Apr 3, 2022

GTA Trilogy: The Definitive Edition: Vice City: The Review: The Rant

 The second game of the Trilogy... hurts a lot more knowing that I'm 36 years away from the game's setting... 1986... Neon lights, New Wave blasting on radios, snorting cocaine out of a hooker's asscrack while wearing outfits similar to Sonny Crockett or Michael Knight...

Only the first two were true to my life... what kind of irresponsible parents would let a 4 year old snort cocaine out of a hooker's asscrack... I won't say any names since Will Smith's weak assed slap now gave everyone permission to attack people who make tastless jokes. So let's move on with the second 3D era game of the Grand Theft Auto Trilogy. As i said it's GTA, but in the 80s. It wants to surpass 3 in every single way... instead of a silent protagonist, we got Hannah Montana's Principal as the voice of the Protagonist...
Tommy Vercetti and Hannah Montana:
Your argument is invalid.

Yes, I just wanted an excuse to mention Hannah Montana on a Grand Theft Auto rant... let's  move on with the review. Since it's a videogame, I use a 10 point scale.

Graphics:
This is a PS2 game remastered for PS4. There is an impressive improvement in some areas, but in others, the improvements fall way short of what's expected on PS4 to PS5 era. The game in some ways looks now even more cartoonier than it did on PS2.

This is a video comparison between the original and the Definitive edition... video, obviously not mine.
7.0

Music and sounds:
On my first thoughts rant, I already commented on the missing songs. I'm not going to go on about it. It stinks that they're gone, but it probably has to do with licensing making it "too expensive for Rockstar"... other. Than that, the voicework didn't change since they just used the old audio. That means we still have King Koopa and Turd Ferguson... the real Turd Ferguson, not the late Norm Macdonald. 
9.0 (due to the removed songs)

Controls:
There is a slight improvement on the controls... or I got accustomed to them after GTA3. I keep forgetting about the crouching and have accidentally crouched when I shouldn't. 4+ wheeled Vehicles handle a bit better than 3... since this is the first time we have bikes, their controls are a bit finicky.
7.0

Gameplay:
Same as GTA3, but slightly improved. Drovong for the most part is a bit better, boats have improved. The melee and gunplay is similar, but there are some interesting additions. We can actually fly a seaplane and helicopters. The flight mechanics are a bit rough, since this is the first time they're implemented... if we ignore the unflyable Dodo from 3...
Because of the improvements on the stuff from 3 and the addition of new transportation methods and mechanics the game gets an
8.0

Story:
Tommy Vercetti, played by Honey Entrepreneur, Ray Liotta, is sent to Vice City in order to get the Forelli family into the drug business. A deal with the Vance Brothers (whose backstory is explored on the PSP game Vice City Stories) is botched by a third party who takes the drugs and the cash. Now Vercetti has to climb the ladder of Vice City's criminal underbelly to recover Sonny Forelli's drugs and money... while he's doing that becoming the top dog as the new Antonio Hannah Montana and getting his share of the Vice City Pie seems like a nice side project.
9.5

Fun Factor:
The game feels shorter than GTA3... and I started the game on the 22nd. Without playing every single day, by the 28th, I was missing 9 rampages, Vigilante, Ambulance, and I already unlocked the Second Island, got all the packages, and I'm in the process of getting money to buy enough real estate and generate enough money to pay off my debt up north. By the 31st, I accidentally beat the game WITHOUT doing the Hatian or Cuban Missions.
Compared to starting GTA3 on December 28 and beating it on March 22. But, being easier doesn't mean it's less fun. There are a few annoying missions, but not like GTA3... The Driver is the most BS mission in the game. People love to hate on Demolition Man, but it isn't that difficult. G-Spotlight is a bit annoying! Death Row is easy if you get a Guardian Angel Admiral... FYI you can get one nearly invincible Admiral when you beat Guardian Angels and quickly turn left. There's a high chance of diaz despawning and leaving the car in the middle of the road. 
8.5

Overall
Vice City's an improvement over 3. While San Andreas has theoretically speaking better gameplay and a bigger world, The overall package feels better on VC. The world, the feeling, the music, and most importantly, the story; they're all tighter in Vice City. There's a reason why the expectations for GTA VI are so big... and it's all thanks to Vice City.
8.17

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