Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
A $55 figure shouldn't require surgery before using. Sure, it cost me $38 and change with the Cyber Week deal at Entertainment Earth, but still! I shouldn't have to carve out stuck flashing inside the wing holes. With that complaint out of the way, let's talk Ace Duck: Duck, Pilot.
He say humanoid duck that happens to be a pilot. An ally of the turtles who can fly anything that has wings. Personally, He'd be the no-nonsense pilot for the Neftyverse iteration of the Mighty Mutanimals. Heavily inspired by the IDW roster, but with certain changes. More on those on a different rant.
Ace is very patriotic. Saluting and placing a hand over his heart as he listens to the Anthem of his people.
Articulation:
He has standard Articulation for an ULTIMATES figure by Super7. The 2-4 additional wing PoA are optional, since the wings are a bitch to plug in and if you put him on the wingless jacket, he has no wingholes for the wings to be plugged in. There seems to be an issue with his hands popping off while posing. Thr tail also pops off way too easily.
Ducks are awful at using Healing Magic... It has nothing to do with the review but it is a duck fact.
4.0
Paint and sculpt:
The NECA figure towers over this one. It's weird. Personally, I feel that the color choices for this figure were wrong. The Browns on the jacket are way too bright the guns don't have this metallic gray look but a weird slate colored plastic. They look off putting. Perhaps painting jacket, had and guns could make them look as much better. I love the alternate head with the pilot cap and the cigar.
Ducks are known to be rapists... It has nothing to do with the review, but it is a duck fact.
4.0
Accessories:
Alt. Head
Extra hands
6 egg grenades
Bandolier
Chicago Typewriter
Handgun
Hat
Alt jacket
Goggles
2 wings
Tailfeathers
Vintage inspired weapon rack.
As I mentioned earlier, the wings and hands are causing issues. The bandolier can be a nit of a hassle at times... but he has plenty of stuff.
There are underground duck races in Shenmue 2... It's not related to the... wait a minute, why is Ace holding a soda can like he was Ryo Hazuki? Holy crap! Ace is Dressed like Ryo Hazuki!! Neftyverse's Ace is gonna get sweaty!!
5.0
Overall:
Ace gets a 4.33 as his final score. While he shouldn't have had any issues. Ignoring them, would still make him a weak figure. Being smaller than a NECA 1:12 Figure while Ace is 1:10 scale feels like a rip-off. He's not exactly a bad figure, QC issues aside. The problem is that he's not a Good figure either. He's average at best. Sure the extra head makes him a bit cooler but it almost feels like he was phoned in. Then come in the hands and wings falling off by looking at them wrong and he begins to slip into bad territory. Buy at your own risk.
I mean, here at the House of rants, we're NOT fans of Soccer but Pelé was one of the 3 soccer players of all time that we could name. The other two are Diego Maradona and David Beckham. Saddest part is that two out of those three players I only know because of women they have had a relationship. In Beckham's case, it's Posh Spice. Pelé's was Xuxa. Maradona, I know due to my College era hairsyle was similar to his... So yeah, the 3 Soccer Players I know of, the reasons I know them are not Soccer... so yeah, Pelé passed away due to complications with colon cancer. Im not sure if the translation is correct in spelling and grammar. I only duolingo'd 5 days of Portuguese:
Minhas condolâncias aos amigos e sua familia.
But, Pelé was one of the top 2 if not THE BEST SOCCER PLAYER in history. He was the man who put Brazil on the map for the sport.
I'm talking like he had Anime Main Character Powers but for soccer!
May he rest in peace... or may he have an epic soccer battle against Maradona in the afteife.
It seems that Hideo STILL CAN'T LET GO OF HIS METAL GEAR PAST DESPITE CLAIMING HE'S BEEN TRYING TO MOVE ON SINCE MGS2.
Trailer is a weird Kojima mystery... never trust the trailers because Kojima lies... remembering all the Solid Snake action in the MGS2 trailer that was all Raiden. But what the trailer is hinting (possible Kojima Misdirection) Lou gets killed, Higgs is back with a new group. This Drawbridges has a vehicle that looks like the top of Metal Gear Rex. Now we have Old Sam... and Fragile got younger... but I'm getting MGS4 vibes from this.
I wonder if Elle Fanning will be playing a beach aged Lou as a reverse Amelie... This most likely will be a PS5 game and I haven't gotten around getting a PS5, so... I might get it in 5 years or something.
I'm not an avid YuYu Hakusho fan. I mostly rember it due to a Latin American meme regarding the Knife Edge Deathmatch. In the English dutb it isn't THAT BAD since Kuwabara figures out that it's a deathmatch with knives.
For some reason, the Latin American dub makes them sound dumber for not figuring out what a "Duelo a muerte con cuchillos (Duel to the Death with Knives for the Spanish impaired.) Because Knife Edge Deathmatch sounds a bit more mysterious, since the Edge is the confusing part. The confusion everyone has works in Japanese, since the dude making the Knife Edge Deathmatch says Naifuejjidesumatchi in beautiful Engrish. So it's understandable that Japanese teens with rusimentary English knowledge would have issues with localizing the meaning. But when the English and LatAm Spanish dubs came, localization didn't change Knife Edge Deathmatch to a different language:
Like say: Match à Mort au Coteau for the English dub and Keep Knife Edge Deathmatch in Spanish in order to preserve the Language Barrier issue.
Netflix hasn't released their Bastardization of One Piece and they're going to make a Live Action Bastardization of YuYu Hakusho. Hopefully, it'll be a Japan made adaptation and not an American made one.
There has been a lack of holiday cheer for me this season. Real Life™ has been a bitch this year. Advent Calendar was done in time aside the Christmas reveal... I was unable to get Santa from the Naughty or Nice collection on time for the Holidays. I don't think it's a "Me" thing. I mean there's no Holiday cheer in the air. In a street with 30-ish houses only 3 had holiday decorations. Most stores had very little of Christmas decorations on display. They had tons for sale though. Radio barely played any Christmas music... I had to Manually search for "All I want for Christmas is you" and "Feliz Navidad" in order to listen to them. Only once I heard Jingle Bells. That's messed up!
It's a recipe for disaster if one is going through depression and loneliness. To say that I feel like shit is putting it lightly. "Be grateful, appreciate what you have in life, go to work so you don't feel alone." sounds easy but it isn't. Not everyone works Christmas eve and on Christmas... OK, I do, but that's not the point. The point is that all that advice makes sense, but it doesn't work... it's like we KNOW what has to happen, but knowing it is not enough. It's fighting against the darkness wothin what becomes super hard. External factors can also be a hindrance.
Despite me feeling like shit at an emotional level, not having the holiday cheery feeling needed to survive this time of the year; I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and any other Holiday that I might be forgetting at the moment.
If you know someone who is not well at this time of the year due to issues, check up on them. I think a call,a text, something just to let them know that you're there for them. They might need it.
This one was way over a year due. I've had the Slambulance since 2021, and ended up buying an incomplete one on eBay to customize into the Party Wagon alternative, the Shellbulance. So I took the parts from the Mint one and put them on the incomplete one since it was in better condition than the complete one as crazy as it may sound. I repainted the original into the current Shellbulance and used a manhole cover from Advent Calendar 2 as the hood ornament. So now I have to tackle the real deal.
It's an ambulance for WWE figures with some ML level battle damage. It has some action features, like the aforementioned battle damage. It can launch a gurney via a button press. It has storage space for accessories. It can seat two people in the front.
Even though they're 1:10, they can still slide around inside.
It can have 2 figures hanging in the back plus 1 in the gurney. Like the picture states, Super7 human figures fit inside comfortably, but even in their larger scale, they slide around. 1:12 figures slide around even more. Storm Collectibles figures are unfortunately a tad too big for it.
Articulation:
Back doors, driver and passenger doors open. The left side has 2 doors that open and reveal storage space. The roof has Unintentional doors, but they're there. Wheels roll but don't turn. The hood has battle damage, which is articulated. These pieces I transplanted from the 2021 Slambulance to the newer slambulance.
April: Stealing an Ambulance, Casey!? Of all the crazy stunts you could've pulled!? An Ambulance!? Casey: Yet here you're riding alongside me! Reporters are supposed to tell the story not be a part of it! April: Shut up and keep driving!
4.5
Paint and sculpt:
The paint is minimal, details are mostly stickers. The sculpt is decent. It looks like an ambulance. Mine has some alights scuffs, but the inside cardboard stickers are in excellent condition.
Casey: It's raining Turtles... April: Hallelujah! Raph: Casey! April! You're a sight for sore eyes! Slash: I'm going to Kill you Stupid Turtle!! You, your brothers and your Rat father! Raph: Ugh! I need to shut Slash up... Crap! Lost my Sai during the fall...
I don't like that it needs stickers for the lights... or that the rims are unpainted... but then again, for roughly $40, it's a reasonable price. For the WWE themed grill, maybe a third party could print grills that can be glued on top of it to hide the WWE logo.
4.5
Accessories:
This is technically a playset, so EVERYTHING IS an accessory... I guess the Gurney would be an accessory, but since this doesn't come with a basic figure, this section is null.
N/A
Slash: HAHA! I'm free at last! Yer Dead, Hamato Raffaello! Raph: Oh, crap! Using my whole name. If my head wasn't ringing so hard I'd give you a proper response, Axl... Slash: My head is... urk! Gimme five minutes, then I kick your shell... Raph: Alright... 5 minutes then it's shell kicking time!! Casey: Yo, what the hell did just happen? April: I'm just as confused as you are, Jones... I'm just gonna call the others.
Overall:
The Slambulance gets a 4.5 as its final score. It's an awesome vehicle, excellent for dioramas and not necessarily WWE... with some modifications. Obviously, the set works great with WWE figures.
April: Really, Casey? You had to steal ANOTHER AMBULANCE!? Casey: You forget, you're riding with me... Leo: Guys, just ride with us... Don: Adding Grand Theft Auto to your record isn't such a great idea, Casey!! Mike: Vice City is my favorite story, but San Andreas has the best gameplay... Raph: They're talking about the crime, not the videogames, you donut
America! America!! America! Stop this... not going to make a refernce to that movie heck yeah! So yeah, America Chavez, who is supposed to be black and Puerto Rican was race swapped to a Mexican mestiza with Mesoamerican Native and Spanish heritage, yet most of the folks who hate whitewashing were OK with this. But let's talk America:
She's a latina alien from a lesbian dimension, but in reality is a sick child of a pair of lesbian doctors who have her undergo an experimental treatment that gave her godly powers. Raised in a household of Puerto Rican ancestry (both her adoptive parents being Nuyorican), but she's Mexican now, carnal! She appeared in Doctor Strange: in the MoM as the McGuffin that both wanda and Strange needed. If you want a more in-depth background on her, just watch Doctor Strange in the MoM.
America: You're THIS Universe's Dr. Strange? Strange: Who are you supposed to be? Dora the Explorer? America: I'm America Chávez. Strange: No You're not... America: Este Medico Rarito no es el Doctor... Strange: Yo entiendo y hablo Español... America: Since when? Strange: Since I've been using Duolingo... America: La puta madre... Strange: So, what brings you here? America: I don't know, there was this one eyed monster and a mom... Strange: That sounds like my Internet history, but go on...
Articulation
AmeriDora... seriously, Xochtil Gomez looks more like a grown up Dora the explorer than America Chavez, has the standard female articulation and that includes the single joint elbows.
4.0
Spidey: Spider-Sense going haywire, Doc! We're in some serious trouble!! Strange: Spider-Man!? What's wrong!? America: La Puta Madre, es el hombre que araña... es un superhéroe que si se rompe el culo por la justicia. Strange: we do not reference ElBananero here.
Paint and sculpt
The figure does a great job at capturing Xochtil Gomez's likeness... shame that I can't say the same thing about the Selfie Series. My figure is OK as it has no slop. The weathering on the white of her jacket is nicely done.
5.0
America: The Scarlet Bitch is here, Move it, bug-dude! Spidey: So much pAiN! Wanda: Ah America. Fuck yeah! Come with me child, you will help me reach my children. Strange: Wanda, wait! There is no need for you to destroy multiverses to have children... I know of a way for you to have children without destroying the Multiverse... Wanda: Very Well Stephen, do it!
Accessories
Open hands and a BAF Piece. We could've gotten some Pizza Balls you know...
2.5
Wanda: Yes! Yes! Yes! *moans* Strange: I told! you! it would! be magical!! I have arrived. America: So that's why the movie is called Doctor Strange in the MoM... Let me see! Spidey: Nope! Exposing a minor to pornography is illegal on the 616 universe... America: OK, I'll just go to a different Earth where you aren't as responsible... Spidey: wait, multiple Earths? Could I ask you a favor or 3? Nefty VO: Spidey, no. You won't go to earths where Gwen Stacy or Ben Parker lived. Spidey: Dammit!!
Overall
America gets a 3.83 as her final score. I mean it's not a bad fogure but she's kinda plain and has very little to offer aside a BAF Piece. I hope we get a Comic Book version of America.
I know I made a Spidey 2099 Review in the past... but this is a new review with the new and improved Miguel O'Hara still stuck in the Pizza Spidey Body, when the 2099 stuck in 2020 Miguel O'Hara was using the Kaine body to differentiate O'Hara from Peter Parker.
Miguel was the "inclusive" Spider-Man before being inclusive was cool. In a dystopian future long after the "Heroic Age", Miguel O'Hara became Spider-Man after gaining his powers in a freak accident after a failed attempt at murdering O'Hara. Wearing a suit that has a Spider-Motif combined with El Día de los Muertos, Miguel is the Spider-Man of a new era.
Articulation
O'Hara is built on the Pizza Spidey body, so we know what to expect in this department. As a Spidey Figure, I go for the 3 Poses experiment:
MvC stance
Squat/wallcrawling pose
Web Yo-yo pose
We already know that the Pizza Spidey Buck can get very close to these 3 poses. There are no real improvements to the cape so you know what to expect.
4.0
He's kinda lonely as the only 2099 character... Can we get a Green Goblin 2099 next??
Paint and sculpt
Gone are the super shiny Metallic blues from the previous release. Now the blues are dark purples with a slight metallic sheen. I can barely capture it on the camera due to its subtlety. The reds are dark and flat, which give 2099 a far creepier look than 20th Century Spidey.
I used to hate some elements of the sculpt but they have grown on me.
4.0
A billowing cape or one with a hinged joint could've helped selling the Spider-landing pose.
Accessories
He has his cape and extra hands... he should've gotten an extra webline since he's literally a repaint with zero new parts. I'm not even asking for newly sculpted parts like a Miguel O'Hara head. I know that this is an improvement over the past figure, but it feels like Hasbro isn't trying too hard on these.
4.5
If we had Gripping hands, this pose would be easier to keep.
Overall
Spidey 2099 v 2.0 gets a 4.17 as his final score. I said that Spidey 2099 needed to be at least 20% cooler but 2.0 only managed to get a 12% cooler.
I know I'm going to hate myself for this but to get the TRUE Spidey 2099 we deserve we need a Modified Retro Animated Spidey buck with a hole on its back for the cape. We need multiple capes for display options (the standard cape, a billowing cape, and a fully spread out cape)
Sure it's optimal when one can have Backdrops to display the figures, like say a Turtle Lair, a Technodrome for TMNT. A Black Pyramid or Cat's Lair for Thundercats. Mon*Star's fortress or the Logistically impractical Hawk Haven for Silverhawks. But Super7 made Mon*Star's throne from the Transformation Chamber. We would need Yes-Man, and the Machine that moves Mon*Star's Fortress to align itself with the Moon Star of Limbo Maybe make the pincers from the Transformation Chamber from Styrofoam or foamboard pieces and Foamy sheets to have a kickass display.
Or the J Jonah Jameson desk from ToyBiz and some odd wrestling accessories could Make Commander Stargazer's office. Y'see what I'm getting at? It's making displays from preexisting stuff and going Super low skilled on the arts and crafts department when required.
I'm trying to avoid things like: Building a wooden base with pieces of papier mâché'd foam to elevate a heavily repainted and partially flocked Tim Mee Battle Mountain to truly fit Ultimates Conan or MMPR. That's too arts and craftsy for most folks. It's doable. Making a box shape a bit larger than the base of the Battle Mountain. Cut pieces of foam in a style similar to the Battle Mountain. Papier Mâché the daylights out of the wood and foam, prime, paint and seal matching the Battle Mountain. Apply glue and grass type flock if/where needed.
I'm looking for things similar to:
Imagine using various of these or something closer to Super7 scale, which sadly would require Arts and crafts time, as these are too small. The effects MIGHT work, but not the buildings. They're too tiny. But for those of you crafty enough, here's a tutorial for Kaiju battle buildings.
What I'm trying to say is that sometimes it's great to flex the arts and crafts muscles, but sometimes I just want to grab some stuff off the shelves and call it a day. That's why I push for props to be made outside of dollhouses, because a lot of that stuff is SUPER EXPENSIVE.
The cheapest I've seen couches like this one has been over $30 before shipping from China. They get more expensive if I order from places closer to home. No. I'm not looking for a couch to make Casting Couch jokes... I already made that joke on a rant very similar to this one. I still haven't found a couch suited for the TMNT. I only used that pic to show a non fancy pseudo Victorian couch that most dollhouse accessory vendors sell.
3D printing has been a godsend to those who own a 3D printer and do action figure stuff since they can fabricate stuff... I've gotten a few 3D printed items in the past to spice up displays. But, not everyone has access to a 3D printer and more often than not, 3D printed items require a paintjob afterwards. I'm advocating for ready-made stuff that can be universally used between 1:10 and 1:12 scales that WON'T BREAK THE BANK. Luckily, I've been able to partially satiate that itch with sites like Ringside Collectibles and Wrestling Superstore. No, this isn't sponsored. If it was, I'd have to disclose it in order to get the money from the sponsorship.
This blog doesn't make money... if it did, I'd probably be able to cash that check sometime after 2040... more or less the date I'd expect to get that alleged first check. I'm not doing this for the money. This is more for me to rant, rave, and vent. The fact that theoretically I CAN get paid from blogging is a bonus and not the main incentive. So that theoreticalcash is somethingI cannot count on, since it's been over 13 years and I've never reached the threshold required to get paid. I'm not complaining about it. I'm being transparent. I'm not making money from sponsorships, nor blogging. This is just me as a toy fan commenting on things that I like and in some cases stating where I got them from. I've gotten free items from raffles and contests, yes. I've mentioned those. Also, I mentioned that I had a slight connection to the former Sears Holdings Corporation and TransformCo. when dealing with items that came from Kmart and Sears... all for the sake of transparency.
Then again, I wouldn't be cool with getting sponsorships, because money and free toys are cool, but the whole "I got free stuff from Company X and their product sucks, but I can't say it sucks, because they'll stop giving me free shit" angle stinks... besides I have 19 hardcore fans who read my stuff. Those numbers may scare Mattel, but not any company that is able to give me free shit.
Like I said, If it seems like I'm promoting the two main sites for wrestling accessories is because those sites are making props for action figures accessible. Remember that this is coming from a guy who bought dildos and fleshlights for his action figures, bought a TBLeague action figure because it looks like a TPE doll.
Dolly here is a prop with the condom packet and lube bottle atop the bookshelf next to Nefty-kun.
Just as backdrops can help sell a scene, so do props. A printed forest backdrop is nice, but props make it better... This is totally not a plea for 1:12 or 1:10 trees, but it would be cool to have some.
A printed forest backdrop acting as background with 2 1:12 scaled trees in the foreground and 1 1:12 scaled tree in the middleground and you have a forest scene. You want to go the extra mile, you modpodge the hell out of a bunch of tissue paper and using a Canadian hole punch you can make tons of 🍁 to toss in the ground. But you can achieve a similar effect without the printed backdrop and having 5 prop trees.
I KNOW I push very hard for props, but my reasoning is to spice up all kinds of displays. Back in the MOTUC days, I pushed for fantasy props because that's a HARDER Area to procure items for. I thought since wrestling toys had accessories, modern eras could be easily covered. NOW I realize that it isn't enough. While now I'm focusing more on "current era Earth" props, I still believe that "Fantasy" and "Sci-fi" NEED props, but the problem lies that those two genres are a bit niche in comparison to the more "universal appeal" that "current year Earth" props have.
Since now companies are acknowledging that old farts like us are keeping toys alive, maybe they should try something to appeal to us and to entice "the original intended target audience". But if they keep raising prices and shorting out customers on accessories, they're simply shooting themselves in the foot. Yes, us old farts in 30s-50s have disposable income to spend on toys... but when $70 can get you a whole* videogame, or barely 2 action figures, guess which one parents will buy:
*= base game without DLC.
I'll give you a hint:
The answer is the videogame.
But that's a different rant for another day. Now what does this have to do with props? Simple. Props are more catered towards the adult collectors. Some kids may buy them, bit it's mostly the adult collector who goes for them.
I guess Storm Collectibles is the only company that hasn't made TMNT toys yet...
Playmates has, and the less we talk about Playmates, the better. Mattel has... through Mega Bloks, but they have done TMNT. Obviously, NECA has made TMNT... Keno will come with a scooter. Obviously Super7 has made TMNT (and Playmates hates it). Revoltech made some 2012 Turtles. Bandai did for their SH Figuarts line... I know because those are my Toon Turtles. Hasbro did some Morphinominal Turtles. It seems that storm Collectibles is the only one left to make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys, since Todd McFarlane seems to be the one that's going to make the new movie Turtles... Y'kow, the Seth Rogen Turtles.
The listing shown at toynewsi even mentions role play items and a playset, so I guess these will be 5" kids toys. This is raising some alarms in the back of my head. Kids toys is Playmates territory. I can't believe that Playmates would let McFarlane enter their turf like that. I would understand if Todd was making Injustice Turtles or Batman vs TMNT figures due to the DC connection, but Role Playing items and a Playset? This most likely has to be a mistake...
You know what would be cool? A line of TMNT made in Todd McFarlane style...
4 turtles, Splinter, April, Casey, Shredder, Krang, Rocksteady, Bebop, Foot Soldier, and Karai. Maybe add a couple more characters to be able to have 4 waves, 2 Oversized figures, extra foot soldier 2 packs. Todd can get reuse with mirage recolors, B&W recolors. He has options, but we need to see how the Rogen Turtles will look like.
I had completely forgotten that I had preordered a Valaverse Action Force Sgt. Slaughter. When I got my Pile of Loot in late September (Demona, Spidey and MJ 2pack, and Sarge were among the items in it.)
Action Force was an European Toyline that had Action Man and GI Joe combined. Some time ago, Sarge's likeness was tied to WWE and Hasbro was unable to make him in GI Joe. During that period, Valaverse acquired the Action Force license and somehow managed to get access to the likeness of Robert Rudolph Remus. So I was able to preorder Sarge. Around the time Hasbro announced their offcial Sargeant Slaughter, the Valaverse Sarge hit the Pile of Loot and I didn't notice. So, how do i talk about a non-GI Joe and Non-Wrestling Sgt. Slaughter wothout mentioning Wrestling and GI Joe...
Thank you Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
Now let's tackle the Drill Instructor from Hell, the Terrorist basher and one of the few people who used Kurt Angle's theme before Kurt Angle...
Sarge: Alright maggot, drop and give me 20.
Articulation
Action Force Figures use articulation similar to Marvel Legends and GI Joe classified series. His joints are super stiff almost to the point I was afraid of breaking him at times. Some Wave1 figures had some breakage issues and to my knowledge Valaverse was replacing the broken figures or sending a repair kit to customers.
Other than that, he is really poseable. The only issue is that his jacket can get in the way of some leg articulation.
5.0
Paint and sculpt
Sarge is a stylized version of Bob Remus. I say this because the toy has a "comic book styled jacked" build than the real life Remus, who has a more barrel chested traditional "strongman" build. My only issie with the sculpt is his chin. While Sarge has a prominent chin, this one is a smidge too big. And I mean Popeye the Sailor big... everything else is fantastic. From the neck down he looks like a 6 inch traditional GI Joe figure unlike the more Fortnite-esque Classified figures from earlier waves.
4.5
Even Sarge knows the basics of CQC
Accessories
Sgt. Slaughter is loaded with accessories but is lacking accessories. I mean he has 7 extra hands, his hat, his shades, a HUGE revolver, and a badass knife. But he's missing his riding crop. He even has a hole on his back where an accessory not included with the figure can be plugged in.
5.0
Overall
Sarge gets a 4.83 as his final score. It's a decent figure, but the headsculpt ruins it for me. As am alternative to GI Joe, the Action Force figures are pretty sweet. Unfortunately, these aren't for me. I'm a slightly above casual, but lower than hardcore GI Joe collector and the only figure that caught my interest was Sarge... who will soon be replaced by the official GI Joe Sarge.
Maybe if Valaverse gets the Metal Gear License, I would invest on some figs. Action Force has some cool stuff, but I'm not a huge fan of "Soldier toylines" I could see myself getting some accessory packs for Frank Castle but that's about it.
Gargoyles, the Epic 90s Cartoon from Disney that rivaled WB's Batman the Animated Series as one of the best animated series of the 1990s. NECA is making toys based on the series.
So far Goliath, Demona, Thailog, and Bronx have been released. Broadway, Brooklyn, and Hudson are next in line. Then 2 versions of Xanatos and a Steel Clan robot. We're missing Owen Burnett and Elisa Maza. I believe a Coldstone was teased... but back to the review. I only have Goliath and Demona. I purposely skipped Thailog, since it's the Goliath repaint version and not the armored version, which is a more unique and interesting version.
Goliath and his clan were betrayed 1000 years ago by the humans they swore to protect... (and Demona) They were cursed to a permanent sleep until Castle Wyvern rose above the clouds.
Enter David Xanatos... basically Jonathan Frakes but with asshole levels over 9000. He was all like:
"I want to put this heavy ass castle atop my office building slash residence, because I want people to see it from the sky as their planes are on their way to JFK... just to have the kids be like 'Mommy, look! It's a fairy tale castle! I wonder what king lives there!' Well, it's David Motherfucking Xanatos, you little shit! In fact, Owen, make sure all airlines play a video of Castle Wyvern as they fly by my Castle in the Sky explaining that it is the residence of David Xanatos, the world's most awesome man!"
He did it because it was badass and the whole Gargoyle Curse.
The Spell is broken and Goliath lives again...
Demona's story is far more convoluted. It involves lots of magic and betrayal. Point is Demona hates humans, but loves their toys.
Articulation
Goliath has decent articulation, but due to his massive size and weight, he is slightly limited, like his knees being single joint, which limits some of his posing. He lacks butterfly shoulders, which limit his articulation. He cannot look upwards, which is needed for gliding poses. But what irks me the most is that he can't do one of his most iconic poses if not his most iconic pose...
Keith David's voice: Fuck... Nefty VO: THAT WAS SPAWN! Spawn: It wasn't me! Goliath: I said fuck... Keith David's voice: Who's the leader of the club made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!! Nefty VO: That was definitely Goli- no, it's Spawn! Goliath: Wrong again! Keith David's voice: One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness, it was a world of fear, it was the age of Gargoyles! Nefty VO: That's most definitely Goliath... Goliath: Don't look at me... Spawn: It was me... Nefty VO: Dammit! Keith David's voice: But I will be reborn once more. So even as you die, again and again, I shall return. Born again in this endless cycle i have created. Nefty VO: Holy shot. That sounds so Final Fantasy-ish... CHAOS! Most definitely Chaos... Keith David's voice: Fuck! I didn't expect anyone to guess that one... Nefty VO: to be fair, Goliath, spawn and Chaos had the same voice, just as Cam Clarke's Prince Adam sounds like Leonardo and his He-Man sounds like Master Miller. Realizing that Spawn and Goliath had the same voice fucked my mind back then.
You need to be smart with his tail usage in order to balance such a heavy body with MASSIVE WINGSPAN... His wings are wider than MOTUC Castle Grayskull.
Demona fares a bit better for being lighter and having double hinged knees. With the proper hands she can be displayed in an array of poses, especially using her big guns. The only nitpick i have is that her right leg is way too loose and it resets itself. Guess that I might need Kiki loose joint fix liquid.
G: 4.0
D: 4.5
I could make a Reading Rainbow Reference, but that would be Way too much Star Trek TNG even for Gargoyles.
Paint and sculpt:
I know I mentioned this before, but Goliath has a MOTUC vibe... probably because he was sculpted by Djordje Djokovic, who has sculpted SOME MOTUC figures like Fisto, Gwildor, and I believe NA He-Man and Draego-Man were sculpted by him. I'm not 100% sure on the last two, but there are some similarities in Goliath and those two.
Demona is impressive, she looks both strong and sexy. Even the angry screaming head has some beauty on it. The one thing I dislike is how real metal is used on her earrings and ankle bracelet, while her tiara and bicep bracelet are plastic.
G:4.5
D:4.5
Limited Shelf Space? NECA's Gargoyles has 2 words for you: Fuck your limited shelf space. Yes, i know those ware 5 words, but their MASSIVE wingspan doesn't give a fuck about my rules.
Accessories:
Here NECA Dropped the Ball. Their wings are too damn huge and they lack the "cape style" wings to display them without the wings open.
We have to buy other figures to get these. Bronx has Goliath's. Thailog is shit out of luck. Demona has to wait for Xanatos. Brooklyn and Broadway are Shit out of Luck as well. See what I'm getting at. But let's talk about what they have Instead of what they lack.
Goliath has a book, a Jalapeño, extra head, and hands.
Demona has 2 different guns, extra hands, extra faceplate, the Grimorum.
The reason they have so little in accessories is their frigging huge wings.
G: 4.5
D: 4.5
Once they Make Elisa Maza, the Boob kick shall come.
Overall
They are not bad figures, but they are victims of logistics. NECA would've had to go to a higher price point in order to deliver the perfect releases we needed. While I don't like the choice of spreading accessories with other figures, the other option would've made me skip them.
G: 4.33
D: 4.5
While Demona is technically the better toy, I like Goliath a bit more.
Dove, the ones from the soap and beauty products, not the Chocolate one are teaming up with women in Gaming and unreal engine to "change the game and boost diversity".
I'm face-palming for real as I read this headline, because Dove, of all people is "trying to fight for women" in the realm of videogames, when they are one of the biggest exploiters of women's insecurities. Even the pic used to promote this idea from Dove is kinda lacking in diversity.
Hell, even the actual black person is one with Albinism. The only black person is one that looks way whiter than I do, and I'm rather white passing. Somehow this obviously racist promotional pic got approved. Yikes in tights!
But once again, this bullshit, because there's no other term to describe this, is a bunch of slacktivists DEMANDING that videogames must cater to their whims instead of actually making games.
They're offering COURSES on how to make diversity... the same people that approved the Ultra white "diverse" pic above are the ones that are going to teach diversity. Again, Freaking classes and not actually making games. This pisses me off way more than it should. It's not a game changer. It boosts nothing, because most folks will take the lectures and when the time comes the lessons won't be applied. Getting flashbacks to Activision's Virtual eugenics tool.
We'll get the "size 0" characters this campaign despises.
Pictured: Probably a Size 0 according to this campaign.
I'm going to do a small search on the measurements of various videogame characters and see if they are indeed a size zero:
Chun Li: B: 34.6" W: 22.8" H: 35"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
So, she's a size 0 on her lower body. Her breast might cause some issues with a size 0 top. You won this round Dove.
Cammy: B: 33.9" W: 22.4" H: 34.6"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35
I expected Cammy to be a size 0... but didn't expect her boobs to be too big for size 0.
Sakura: B: 31.5" W: 23.6" H: 33.1"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Sakura is a 00... being an athletic Japanese teen might be a reason. (Japanese women tend to be smaller than Western Women.)
Karin: B: 32.7" W: 22.4" H: 33.5"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
A size 0... once again "boobs are problematic" for the full size 0 treatment.
Rose: B: 37.8" W: 22.4" H: 33.9"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Rose needs custom made tops by boobs alone she's a 12!? Otherwise she's a size 0...
R. Mika: B: 38.2" W: 28.3" H: 36.6"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35" Rainbow Mika is a size 2... on her hips. Waist is size 0 but her boobs are bigger than Rose's putting her in size 12.
Dammit, Capcom! It's kinda hard to defend you from the slacktivists...
Now I'll look towards SNK's King of Fighters Hopefully, I can get bigger sizes here.
Leona: B: 33.1" W: 23.6" H: 34.3"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Aside her breasts, she's a size 0. Dammit! I might have underestimated women's sizes.
Vice: B: 35.4" W: 22.8" H: 34.6"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Dammit, KOF, you're failing me...
Athena: B: 32.7" W: 22.8" H: 32.3"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35
Aside her breasts, Athena is a 00. I know she's one of the most petite fighters.
Shermie: B: 36.2" W: 24.8" H: 34.2"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Only at the hips... Shermie is bigger than size 0...
Mai:
B: 33.5" W: W: 21.3" H: 35.4"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Huh? Mai is barely outside of 0 aside the waist.
Yuri:
B: 33.5" W: 22.8" H: 33.9"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Like Athena, she's a 00 with breast being the sole exception.
SNK has failed me! I need the bigger guns... DoA! Come on down!
Ayane: B: 37" W: 21" H: 34"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35
Again, size 00 aside boobs. I'm starting to feel like the written measurements don't necessarily match the game models.
Leifang: B: 34" W: 22" H: 33"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35
I know DoA fighters have larger boobs, but this is going the complete opposite way that I expected. Leifang is a 00.
Tina: B: 37" W: 24" H: 35"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Ignoring her boobs, she's a size 0.
Kasumi: B: 35" W: 21" H: 33"
Size 0 Measurements:
B: 32" W: 24" H: 35"
Another 00 aside her boobs!? Let's give it a spin and say that she isn't a size 0.
Let's look at the first lady of gaming:
Samus: B: 34" W: 24" H: 36"
Only at the hips she's a 0... et tu Nintendo?
Classic Lara Croft: B: 34" W: 24" H: 35"
Really? Huh... Lara isn't as big as I remember...
Tifa you're my only hope:
B: 37" W: 24" H: 35"
You have failed me. I am unable to defend videogame company designs... with your big boobs and tiny waists and hips!! Not cool you big boobed monster!!
I joked that SF6's Marisa was a size 0, but with the disappointment that nearly every other videogame character with different athletic body types is a size 0, I'm going to guess she's a 4 despite being almost 7 feet and built like a Zangief. So I'll concede the size 0 remark... on females. Because Male characters come in different sizes with Mario being an anomaly, not the norm. The norm is very muscular men. Whether it's gymnastic/swimmer muscles or hyperroided out beings that put 70s Schwarzenegger to shame, the variety is much less than the slacktivists claim.
Going back to the picture:
Which of the right hand characters makes you want to play their game?
Be honest here.Which of those designs makes you want to play their game... I await your answer...
Still waiting...
OK I'll go: The fat Latina is the only character that looks remotely interesting for a Fork knife Fortnite Reject. A few more tweaks and she could be an actual playable character. Of coures, I expect an asexual strong female character whose only struggles are the player constantly dying due to bad controls.
It's obvious that all the characters were not only designed by someone who shouldn't be designing characters, but all are made in the same Fortnite style. The rest look like Non-Player characters.
Albino Lady looks like a recolor of Generic thug #5 for "insert superhero here" game. At best she could be a mission giver in a GTA game. Unfortunately, these rely on the stereotypical trope of the Evil Albino. They could try to subvert this, but the design doesn't help. Her design screams GTA clone character, which limits her possibilities. They made the albino black woman an "urban" character. So much diversity we're back on stereotypes, which is not cool.
Green-clad Girl, well... it's with standard characters with zero neurodivergence or disabilities and players throw a variety of insults online, having a character with neurodivergence or disability would bring forth a ton more insults. The design itself works for a Zelda-clone, but I'm worried that if this character were to star in a game, the company would push the "look at us how progressive we are for having a protagonist with Down's Syndrome" narrative instead of promoting how kickass their game is. It would feel kinda icky... the promotion and using a virtual person's Down's Syndrome as a criticism meatshield.
Now here is the question:
Why are Women so weak that they require that "in order to enjoy game X, the main character must look like me" crap? I understand that for games with create a character, but then again, wheelchairs are a no go on Tony Hawk and Wrestling games. I'm not an anthropomorphic blue hedgehog and I can enjoy Sonic games. I'm not a 21 year old British archeologist with a nice rack and I can enjoy Tomb Raider, which I'm replaying the Survivor Trilogy and going for 100% single player stuff. I didn't need Ellie or Abby to be like me in order to be disappointed with TLOU2. I made an avatar of ME on WWE2K16 and I didn't enjoy that game! Hell, in over 40 years of videogame history, fictional Puerto Ricans that are TRUE PR Born Boricuas and not Nuyoricans are scarce:
Elizabeta Torres and Mallory Bardas (Roman's girlfriend) from GTA 4 are all I've got and there's no male characters. Where's MY representation!?
Back on topic:
Yes, they're correct that Videogames tend to make aesthetically pleasing women that despite being voluptuous, they are still petite. More variety is recommended. That's the only thing I can agree with the campaign. Their methodology is where I fundamentally disagree. Unilever and Epic games are working together, then MAKE A FREAKING GAME!! I mean a REAL game, not a Roblox game.
The partnership with epic and usage of the Unreal Engine makes for real games. Making MUGEN xharacters requires far more skill than making a Roblox game. Especially since Roblox is made for kids. The fact that Unilever paid a third party to make them a Roblox game is hilariously bad. They should be investing with Epic to make an actual non-Fortnite game. It's easy for them to say "You should do this not that" than actually do it. This doesn't apply to me since I'm not demanding others to make a videogame for me representation... arrrgh! It's almost 2023, but waiting for others to "save you from sexist designs" is insulting to women. Y'all want to "change the game" well, become the change and make the games you want to see! But all you're doing is getting used by Dove to sell more beauty products.
If they make a game for real, cool... for now, this reeks of hollow gesture used to sell beauty products to insecure women
It makes sense to have the Super7 Mousers as an Addendum to the NECA review. Created by Baxter Stockman, these little robots were supposed to kill rats, but they were a cover-up for Stockman's criminal activities. Now they're cannon fodder for the Turtles and Friends.
Articulation
Mouth, head, and thigh swivel. It isn't as great as NECA, but it's functional.
3.5
Nefty-kun: Oh great, Mousers! And not the Mary kind... Yes, that was a Cobra Kai Reference... and out of respect I won't make any Wax On Wax Off jokes. In any case I need to kick some Metal Shrieker ass before the become Robutt Blasters!
Paint and sculpt
The "new Mousers" are the same as the one from Baxter. The Battle Damaged ones have bew sculpts on the head... the torso is just a tampo. They added some silver drybrushing to the scuffed mousers, which is an OK touch. Other than that, they're mousers.
4.5
Awaken my Zzzzervantzzzz! Ayayaya!! Where'zzz my Azzzztec Dubzzzztep with Muzzzlim Chantzzz!? Nefty VO: You didn't earn that JoJo reference...
Accessories
Here is where Super7 dropped the Ball. For $55 we got:
5 Mousers with 2 of them getting a new head
2 turtles, same as Splinter's
1 rat with bandana
1 mouser controller
2 sai
1 ooze canister
1 slice of Pickle and pepperoni pizza...
When you compare that to NECA's $40 Mousers that had
4 intact Mousers with more articulation
1 Battle Damaged Mouser
2 broken beyond repair Mousers
6 rats
1 wedge of cheese
1 slice of pizza
A spy fly
NECA's cost less and we got more newly tooled stuff... aside some of the rats, everything else is 100% new tooling. With Super7, the only new pieces are:
Rat
Pizza
Ooze
Remote
Battle damaged head (2 pieces) everything else is reused.
So, it feels a little bit more underwhelming.
4.0
Splinter: You expected this pizza to be eaten by Nefty-kun, Kono Supurintaa da!
Overall
The Mousers get a 4.0 as their final score. The math says 4.0, but I believe it should be lower. Tons of reuse and pointless accessories, paired with underwhelming mousers is a bad combo...
These need to be revisited and expanded upon... as I stated on an earlier rant. I don't hate them, but I don't love them... they could've been better.
