Apr 15, 2022

It came from the Toy Chest: Todd made a villain...

 Of course, it's a Batman Villain... everyone knows that the DC Multiverse line is really Batman and some other Losers line.

Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, better known as The Penguin, is a criminal Mastermind, who acts like a legitimate businessman and in multiple continuities, he uses his Iceberg Lounge as a front for his Criminal activities. In the recent WB movie, The Batman, he was played by Colin Farrell in a fat suit. This is the figure we're reviewing... We need a Classac Penguin, Todd!!

Joker: Oh my, Cobblepot! You've grown!
Penguin: Oh no! It's the comic book jester, his animated bitch, and a videogame mercenary!
Slade: Fuck you Penguin! I ought to snipe you in a phone booth!
Harley: Are you gonna let him insult us like that, Mistah J?
Joker: Shut your little pony mouth Harley! I'm here to talk business with my old pal Oswald Cobblepot!!
Penguin: I'll peck... what do you want, Joker?

Pengy here us suffering from limited articulation because he's fat AND a plastic outfit that hinders a lot of articulation.
He can barely be posed out of a vanilla standing pose. Not to mention that his legs feel super stiff and like they're going to break off when attempting to pose him.
Joker: I heard about the gun ban and I was saving this for a rainy day! Hehehehehehe...
Penguin: What Gun Ban? Bang! Cor Blimey! Where is my gun? Oi, Deadshot! Pull out your gun, will ya!
Slade: It's Deathstroke you asshole... What!? My gun is glued to my holster!
Harley: "Saving this for a rainy day?" That joke was cringe with a capital CRINGE!!

Paint and sculpt:
The paintwork is decent. The sculpt has the same McFarlane issues where it's OK, but the likeness is off. The left fist hand sculpt is ruined by the thick paintjob. Also, since they has his coat and suit sculpted as one piece, this limits the articulation. 
Deathstroke: Fuck this shot I'm out!
Harley: Wait for me Mistah Slade! Puddin' is making anime references now and I can't stand the Chinese cartoon stuff...
Deathstroke: Anime is Japanese...
Penguin: WENK! WENK! WENK!
Joker: Wryyyyhahahahahahahaha!! With this Umbrella I've given you, THE WORLD!!
Penguin: Yes, now I have a Gunbrella!!

If you're making a Penguin figure, you expect one single thing:
An Umbrella ella ella... Here we have a pic of Colin Farrell with one. I'm not asking for the Top Hat, cigar, or cigarette in a cigarette holder. I'm only asking for a plain old umbrella. Because a Penguin without an umbrella isn't the Penguin. He's just a fat dude in semi fancy clothes.
All he has is a Gun Fingers hand, and a closed fist.
Penguin: With my Gunbrella, I'll take that Sparkly F-
Joker: No! Pengy! Don't use the F-word!! Especially when talking about Batsy! It's like the N-word for queer folks!
Penguin: Oi! I wasn't going to call him a cigarette! I was going to say Fairy, because the Bat looks like a twilight fairy!
Batman: You got a problem with gay men, Cobblepot?
Penguin: He's tapping my shoulder, isn't he?

Pengy gets a 2.5 as his final score. I balme the crappy accessories, the useless articulation and weird engineering/cost cutting choices made on the figure. 
Batman: I'm going to take you on a world of pain where you will squeal like a pig and beg for sodomy...
Penguin: Wait, you're not the Twibat? You're... you're...
Batman: I am Vengeance!!! I am the Night!!! I!! Am!!! BATMAN!!

While Catwoman and the Green Condom are available, I'll wait for more classic versions of them... We need Burton/Schumacher era villains... (Arnie Freeze, Pfeiffer Catwoman, Carrey Riddler, hell even a Billy Dee Williams Two-Face vs a Tommy Lee Jones Two-Face in a face 4 face battle...)

Random note: Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman in the 90s Animated series and Arkham games is penning a personal story for DC's Pride 2022 event... and that's how I discovered that another of my favorite male VAs is gay... (we all know that Cam Clarke is gay as well, and how he is worshipped here at the House of rants. Seriously, I fucking love Cam Clarke, platonically. Even my assistant gets a voice Boner from Cam Clarke)

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