Dec 4, 2022

Advent Calendar 04: The other Billie Eilish action figure

Billie: Let me out of here!!

 I complained about Last Year's Billie Eilish figure. It seems she fits with Super7 TMNT. This means that Miley Cyrus has been replaced.

So Billie Eilish... What? I'M  A JON SNOW ON THIS TOPIC! I'M not going to redo the Goldeen joke. She sings, she dances, she used to wear baggy clothes to hide her body. Now that she's legal, she teases tiddies falling out. In before self-righteous asshats twist the she's legal statement. By she's legal, I mean that she can strip on stage or pseudomasturbate on the stage because she's an adult performer... had she done these things as a kid, that would be worrisome. But while I don't care about her singing, she's cool in my book. She stopped a concert in order to get medical help to a concertgoer who had trouble breathing while she was performing.


Articulation 
She has borderline Marvel Legends articulation... From Playmates!? NO WAY!! YES WAY. Head on a Hasbro pseudoball joint. Underboob articulation, waist twist hinged thighs with rotation, double joint knees, ankle articulation, hinged shoulders with rotation, hasbro elbows, hinged wrists.
4.0
Billie: This is kinda cool being saved by a Ninja Turtle... what are you doing?
Mike: TEENAGE mutant ninja turtle... it makes my fondling of you a misdemeanor and you a predator since I'm 15 and you're 20. 
Billie: You could've just asked... I would've said no...
Mike: Exactly!
Billie: or yes, if you hadn't rudely interrupted me.
Mike: For real?



Paint and sculpt
Billie is mostly white plastic, minus the head and forearms. These are molded in Caucasian flesh plastic with painted accents. The shirt has some jewelry and the black stains.
The sculpt it's similar to the other figure but there are a few differences. If you remove the shirt she has a similar scope to the previous figure but for some reason the proportions are a bit better on this one. In fact you could display her shirtless and it would still work.
My figure has a slight defect or her left sleeve is broken. Will have to fix it with epoxy or something. The only general complaint is that her face doesn't look that much like Miss Eilish.
3.5


Accessories
Cardboard diorama based on the video, cardboard chair and stand for her Noob saibot semen glass. The diorama is a Nifty thing, my only complaint is that the cardboard chair.
3.5


Overall
When the Party is over, Billie Eilish gets a 3.67 as her final score. I wish we could get versions of her that we're more normal, because these figures fit better with the Super7 Ninja Turtles figures or Power Rangers than she does 6 inch lines. This figure could have rated a lot higher if it wasn't for Playmates weird logic.
Mike: Holy mackerel! I can't believe I'm making out with music superstar Billie Eilish!!
Billie: Wow! I can't believe I'm making out with Michelangelo the Ninja Turtle...
Mike: Billie, we gotta stop! I'm getting hard...
Billie: It's just an erection, don't worry about it.
April: You JEZEBEL!! STAY AWAY FROM MY TURTLE COCK!!
Mikey's penis: Kurae! Shoinkeiken!
Billie: Aaaargh!!
April: Take that, you BITCH!

If Playmates were to get more artists and they remained consistent on sculpt and Articulation, they could have a winner here...

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