Dec 5, 2022

Advent Calendar 05: This is CNN


 Before my readers of republican inclination complain. I'm referencing James Earl Jones and his famous This is CNN closing message. I mean, I could've used the obvious one or the one retconned into a High Ground reference. Or I could go with a Mufasa reference... don't worry it's the good one. No, I'm not reviewing a Darth Vader figure... I think I did that a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. So, all that's left is either Thulsa Doom or King Jaffe... but you are most likely not visually impaired and you can see that it's Thulsa Doom.

Thulsa Doom is... well, I better let the folks at legolambs explain Thulsa Doom.

Articulation
TD: Are you Threatening Me!?
I am the Great Cornholio! I Need TP for my Bunghole! I am Gringo! I have no Bunghole! Feel the wrath from Lake Titicaca!
Nefty VO: Hopefully you read the Beavis quotes in James Earl Jones' voice.

Thulsa Doom has normal articulation that is not blocked by his cloth outfit. Normally I hate the use of articles on less than 12 in figures, but it works okay for Thulsa Doom. Sadly the plug on the back of his belt was broken on mine and I tried to lose it together it didn't work but the articulation is not impeded and it's not that noticeable. Thank goodness for his fishnet cape.
4.0
Conan: *random Schwarzenegger noises*
TD: You don't know the Power of the Dark Arts!
Conan: Thulsa Doom, you killed my parents, prepare to die!!
TD: I have killed so many parents, I don't recall all the faces...
Conan: What!?
TD: For you, the day Thulsa Doom graced your village was the most important day of your life... For me, it was Tuesday...
Conan: *angry Schwarzenegger noises*
TD: Cobra LALALALALALALALALALALA!!
Nefty VO: Reread them in James Earl Jones' voice... You're welcome!


paint and sculpt 
He KINDA looks like a James Earl Jones impersonator, bit he is no CNN... due to the broken belt, I will not try to remove his clothing to see the sculpt inside, but it seems that he uses the previous Thulsa Doom body. There isn't that much I can't comment in the paint, since most of him is in cloth clothes.
4.5
TD: I need Sssssassssuke Uchiha!!
Conan: Fuck you Asshole! I'm going to go St. Patrick on your ass!!


Accessories 
Extra Snake head
Decapitated snake head
6 extra hands
Necklace 
Ceremonial Knife
Bow
Snake Arrow (capable of putting Duke from GI Joe in a coma)
5.0
Conan: There can be only one... *random orgasmic Schwarzenegger noises* I feel like I just pumped iron.


Overall
Thulsa Doom gets a 4.5 as his final score. It's a shame that the belt was broken but it's far too late for me to get a replacement so I'm shit out of luck. It's a decent Tulsa Doom figure and not only it works as a Conan figure, but theoretically he also works as a Masters of the Universe figure... 
That's a face not even a mother could love...


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