May 13, 2015

Jon M. Chu, you have failed JEM!

Beating up Jem-in-name-only seems a bit unfair, but...
When... Willliam Shatner... Complains... about your trailer... and makes references... to... the cartoon, then you failed HARD...
Captain James T. Effin Kirk understands Jem way better than the dickweeds in charge of making this cinematic abomination happen!!

That, ladies and Gentlemen is pathetic as hell!! As much as I love to bitch about Michael Bay, the douche actually has made FOUR FREAKING MOVIES WITH ROBOTS THAT TRANSFORMS INTO VEHICLES!!

Meanwhile, Jon M. Chu can't even get a single movie about a businesswoman who runs a shelter for runaway girls that turns into a pop star by using a super hi-tech computer that can create holograms and solid light projections through her earrings, in order to have random battles of the bands with another band who acts like terrorists that are slightly more competent than COBRA...

When you take Jem to its simplest form, she is not simply "80s Hannah Montana". SYNERGY is a HUGE part of JEM. It's like Money and Determination for Bruce Wayne, The Power of Grayskull for He-Man, The Transforming into vehicles thing of the Transformers.
I'm going to post the lyrics to Jem's theme:
Jem is excitement.Ooh! Jem!
Jem is adventure.Ooh!
Glamour and glitter,
Fashion and fame.
Jem is truly outrageous,Truly, truly, truly outrageous.Woah! Jem!
The music's contagious, outrageous!
Jem is my name,No one else is the same!Jem is my name!
But we're The Misfits,
Our songs are better!
We are The Misfits,The Misfits,And we're gonna get her!Jem!
The music's contagious, outrageous!
Jem is my name,No one else is the same!Jem is my name!Jem!
The trailer for the movie lacked: Excitement and Adventure, which are needed for Jem, since it's on the FREAKING LYRICS!!

three examples of the outlandish situations that Jem, the Holograms and other characters of the show get into.
We could say that these exciting adventures are Truly Outrageous! Almost as crazy as say, 2 American Soldiers running around Paris in Iron Man suits, while trying to stop terrorists who want to destroy the Eiffel Tower.

Also as seen on one of the clips, the Misfits are not above of attempting to murder Kimber because she kissed a guy. Also, has a list of crimes committed by the Misfits. (they mention Kimber's attempted murder too! btw) The Misfits are trying REALLY hard to get Jem (and possibly kill her) Meanwhile in the trailer, there was no hint of this rival band who HATES Jem and the Holograms.

Now the repeated lyrics Jem is my name, no one else is the same... Why is that?
Freaking Holograms, man!! though now in the 21st Century we KINDA have a Real Life Jem

Using the same effects as the VOCALOID concerts we could have had a slightly more grounded in reality JEM.
Outlandish adventures, concerts that use effects that blur the line between reality and fantasy, a Romantic Triangle between a Heroine, her Secret Identity and a man. That is closer to the JEM we needed...

The saddest part of this not Jem movie is that WHEN it flops, it'll send a message that movies based on toys for girls simply do not sell. The message will not be that an incompetent director used a script for a different movie and gave it a "jem palette swap" from a writer who is competing with Justin Marks. That the producers had a "Student Film budget" to make this outlandish movie, which made it impossible to deliver something good. THAT is what pisses me off the most. These dickweeds mess with a brand with potential and instead of delivering a soulless product that will fill seats. we get a freaking LIFETIME Movie...

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