May 18, 2015

Jem is desperation, Ooh Jem!

Of course, I'm talking about the Cinematic Turd that is making Tranktastic Four look decent, by Jon M. Chu: Jem and the Josie and the Pussycats rip-off with 35% Hannah Montana.

Well, I've talked how that trailer is

Hey! It's been a while since I've used the Rarity overreaction clip... Also it's a Hasbro thing, so it fits!

Well, the Producer, or one of them, Jason Blum gave an interview to Topless Robot  about Jem-in name only.

You can click on the link to read the entire thing at Topless Robot, but here are some excerpts:

LYT: Can you reassure some of the fans right now who are a little upset at the way it looks and feel like it's not true to the property from what they've seen?
JB: It is a hundred per cent true to the spirit of Jem, like 100%, and I think that people will be very pleasantly surprised. So in that way it's good - maybe lowering expectations is good. But I think people will be pleasantly surprised for sure.

WHERE to start 100% true to the Spirit of Jem!? The trailer for this movie makes the movie seem like it's a rip-off of all the movies and TV shows that have had "the Band Story", you know the one...
Undiscovered band hits it big, but the Record Company fills the lead's head with crap in order to have him/her go solo. The band kinda breaks up and make up after the lead singer discovers that he/she is a sell-out and he/she brings the band back together. Friendship over money... This is not Jem...

Jem is closer to a Superhero movie with Music and some soap opera elements than what the movie shows. The dilemma of the Secret Identity was whisked away by having Eric Raymond minus penis "Create JEM". The "Love Triangle" between Jerrica, Rio and JEM is now gone. If everyone knows that Plain Jane Jerrica is Jem, then WHAT'S THE POINT OF JEM!?

Lowering expectations is good = Movie is crap. Expect Crap so in the rare case you like something then the movie surprised you pleasantly... Please don't let this Dickweed say crap like you can't put an entire movie in a 2 minute trailer...

JB: [laughs loudly] Tell her to hang in there and have faith. A trailer's two minutes; a movie is 90.

Someone, please stop this dickweed... Do not allow him to speak, because he's confirming all of our fears...

 But I would just ask people to reserve judgment until they've seen the movie. I don't judge a book by reading the book cover, and I just would ask people, don't judge the movie by seeing the trailer. But if after they see the movie, they don't like it? They can scream from the rooftops.

Stop, you buffoon! This is not Judging a book by its cover... Criticizing the movie from the first leaked still (which I did) IS Judging a book by its cover. Judging by the Trailer is like Judging a book by its Synopsis. The Trailer, like the Book's Synopsis, is a tool used to make people interested in the movie or book (trailers for movies, Synopses for books). This movie failed at being a JEM Movie, based on the trailer. There is no Synergy (and no, the rumors about Synergy being their pre-show mantra or a phone app does not equal super computer that could create Holograms or Hard Light Constructs via Jerrica's borderline Magical* Earrings.

* I mean Magical in the sense that the technology for them is so freaking advanced that it looks almost like Magic.

So, OK, we have a Producer defending the movie... How can we top this?
Fake Kimber to the rescue! We shouldn't judge this movie by the trailer, says the girl who wasn't even born when JEM was relevant.

“I think you have to see the movie to understand,” she told ComingSoon. “You can’t put it all in the same movie, and I feel like it really does set it up in a cool way. I think a lot of the things that people think are missing are in there. You just have to see it to understand. You can’t put the whole movie in the trailer. […] I want people to see it so they can see it’s a heartwarming story. It’s a beautiful coming-of-age story about family, but the music is incredible and it’s really our rise to fame and then after that … I think it really needed to set up the story before we could get into everything.”

I'll take fools who don't understand JEM at all for $200, Alex! THERE IS NO DRAMA BEHIND THE WHOLE JEM/JERRICA THING because this movie killed it. There is no REAL Reason for The Misfits to exist, since Eric Raymond w/o Penis already KNOWS WHO IS JEM... THERE IS NO NEED FOR SYNERGY BECAUSE Penisless Eric Raymond created Jem. If there is no Synergy (as in the Computerized program that could make Jerrica look like a different person... or a surfboard.

I feel bad for her because she is defending her paycheck, but she is sounding almost as naive as Kimber, so she gets a few brownie points.

On the other hand, this thing is so un-Jem-like that I have a strong feeling it'll flop, based on the horrible word of mouth that it's getting.

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