this awesome video was made by Michael Bay... Seriously, he should stick to music videos. Busting through walls with a bike as if he was the Kool-Aid man! Monster Meatloaf rules! Seriously, it's got Bay written all over it, how could I not notice! Even when he's all creepy stalker, he still looks badass... (Being a creepy monster stalker is bad, kids! don't do it in real life!) Seriously, Meatloaf's Stalker levels are off the scale! He stalks the lady the good old fashioned way. He stalks her with his magic Crunk cup, watching her take a bath with her clothes on, but he completely ignores the pseudo-orgy with Succubi happening behind him? Oh... That's the "THAT" he won't do... He'll spy her using a weird contraption that even makes her lounge chair float, but watching the intro to a Cinemax soft core special is a big no-no to him... He may be a creepy stalker, but he has his limitations.

but speaking of creepy stalkers, Here's my next pick!

Yeah, yeah, I know there are better picks for a Lionel Richie video from a visual point of view, but to keep on with the creepy theme, I chose Hello.
Seriously, this video is creepy as heck! He's some sort of creepy teacher stalking a blind student...
If this happened today:
He's all: Hello! Is it me you're looking for?
She's all: I'm blind you #$%ing dumbass! How can I be LOOKING for you! Insensitive prick! Also quit stalking me! POLICE! LIONEL RICHIE TRIED TO RAPE ME!!

Although the actors in the video look older, it somehow has this "High school" vibe... which makes it even creepier. Calling her by phone at night and staying silent...

But again, keeping with the creepy theme...

Tom Green's Bum Bum song... It made the top on TRL but since TRL lacked the LIVE part of the Requests, they Coerced Green to retire the song... I guess he regrets putting his bum on the cheese...

but speaking of people who put their bum on things...

Yes, it's time for the Mandatory Miley Cyrus video...

Don't worry, it won't be a Hannah Video, since those tend to suck, because it's just Hannah Montana Prancing on a stage but at the same time it won't be a post-Hannah Miley video where she licks stuff and thinks she's Tom Green...




My Miley video is rather tame...

THIS is the Miley I miss... Not dressed up in weird fursuits or plastic pants 2 sizes too small and not Tom Greening everything in sight... Even the Mileyrena section of the video is way better than the Hammer licking...  Now as much as I dislike Miley's new image, I have to admit that her Wrecking ball song is good. I'm not going to do an extensive rant on this song since it's an obvious trippy dream sequence. If I wanted to make a rant I could use Wrecking Ball and suggest that the scenes of Miley making out with the hammer are references to a secret crush she had on Thor...

This next video is from one of my EARLIEST MP3 FILES... I had forgotten for a long time that a video of this song existed.

The video is nothing out of the Ordinary... It's only Jennifer Love Hewitt jumping around while singing about the I Know what you did Last Summer dude...
This made it to TRL cause she was dating Carson Daly...

That's Seven Down and THREE To Go!! Who are the Top 3 NON-Michael Jackson videos that I love to watch/Listen? Stay tuned to this very rant because they're coming up next!!


Next on my list:

You have no Idea how I HATED THIS Video... Little kids LOVED THE HECK OUT OF THIS...
I can go on a murderous spree while listening to this song... (Perfect song to mow the lawn... It gets me angry enough to mutilate and possibly murder grass!) Nothing like the smell of freshly mutilated plant life to make you feel all Summertime happy, right? Best part is that I KNOW ZERO FRENCH, so I cannot understand how tough is to be a baby... which totally makes sense. Adults do not understand babies, so they don't know how hard it is to be one...

dur dur d'être  adulte doesn't have the same ring to it.
yes, that is Jordy, all-grown-up...

 Heck his music was banned from France, to avoid exploitation, they claim... I think it's more to avoid another French Revolution...

All jokes aside. I love using this video to torture my younger brother, who LOVED this song as a kid...

Now the video is not remarkable... Seeing the man in Tightie Whities is  a bit disturbing, but it's a French video, so it's artsy... Irresponsible parents, not really. They are showing how trusty they are and that their babies are independent enough to go on a boat ride all alone...The song is catchy on its own... the Cringeworthy stuff IS the video... Sorry, it's a European video so it is Fine Art... (Insert Snobbish laugh here)

So, let's leave the little French Kid alone and move to out Next Video, one that I've used a couple of times for a couple of rants, due to the theme of said rants...

Paramore's Decode... The best thing related to Twilight: the movie... There is nothing remarkable on the video, but due to it having clips from the movie and the band in the forest (or A forest similar to the one from the movie) as if they're there singing... which begs the question, all that electric equipment is being powered by? Seriously, I don't hear any generators giving power to the instruments, amps and microphone... Also, it's funny seeing the band Twilighting it up... ie. standing around like constipated idiots... I could have gone with another song from another movie, that's been overplayed, but this video I mostly ignored. The non-Daredevil version of this video, I've not seen, so that's why I went with Decode... Also, the sooner I can Forget Garner as Elektra, the better...

This is it guys, The Final Video... The Top Ten are nearly OVER!! To pick my Number one, I had to do a huge Purge on my list... Eternal favorites of mine did not make the cut, Not even Queen... and there's a LOT of stuff to choose from Queen... Ask Vanilla Ice... (BTW it sounds like He's saying Ass, Ass, Baby)

How many of you were actually surprised that my NUMBER ONE VIDEO IS THIS!?
Sure, I could have used any video from any Disney Animated Feature, but I only do those once in a blue moon. Also, I kept Disney to a Minimum since I put up Miley... That's why Billy Ray is nowhere to be seen on the list.

BONUS VIDEO:

The one video that was CLOSE Enough to make it to the list but did not... One shall stand and one shall fall... He-Man stood, Transformers fell.