Feb 28, 2021

Final Fantasy VII: Betrayal by Square Enix.

 Wutai's infamous Ninja is getting a DLC all of her own... Yuffie has an adventure in Midgar as Cloud is running around cross-dressing, escorting ghetto florists, playing a box breaking game, and riding bikes with super thirsty understudies... only on PS5

Yup... a PS4 GAME gets a DLC for PS5...

Let's put aside the PS5 bullshit. With that said, Episode Yuffie is an example of what FFVIIR SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!

No Kingdom Hearts bullshit, just expanding the lore of the game. Had Nomura opted for, I DON'T KNOW, HAVE US PLAY AS BARRET AND TIFA DURING THE AFTERMATH OF REACTOR 5!! As a way to expand the story... Don't give me the it couldn't be done Bullshit, since we've controlled Barret with the whole section under Wedge's House. We've controlled Tifa when rescuing Cloud from getting his black cherry popped.

While Cloud was locating children, killing frogs and breaking boxes, we could've had Tifa and Barret playing detective and teying to locate Corneo's guys AND Tifa deciding to get the info out of Corneo on her own. This would've been a lot better than the Kingdom Hearts ending.

Hell, even an Episode Roche would've been an interesting choice. The point is that expanding Beyond the original game IS GOOD... now hiding it behind some DLC BULLSHIT is BAD!!

On the other hand, this Cell phone FFVII GAME seems more interesting than Final Fantasy VII Remake:
Ever Crisis.
It's a mobile Abridged version of the entire Compilation... not an Abridged parody, so don't mention TFS.

I meant like the Portable FFXV... 
But with stuff from BEFORE CRISIS, CRISIS CORE, 7, ADVENT CHILDREN, DIRGE OF CERBERUS and more...
Wonder if a Switch port is in the cards.

Revenge is bad, mmkay? It's not fun, guy!

 I finished my revisit to The Last of Us part 2 in order to give it a fair review. As you may know, this game has been very controversial, mostly due to narrative choices.

"You're just a racist, homophobic neckbeard, who can't stand strong women!"

This is the kind of BS that blocks any criticism of this game. Wouldn't be surprised if that was part of Druckmann's plan.

Most of the criticism against this game is literally about the story... Not simply about Joel dying, but how many things didn't make sense or were implemented poorly.

There is a HUGE disconnect between the narrative and Gameplay. The characters deal with pain, loss, PTSD in the cutscenes. Once I'm in control, I'm forced to mow down hundreds of non-infected. Beat them with a steel pipe with some scissors taped to it, blow them up with impromptu land mines or pipe bombs... coping with trauma! 

Abby's muscles are bullshit. 

No one else... well aside some Hammer wielding Brute  Seraphites, look as big as her. HELL, even the game itself likes to remind you that she is freakishly big. 
And this was something tacked later on.

B-but *insert stupid gameplay element here*.
I've already mentioned that Gameplay and Narrative have a huge disconnect. Also, gameplay throws logic out the window.
B-but the cows and protein!
Military group with thousands living on thw stadium need to ration food. Also, if the WLF had enough resources for Abby to easily become She-Hulk, wouldn't it make sense to have ALL OF THE SOLDIERS LOOKING LIKE CANSECO? Punching infected left and right.
So, she used steroids...
OK, Outbreak day was 9/26/2013... the game is in 2038. Most steroids have a shelf life of 2-3 years. TLOU2 is 25 years-ish from outbreak day. There is no way the steroids would even work... don't you dare invoke the stupid pill popping game mechanic.
But real live women have gotten that big!
In controlled conditions with a healthy diet, healthy regimen, and canseco juice... and it's hard. Now add being 20+ years into a world ravaged by the fungal apocalypse. It ramps up the difficulty a lot much more.

But her mass is symbolic of her state of mind... just as Ellie's changed for the...
Let  stop you right there, Zack Snyder. I get the idea of Abby "becoming a monster" in order to get "justice" and she begins to shed mass as her world crumbles around her as a side effect of her vengeance. It's a nice idea, poorly executed. Not to mention that it keeps the horribly sexist notion that in order for women to be empowered, they must become more masculine.

Now that I got Abby's muscles out of the way, let's move on...

Revenge is bad, mmmkay!
Both playable characters are at different points of their revenge plan. Only Abby received Satisfaction... partially, but more on that later. Then her life unraveled. Ellie on the other hand has her life unravel AND IS DENIED ANY satisfaction. The game forces you to be violent WITHOUT ANY OTHER REAL CHOICE and then admonishes you for such actions.  Which brings me to my next problem:

The dual playable characters was badly implemented:
I was supposed to see both sides of the story and get how much of a funhouse mirror both sides were. Problem is that I have NO REASON TO CARE ABOUT ABBY and her story is Half the game.

Personally, I think we should have started with Abby and her crew further back on their journey to Jackson in order for the player to know the Salt Lake Crew and better prepare us when we have to control Ellie. Humanizing Abby BEFORE the Pro Am Tour.
 The way the game does it, males people not want to see Abby's side. All they see is roid rage bitch killed Joel, she must die!

What I'm going to suggest is a crazy idea.
Maybe we should've played the "full game" as Abby then after beating the game we'd unlock Ellie's side of the story with the Third option being a combination of both stories summarized in something close to the game we got.

Joel Miller:
His death sucked, because Joel acted out of character and it royally sucked, because he was nerfed and fridged. Forcing a character to act completely opposite to what they are in order to serve the plot is a sign of mediocre writing.
His death was expected, but it was cowardly done in a cutscene. There's no real satisfaction of beating the monster. It happened by sheer coincidence (badly written plot).
The Flashback scenes are a grim reminder of how this game could've been much better:
STEVEN THE STEGOSAUR!!



Sapphic Fury:
One of the better aspects of the game is Ellie and Dina's relationship. I've seen some people whine about Lesbians as criticism of the game. To be fair, it's only the "behind the scenes" stuff that is cringy. The actual game mostly does a great job about not making a big deal of it. Except when it tries to make a big deal out of it with the mandatory "putting bigots in their place" scene.

The Lev asking Abby if she wanted to ask about Lev's issue regarding him being formerly known as Lilly was unintentionally funny. It's right after some Seraphites deadname him by using the name Lilly. Lev asks Abby if she wants to talk about that and Abby says no. The intention was to show that Abby was woke and not simply swole. The problem is that it felt like the whole encounter with those Seraphites was to have that conversation. Which makes it look like Druckmann was trying too hard to show how woke he is. On one hand, it was pleasant that we avoided whatever preachy speech Lev had prepared. On the other hand, well, you just read my issue with Druckmann patting himself on the back.

Now going back to Ellie and Dina. The game spends way too much time making us care for Ellie and Dina, and not so much for Abby and the friends she lost. This creates the illusion that this game is about a lesbian and a butch fighting over a man.

I made a reference to Zack Snyder earlier and I need to correct myself... Druckmann can direct dramatic scenes better than Zack Snyder. But the Revenge is bad angle with a disjointed "dual stories" with an obvious focus on a series of scenes make the story not as good as it should be.

So, in order to close the story section of the review it gets a 5.0
Gameplay
Very similar to the first game with a hop option and going prone like we were some sort of Hard Viper. Combat CAN BE FUN, but it gets a bit boring rather fast when you can Overpower everything with Stealth.
But the game has many cheap one-shot deaths... most of mine involved the Rat King...

Not that Rat King... but yeah. One wrong step and boom insta-death...
8.5

Music and sounds:
Here the game excels. The voice actors do a great job despite the material they had.
And yes, That includes Laura Bailey who did a great job at voicing a shitty character. The music, as little as there is works greatly. Then again it's Gustavo Santaolalla.
10

Controls:
The controls are responsive and feel mostly natural. The only times they're "unresponsive" is when the game forces you to go slow (hiding loadtimes).
9.0

Graphics: 
As it has been with their more realistic games, Naughty Dog has done an amazong job with the graphics.
This is the only noticeable graphical hiccup I found on my entire playthrough.
9.5

Fun factor:
Yeah, this game has zero of that. Naughty Dog literally made sure of that. Sure, there are some entertaining battle moments and some engaging scenes, but most of the game you're trudging along a harsh landscape with a hollow shell of Ellie, or the Unlikable Bulk Abby. Then the ending leaves you disappointed...
7.5

Overall:
This game is so hard to properly review. Kinda reminds me of Death Stranding... in technical aspects is well done. Gameplay feels like a copy from a previous game. Story is not that great, but you can feel how the writer stroked his ego as he furiously pats himself on the back as if he was some sort of genius. Being as humanly fair as possible: TLOU2 gets a 8.2 and the biggest failure was the storytelling. It's a decent game, but many of the awards it received were bullshit.
Ellie: You're going to give me all the awards.
or else I'll claim you're a racist, sexist, homophobic neckbeard, who likes to get off to little girls like me!

I almost forgot that part... when people brought up the flashbacks where Joel and Ellie interact with each other felt more lively and natural than the rest of the game, the counterattack was calling them pedos. Weird logic, but then again, these people ignore how well received the TLOU1 DLC: Left Behind was received AND it had a gay Ellie.
But yeah, like I said at the start, Druckmann seems to be using "LGBTQ representation" as a sort of "Shield against criticism".  This "criticism shield" MIGHT HAVE influenced the judges for certain awards. From a technical aspect, this game did some great things. The accessibility options are remarkable. Sadly, they are wasted on a game that punishes you for playing it. Not by being NES DIFFICULT, but by using cheap parlor tricks to emotionally manipulate the player into hating the journey and THE GAME...

Feb 25, 2021

Street Fighter has sunken to a new low:

 Ryu and Chun Li have ctossed over to...

Fork Knife!!

That clip sums up my feelings. I know taking potshots at Fortnite is the lowest hanging fruit kind of thing. But Fortnite DESERVES some of the hate.

This image is the perfect description of all that's wrong with Fortnite.
They take characters from different properties and show ZERO RESPECT to them.

Why in the Hell would Kratos or Ryu use Guns!? It doesn't make sense to have them.
The Contra Guys, Solid Snake, Megaman X, Dante, any of the Resident Evil Team, Nathan Drake, Ellie, or Roid Rage Golfer Abby would make far much more sense than Ryu or Kratos. Hell even Sam Porter Bridges makes more sense to have in Fortnite since he builds stuff and shoots people. 

Unlike, say, Super Smash bros. where the characters play like the characters but adapted to the Smash gameplay, or let's go obscure and SAY Ehrgeiz, where the FF7 characters (read Cloud and Tifa) were adapted from their turn based origins into a 3d fighter. In Fortnite, your character may LOOK like Ryu, but it's NOT Ryu. It doesn't act in any way Ryu would. Epic doesn't care about respecting the characters. All they care is how can they lure more suckers to pay for the upgrades on their "free game".
But not all the blame lies in Epic. In this case, Crapcom is to blame for whoring themselves out!
Akuma on Tekken was made tastefully and respectful to Akuma. This... well, if Yoshinori Ono hadn't left Capcom last year; I would've blamed him for this and wish to metaphorically kick him in the dick.
As long as the properties are treated respectfully, crossovers are fine.


Feb 24, 2021

At last Both MOTU Cartoons had a toy reveal!!

 The following images have been making the rounds on Facebook:

Battle Cat looks... how would the infamous Mattel guy (Who is a liar and a douche) say? "Anime Hyper Detailed". I have to be brutally honest right here, aside the weird color on his paw armor, I'm digging the design for Battlecat.
 He-Man on the other hand, well he doesn't look like He-Man.

I'm curious about this series. I'm getting a bit of New Adventures vibe from it.

At least the designs don't look like clothes straight out of the rack like other bastardizations... Right, Noelle?

But enough shitting on Noelle Stevenson shitting on She-Ra... Figures for Kevin Smith's Revelation have been, uh, revealed.


Without further ado, I present to you:

Shit, after 19 years, Mattel discovered double joints! Also, the proportions say 200X but the lack of detail says Filmation.
Out of the four characters presented the clear winner is Skeletor. It's the same state really close to what a Skeletor should look like.
I'm not entirely sure about that battle kept kind of looks like it's reusing the Motu Classics body which is a good thing so I could buy a couple of possibly cheaper MOTUC compatible felines for customs.
He-Man's not horrible but it's not great either. I understand the swapping of the cross, but I don't agree with it. I'm not so sure about this sword because it looks a bit wimpy. I would probably buy third-party casts of it due to reasons.

I was going to make a long-winded rant on Evil Lyn and her costume not resembling anything MOTU, but then The Fire Nation attacked...

I HATE the Evil Lyn redesign!

There is nothing about her that screams Evil Lyn. Pretty much everyone has been making Avatar related jokes with Evil Lyn. There is nothing there that resembles Evil Lyn.
I could understand them avoiding the boob accentuating horns/bones from past versions. But, they could've used the shapes from her original design and made a pattern on her tunic, that would reference the ornate leaves of her original dress/breastplate. Sadly, it's too late for any changes... but that redesign is bad! I'm tempted to buy a sketchbook and make some quick doodles that would've made a more Evil-Lyn, uh, Evil-Lyn.


Feb 23, 2021

Walmart is getting a Super Shredder variant:


 It's not costums accurate though. It isn't the Chef Boiardi black one. It's a... I'd better show ya.

This brand New version of Super Shredder is called Shadow Master.

What's a Shadow Master?

This almost looks Screen Accurate.
Far much better than the costume accurate
figure.

There is another TMNT Exclusive, which will be like a Loot Crate, but on Walmart. It's based on the pinball game art. Supposedly it'll have a Shredder too. This would be perfect for me, since I need a Toon inspirwd Shredder for my NECA (and SH FIGUARTS) Toon TMNT.

Seriously, NECA should give us the option to buy a bunch of Mousers and Roadkill Rodneys.

NECA Loot Crate Madness

 Are you ready kids?

Aye aye, Captain!

Sorry, sorry! Got mixed up on the references here! It's not Spongebob related. It's TMNT related. I lost track of my train of thought and ended up in Spongebob for some reason and that sounds dirty as hell...


But NECA is doing some exclusive TMNT Lootcrates:
-Movie
-Videogame
-Mirage
-Toon

Each has an exclusive figure:
Toon has a Donatello variant, Mirage has a Mutant Shredder, Videogame has Armaggon, and movie has:

Freaking Danny... Right now I'm torn:
On one hand, I think it's a dick move to hide New characters behind a crappy exclusive system like Loot Crate. I'm not calling Loot Crate crappy; I'M calling crappy the idea to hide new characters behind this system. I don't mind variants like Spirit Splinter or Easter bunny disguise Bebop and Rocksteady. Had this been April or Vanilla Ice, I would've demanded the torches and pitchforks... but it's freaking Danny.
 I get why he's there because he's generic teenage kid, not exactly a mega hot seller. But I question Armaggon and Mutant Shredder as Loot Crate exclusives...

Are we getting Redone Mirage Turtles? Because I'd welcome a redone set of turtles and April. Mirage Splinter and Casey would be great... hell, Casey is almist there, since Toon Casey is heavily inspired by Mirage.

Gonna call it now: 2022 Keno the delivery boy will be a Loot Crate exclusive... or worse: Tatsu

Feb 22, 2021

Making a(nother) case for Venus De Milo.

 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles suffered a dark period between the tail end of the cartoon until the 2003 reboot. The dark era is known as Ninja Turtles The Next Mutation. This dark era spawned the "true fifth turtle"...

Sorry Zack, we ain't talking about you... though I wouldn't mind a NECA Zack the 5th Turtle. We're talking about the Female Turtle hated by Peter Laird, Venus de Milo.

I understand that people dislike TNM... I do to an extent... I do have a NSFW anecdote about TNM... so, High school... TNM was on and it sucked donkey balls. So my friends and I used to mock the show, so we made up crude lyrics. I don't remember most of them. I do remember one line being about Venus having boobs. But the one line I DEFINITELY remember is "Na-na-na-na ninja, Ninja Turtles!" Which *I* changed to "Sientate en un dildo, Ninja Turtles!" (Go sit on a dildo, Ninja Turtles) The gist of the song was that Venus came, ruined the show and that you should go screw yourself for not liking it, hence the go sit on a dildo chorus line. Point is that my friends and I used to mess with that song so much that one of my friends accidentally sang our version while his kid siblings were watching the show. That was awkward.

Venus would give us a Female Turtle Body that could be reused on IDW's Jennika, who could use parts that could be repurposed for a Karai or Shogun April. The Female Turtle Body could also be reused for the 5th Turtle April from Archie comics... yes, I know that 5th Turtle April lookwd exactly the same as Raphael, but with white headband and pads. It wouldn't be the first time the toymakers would deviate from the source material.

Also, wouldn't a Jennika/Venus tag team display look badass?

The idea is to show that the line is not "vintage 2.0", which would be boring. Because there are two companies makong TMNT toys and they're practically making the exact same figures. NECA has the advantage of being able to get popular folks from the toon. Heck! They are even sneaking into the toyline with Ace Duck. And let's face it: NECA pretty much has a TMNT monopoly:
They have:
-Movie versions
-Mirage versions
-Videogame versions
-Cartoon versions

This is why Super7 NEEDS to step up.
Right now I have no idea how the Thunder tank is doing and if it doesn't do well there's no chance in hell that Ninja Turtles fans would get the Party Wagon.

I just had a crazy idea: since Super7 can make 7 inch scale TMNT and Power Rangers... we can get the TMNT/Power Rangers Ultimates crossover in a sub-line of their own.

Every 2-3 months a Pre-order for a single two pack is made. Each pack would have a Turtle and a Ranger. That way you get the core 5 Space Rangers And Ninja Turtles TNM without "polluting" their respective main lines.

Now that Peter Laird has no power here, we should explore that which he banned. Venus has potential to be good, and as she is, she HAS A DEDICATED fanbase. Let's bring her back, while correcting the failings of  TNM. 

Feb 21, 2021

This Yu-Gi-Oh! Card is for people who screw the rules because they have money.

 The Blue-Eyes White Dragon is getting a fancy card release. Worth $1000 a 99.9 Silver card featuring the Mightiest Monster of all will be released in a limited wave of 1000 cards. There will be a one card per customer limit in order to avoid Seto Kaiba buying them all.


Suddenly, the Thundertank doesn't seem that bad.

Super7 TMNT and "filling the gaps"

 A while back I wondered about Super7 and the "Classicizer". There I pondered if Toon based characters could be toon accurate, or if they had to be filtered through "the Classicizer".  I used the Punk Frogs as an example back then.

 What about Granitor? Is he worthy of a 100% new body or is he stuck being a partially modified Traag repaint?

How about Karai? She could be made starting from a Ninja Newscaster April and Shogun April as a base. I know what you're thinking. Playmates RARELY DOES the MIX-AND-MATCH feature. They simply repaint the whole figure and call it a variant/character. Since now each figure has way more parts than they did back then, I thought we could exploit it how to reuse Key Parts. It kinda keeps the tail of the line excess of odd repaints spirit, but with a bit of ingenuity to make old feel new.

Of course I'm just assuming that true accurate to the source material looks cannot be done for characters who didn't have a vintage toy. True accuracy can be weird because Toy Traag doesn't exactly look like a man made out of stone. We cannot have a highly mismatched pair of Stone Warriors.

One can only wonder as Super7 is keeping their cards too close to their chest. Let's see what happens to waves 3 and 4.


 

Feb 20, 2021

Top 15 DC Characters that I want McFarlane to make:

 The title is self explanatory. 15 DC Characters that I want McFarlane to make.

15: Aquaman: (nu52)
The ruler of Atlantis. This look is close enough to the classic look WITHOUT evoking flashbacks to the Superfriends version.

14: SHAZAM!: (nu52)
The design, like Aquaman's is close to the original, but has added details that Todd loves.

13: Hal Jordan Green Lantern:
We are getting a John Stewart GL, but while John is a great GL, some people prefer Hal Jordan. I want both.

12: Hawkgirl:
It's no secret I want to assemble the DCAU JL in a realistic style. That's why Hawkgirl is here instead of Hawkman.

11: Martian Manhunter:
Again, it's because of JL DCAU that I want him sooner than later

10: Plastic Man:
Fuck you, that's why... I just want Plastic Man. No specific reason other than owning a McFarlane Plastic Man.

9: Swamp Thing:
A McFarlane Swamp Thing would kick all sorts of ass, because it's Swamp Thing.

8: Static:
Mattel failed us by not giving us a DCUC Static. It's up to Todd to correct Mattel's Mistake.

7: Lex Luthor:
He stole 40 cakes. That's as many as four times 10 and that's bad. 

6: Sinestro:
We need a villain for the Lantern Corps.

5: Captain Cold:
The idea is to get a villain for Flash that isn't Zoom or Grodd.

4: Cheetah:
I'm pretty sure that Todd would do her justice. Also we need a villain for Wonder Woman, when we get a normal one.

3: Black Manta: 
One of the two main Aquaman villains. Also, I'm not a huge fan of Ocean Master.

2: General Zod:
Insert KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!! joke here. But yes, I want Zod, because of kneeling.

1: Deathstroke the Termimator:
A multi-hero villain that would look incredibly badass if done by Todd's people. The Arkham version would be preferred.

I hope everyone notices the lack of characters that belong to a specific group...

It is because I want to avoid leaning into the Bat Shaped crutch.

Feb 19, 2021

Marvel Legends: Scientology might be angry wave.

 Xenmu, the Titan is the BAF of the bad guys wave. He is also rumored to have been the inspiration for Scientology's Xenu.


The wave itself is decent. I don't care for ALL of them, but I might get them anyway...
Arcade:
I  been jonesing for this guy so badly that I even pushed for playsets just to get him.
Doctor Doom:
This is one of the few I don't care about.
My Doctor Doom is green clad.

Dormammu:
Hopefully this means a Classic Dr. Strange is coming soon... I missedd out on the BaF, so this will be my Dormammu.

Lady Deathstrike:
While a bit underwhelming, she's a huge improvement over the ToyBiz one.
Hood:
The other one I don't care about.

A.I.M. Head Scientist:
Because Modok needs henchmen.

Red Skull:
Nice! The most iconic version of Red Skull in Toy form... 

Walgreens will be getting Quasar... who I'll not see because local Walgreens are full with Magik, Emma, and Moonstar figures.

Now if we could get a Baron Mordo would be really great...

Choose your Destiny: Mortal Kombat 2021 trailer thoughts.

 Mortal Kombat reboot of 2021 dropped a trailer.


I DON'T HATE IT... but I don't love it either. Aside Cole Young  (whose name doesn't sound ANYTHING LIKE KUAI LIANG), Kano "being a Good Guy", Mileena being there for some reason, the excessive focus on Scorpion and Sub-Zero, it was decent. Even Supergirl's black Jimmy Olsen playing Steve Harvey playing Jax was decent. I'm mentioning that Supergirl's Jimmy Olsen is black because now in order for being Not racist, you must see color And react differently to people because of it. But back to Mortal Kombat, it was nice to se "fatalities" and gore... what worried me is the massive shit they are taking on the MK lore.

And that seems to always be the main problem with me and most adaptations... adherence to the source material. I get it that making the game straight up would be incredibly boring. At the same time, that doesn't mean you can make weird stuff up like say:
-Ryu and Ken are grifters selling nerf guns to terrorists.
-Iori Yagami and Mai Shiranui are dating, while Terry Bogard is a government agent.

A good example of not following the game to a T but respecting the Lore, Mortal Kombat: You know the good one despite it being PG-13... no, not Annihilation, you doughnut. 

This reboot is taking WAY TOO MANY LIBERTIES with the Lore and that bothers me. Liu Kang is not a supporting character. He's the protagonist. Shang Tsung is not "Emperor of Outworld". He's a herald at best... The only "cool factor" this movie has are the fatalities and even these seem underwhelming due to the realism in the gore on the current games.
Take out the gore and the movie is just as bad as Annihilation.

Feb 18, 2021

Rockstar will focus on single player experiences...

 Or so said the Take-Two Interactive  CEO... as well as Multiplayer experiences. 

Whoa, Arnie, calm down! Let's look at this as close to factual as possible:
According to Wikipedia's List of gaames made by Rockstar games: there are 14 titles on PS4:
  8 out of those are PS2 Originals on PS4. Basically digital ports 
L.A. Noire and GTAV who were ported from PS3... that makes 10.
GTA Online and Red Dead Online make 12.
L.A. Noire VR Cases, a redo of certain L.A. Noire cases for PS VR makes 13
Number 14 is Red Dead Redemption 2.

One COULD ARGUE THAT R* IS INDEED focused on single player if we discard the fact that 8 out of 14 games are literally ports of PS2 games. 2 out of 14 are PS3 ports. 
Only RDR2 being the sole truly made for PS4 game on the list. Yes, I know it also came on XBOne. Everything else was pure ports. Also, RDR2 was released in 2018. We're in 2021. No single player DLC or real updates for GTAV, or RDR2. Everything has been for Online. 
Yeah, Mr. CEO... what do you got to say for yourself!

Precisely, Mr. Schwarzenegger. How can we believe that Rockstar Games is focused on single player when they basically have been focused only on multiplayer?
From 2013-2021 we got only 1 true PS4 game...
Now for something less disturbing:


Feb 17, 2021

TIGER Electronics games are nostalgic and weird

 Bringing back some 90s Nostalgia, Hasbro rereleased some TIGER Electronics LCD games. What are these? Basically the West's attempt at copying the success of Nintendo's Mr. Game and Watch series but way deep into the Gameboy era. I got The Little Mermaid, which I had actually played as a tween, and X-Men, which I wanted but Mom said no. On the flipside, she DID get me the Konami TMNT LCD game.


These were the poor man's alternative to actual video games. Some of them were fun despite their simplistic nature. Others are so incredibly frustrating that you have to resist the urge of tossing the game to the nearest wall hoping it explodes on impact. (X-Men is giving me that feeling) As I was saying, each game has a unique control system. For example, in X-Men, the D-pad controls the direction of Cyclops's optic blast... except down, where Cyke bends over to pick up X-Men logos. In order to move you must press the move button which is under the jump button. On The Little Mermaid, the D-pad lets you control the depth where you swim.

These are avaliable for $15... I've seen these warming pegs for quite some time and I said to myself: "screw it!" And bought these two. I hate the X-Men game... Controls are frustrating and due to hardware limitations, hitting Apocalypse with optic blasts is hard... Apocalypse is a henchman in this game and Juggernaut is the boss. 

 On this era when you can get fully fledged video games for free, I can't see the point on wasting $15 on these large bulky Limited single game "gaming systems". Even the Nostalgia factor wears out really fast. I honestly can't see kids playing these when they have Fortnite, which is free.

But if I could get ONE Tiger LCD game, I want this one:

Brings back memories of a more innocent age. My dad wasn't a complete asshole with me, which meant I wasn't a complete asshole with him. I wasn't an orphan, girls were becoming not icky. If lucky, on Friday I could stay up super late all the way until 8PM!!

These are not worth it...

Super 7 is doing reissues on certain Thundercats characters

 In order to sell the obscenely overpriced Thundertank, Panthro is being reissued. He MAY have a slightly different paint deco. That's actually a decent move. But it technically be the THIRD time that Panthro sculpt is used. Mattel did the first time and Super7 is doing the other two times.

Panthro is not alone. With him, Lion-O: Lord of the Thundercats is being reissued as well. Again, it's a decent move, since he's a bit "hard to get" right now.

They're also doing  same to Mumm-Ra... the big buff one, not wimpy Mummy Mumm-Ra. So you can get  Big Bad to fight Lion-O and Panthro.

It's good to see that Super7 is confident enough to do occasional reissues. Not every figure needs one, but key characters should always have a second chance.

If you need these guys hit Super7 and prepare yourself for the waiting game.


MOTU movie is back in development Hell yet again...

 They lost their "He-Man" who is now in Black Adam. I'm kinda glad that Centineo is no longer attached to MOTU, because he wasn't exactly an inspiring choice. On the other hand, this cements the rumors about the movie being back in development Hell. 

COVID-19 has been detrimental to the movie industry. With SONY backpedaling on the dates,  not having a cast, or a completed script didn't help things. Game of Thrones came and went; no there's no one to pick up the flag on them now existing gap of a fantasy series. Whether by movie or series,  no one has stepped up to keep the desire of live action fantasy alive. 

Now I'm going to suggest something insane. Something that will surely earn me the wrath of over half of the MOTU fandom. Make a Tokusatsu out of He-Man.

 Now, before y'all grab the pitchforks and torches hear me out. I'm not saying turn He-Man into a Super Sentai style series. BUT those shows KNOW how to save money. Reused footage, multiple generic "faceless characters" fighting each other.  Effects heavy characters like Orko or Cringer would have reduced screen time. This wouldn't eliminate Battlecat completely as he can be used on some "reusable scenes".
See Battlecat in a type of scene that could be reusable. Characters having a sort of special attack can allow for reuse without having to refilm it every time.

Now a more "MOTU" version would be Ram Man running for his flying headbutt. We start with Ram Man running towards the enemy. Then the camera changes to the stock footage of Ram Man running in front of a trippy background as energy begins charging around him and when he jumps for the flying headbutt the energy engulfs him in a sort of aura shield and he flies like a man-sized bullet into the enemy. The enemy is hit by "Ram Man" but what we see is the enemy being hit the aura that engulfed Ram Man and the enemy is sent flying. One jumpcut later and Ram Man is landing where the enemy was.

Or we could have Whiplash turning around and with a jumpcut we see the tail attacking the enemy.

Palace Guards and Skelcons would serve as the perfect cannon fodder for both sides. One-off villains can have a non-skelcon generic fodder villain.

Now for the episode format:
Adam "is being lazy" and avoiding his royal duties. Teela disapproves of Adam's irresponsible behavior.
From here we have a couple of variations:
-Randor is disappointed with Adam, so he sends him, Teela, MAA, and a "guest Master" on a diplomatic mission.
-Sorceress summons Adam and MAA to Grayskull. Adam sneaks out to go as He-Man. Teela tags along. The "guest Master" joins later in the episode.
-MAA is field testing an invention, or is giving Adam and Teela a field lesson. "Guest Master" tags along.

This brings us to Skeletor or some other one-off villain trying to do evil:
-wanting to conquer whatever place Randor sent Adam to.
-is planning to attack Grayskull.
-is planning to attack Eternos. Maybe using MAA's invention.

If the villain is a one-off he uses his generic troops to attack our heroes. Adam runs away to transform. He 6th Ranger fights some generic troops until he returns to find the other Masters in bad state. He fights the villain and wins.

If the villain is Skeletor, then Skeletor, Evil Lyn, Beastman and the "Evil Master of the Week" attack the Heroic warriors with the Skelcons. If He-Man is present, then He-Man locks in combat with Skeletor, as the other heroic warriors deal with the rest. Orko could randomly appear and cause an accident that helps the Heroic warriors.
With the other Evil Warriors beaten, Evil Lyn cuts her loses and teleports the rest of the Evil Warriors to Snake Mountain. Once outnumbered Skeletor upgrades his armor and defeats the Heroes, forcing He-Man to upgrade his armor.
Yes, it's a way to canonize Battle Armors, Thunderpunch, Flying Fists, Dragon Blaster, and Terror claws. Also it's a nod to the Battlizers. Once Skeletor loses the upgrade, he teleports to Snake Mountain. He-Man leaves and Adam returns shortly afterwards feigning an injury or any other excuse to hide that he is He-Man.

The beauty of the episodic series format is that there is no need to tell a huge story with the limits of 90-120 minutes. Instead you tell multiple smaller self-contained stories that when put together tell a more epic saga in bite sized adventures... also, the series format allows for actual mini comics to be adapted. Also, the Tokusatsu format is more toyetic, which Mattel would love.

Feb 15, 2021

Snyder Cut trailer released, as well as excuses.

 The trailer to the Snyder Cut released and it was exactly what I expected... Crap!
There was a reasonable chunk of the "poopy Whedon" version, which proves that Whedon used plenty of Snyder Material. Cryborg has more presence, which is the real reason why Fisher made his crusade against Whedon. (Not dismissing that Whedon might be a dick, but so were Kubrick, Hitchcock, Bay, von Trier, Cameron among others and they are considered "great directors".) But the biggest thing about the Snyder Cut is that alleged pedophile Jared Leto said: "We live in a Society" line from the meme.

Of course the cult is lapping it up and making excuses for the lukewarm reception outside the cult. 

Reality is that you get the standard Snyder flair here... this time without Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah in the background. Full of random and disjointed scenes that feel like they belong in 4 different movies and not part of the same movie. Then the cringeworthy scene... MARTHA!! You have been dethroned.

Thank goodness that after this disaster movie, Snyder won't have the keys to DC's kingdom.

Feb 13, 2021

McFarlane DC Multiverse: a rant

 After Flash and Arkham Batman, my interest in McFarlane DC Multiverse has increased. I preordered Wonder Woman and Superman on BBTS... Once John Stewart comes, I'll snag him... But I have an issue:

Most of the line is freaking Batman! Where is Lex Luthor? Where is Cheetah? Where is Zoom? Where is Sinestro? We got Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing, Red Hood, Joker, alternate universe Batmen, Robins, Scarecrow, Joker, and Bane. Is the line called Batman and a bunch of losers? Because it feels like it is.
Picture Lex Luthor's Armored form, Zoom, Grodd, Doctor Psycho, Atrocitus, Metallo, Power Girl, A Non-Momoa Aquaman... there is so much potential in the DC Multiverse, but we're wasting it on Batman variants. By we I mean Todd McFarlane. The latest reveal was what if Batman had been designed by Todd McFarlane... 

Enough with the freaking Batman, Todd!!

We want to see Beyond Batman... I'm not saying that we have to reach deep down into the Z-Listers, but there are plenty of characters that could be immortalized in plastic... Plastic Man included.

I love Batman, I understand that he's DC's Bat-shaped-crutch, but come on! Even Batman has plenty of interesting characters that are not Batman Variants!! 
Seriously, No Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman, or Mister Freeze? (Todd, we NEED AN Ahnuld Schwarzenegger Freeze!)

Feb 12, 2021

Odds and ends February 12, 2021: MOM!! We did it! Snake Mountain is Here!

 Sadly, I won't be able to get it to come out the Toy Chest for a while... Need a MUCH BIGGER Table to review it. Can't do it in the backyard because of rain and Snake Mountain being a $600 playset, so I won't get it backyard dirty like a child's plaything!

As you can see, I FINALLY HAVE IT!! The final From a chronological point MOTUC release is in my hands! It's bittersweet... on one hand, it's the culmination of a great line... on the other hand, it's a grim reminder of who I lost... The playset was overpriced as it is, but I paid a much more bigger price than most. Before you ask, yes, I'm crying as I'm writing this.

On a less sad note, I'm going to have to buy an actual sex toy for an upcoming It came from the Toy Chest... Hasbro announced the newest Lightning Collection wave.
The Tenga Warrior is the next villain army builder... Where do  Tenga Warrior hatch from?
So you see, I need to get a Tenga egg for the It came from the Toy Chest when I get the Tenga warrior. I barely found a Z-Putty and now I have to hunt Tengas...

Twitter wokebots are cheering the GoT casting for Joel and Ellie in HBO's The Last of Us.
Lyanna Mormont and Oberyn Martell will play Ellie and Joel... yes, a Person of Color is playong Joel. Half of the wokebots are cheering. Those wokebots who actually play games, or at least have knowledge of the plot of TLOU are having a meltdown. To be fair, Pedro Pascal must be used to his characters losing their heads

Fuck Vince McMahon and his bullshit. Not only Vinnie Mac is pushing the Bad Bunny shit, but now he wants Lil' Bow Wow to wrestle!? Of all the stupid ideas that Vince has had, this is the stupidest one... It's no surprise that actual wrestlers are angry about this bullshit.

Customizing playsets: a rant

 As I wait for Snake freaking Mountain to arrive I'm thinking to myself: I know there are a couple of things that need some sort of "fix" with the playset, based on some reviews. He-Bro has a few things on his Shapeways shop to help with the fixes:

But these are easily fixable things that I can "undo" and have the playset "as it should". I'm talking about "fixes" that may permanently change the Playset... for example:
-Proper bridge with proper height rails. Yes, I'm aware that even now I'm still trying to be able to preserve the original.
-Actual latch to secure the playset in a closed position for transport. It's a bit silly, but at the same time it's sorely needed. As it is, transporting Snake Mountain is a bit of a hassle.
Other things I'm considering is expanding the play area. These would be separate pieces to use with the playset. Mainly to provide support to the thin floors on them (this would apply to Grayskull as well.)

Right now, I have no concrete idea what or how to do these for a couple of reasons. I don't have the playsets with me and I've no materials to experiment with. Not to mention that many of the materials I'm thinking of, cannot be acquired locally. Especially, since I'm trying to avoid wood. I want to make these mostly out of plastic. Resins and epoxies I'm counting as plastic-like materials. I want to keep Metal to a bare minimum (as close to zero as possible) and zero wood. 
I need to learn about resins and epoxies in order to know if I can sculpt out of foam and then cover with epoxy in order to reduce weight compared to a solid plastic piece.I need to outgrow foamboards and Hot glue. More serious diorama building, less Art Attack! 

Feb 11, 2021

Odds and ends 10-11th of February, 2021: Panthro's underpants, pancakes, and stuff.

 Without any notice, I received my Thundercats Wave 1 Booster pack. I'll review it after payday, because my hair dryer died... to be fair, it was Mom's and it's been around since 1993 or something. This will force me to make the Panthro ICFTTC.

Pearl Milling Company is the old new name for Aunt Jemima. I understand that the mascot might be considered offensive to some groups, but the people complaining have been mostly (white) SocJus activists feeling offended for others. Whether it's real empathy or posturing for woke points is not the issue here. The issue here is that the name used is so awful! I understand that Pearl Milling Company created the Recipe used on the pancake mix formerly known as Aunt Jemima... At  same time "Pearl Milling Company" is not exactly the most enticing name when you want to think of delicious fluffy pancakes smothered in runny sugary syrup.

Remember the HBO series about The Last of Us? Well, HBO, in their desire to be super woke had considered casting Mahershala Ali as Joel Miller... This is stupid as Hell!

Mahershala Ali would be playing the guy receiving the hits from said golf club, according to HBO... This casting decision would make The Wokebots's heads explode once the series reaches TLOU2...
Fortunately, this went nowhere. Hopefully someone pointed out the whole Abby Pro Am Golf scene. Since I'm talking TLOU, my progress with the game has been poor. It was hard to trudge through the game the first time, the second time has been even harder. Not on difficulty, but on desire.
It's Death Stranding all over again.

Feb 10, 2021

Apparently Super7 has planned 9 waves of TMNT and Thundercats (part2)

 In Part one I touched the Cosmic Kitties... Now it's time for the Radical Heroes in a Half-Shell, dudes! In some ways TMNT is easier to make a list, but at the same time it's a bit harder.

Like with the Thundercats list, I'll go for figure and reason. I will stick to vintage toyline because I don't know what "other media" s7 has access to. Usagi will be excluded from the list because of potential rights issues. Same kind of issues apply to Panda Khan, but with different people. Thank goodnes, because screw Panda Khan!

Without further ado, what I'd expect from TMNT WAVES 5-9:
This doesn't mean that *I* want all of these. These are figures I'd believe will be added because reasons. Also, I'll keep variants to a minimum... (mainly Super Shredder)

Wave 5:
Krang:
He's the last super core villain. He is also an expensive figure because he'd be with both the Android Body and bubble walker... but in scale to the characters, not the line. Guessing around 9 inches and kinda beefy to hold Krang inside.
Fugitoid:
A Mirage Classic even if it's on weird colors. A "Mirage Silver" with GITD accents could ve a nice s7 redeco.
Pizza Face:
It's a weird option and something that Super7 would release. I just happen to like this character.
Tokka:
Here I'm pulling a Matty by throwing a curveball and preparing a more popular figure that reuses parts.

Wave 6:
Rat King:
I won't pretend that TMNT TiT and the couple of toon appearances didn't influence me. I had a Rat King as a kid and I made a custom Rat King out of a Chris Jericho figure for the NECA TMNT.
Ace Duck:
Who the Hell likes this Donald Duck/Lauchpad hybrid!? He always died in our games as kids between my friend Leo and I. He was pretty much a more realistic take on Launchpad. The idea of an ace pilot is cool, but with so many anthropomorphic ducks, he ends up feeling derivative.
Scumbug:
Roachman mutant thing... S7 might be drawn to him.
Walkabout:
No one expects a mutant kangaroo, mate!

Wave 7:
Leatherhead:
Ah gwa-ran-tee you'll get him. Classic character that hopefully will be bigger in size.
Wyrm:
Good guy, freaky thing that B-Flynn might like.
Rahzar:
Completes the Tokka and Rahzar duo.
Groundchuck:
Evil Cyber Cow Dude... what's not to love.

Wave 8:
Genghis Frog:
Punk Frogs need some representation, yo!
Slash: 
Popular and reuses stuff from Tokka, or viceversa.
Dirtbag:
Completes the Chuck and bag Team! Also a miner mole...
Napoleon Bonafrog:
Completes the toy punk frogs

Wave 9:
Super Shredder:
We finished the TMNT TiT roster with him.
Scratch:
 He's one part Scareglow,  one part  Wonderbread He-Man... he has a mystique about him being supposedly super rare and is an end of line figure.
Mona Lisa:
People like her. Something about Raphael.
Wingnut and Screwloose:
Weird and popular. Also a Batman homage.

I know people want Chrome Dome, but without vac metal he is pointless. I kinda want some of these to be right and others to be oh so horribly wrong!

Apparently, Super7 has planned for 9 waves of Thundercats and TMNT (part 1)

 Heard this on a couple of Facebook pages and I've been trying to figure out how to fill in those remaining 5 waves. So, for the sake of being a bit positive until the Snake Mountain saga is finally over. (Allegedly, I'm getting it delivered on Friday...)
Also, I got by mail a third party foam Power Sword
Fabulous Secret Powers were revealed to me... and a neighbor yelling ¡Cállate cabrón!

But I'm riding on a MOTU High and what's the best way to celebrate? Talking about Thundercats and Turtles!!
I'm dividing this topic in two in order to do justice for each brand. I shall begin with Thundercats, because in my life's timeline, Thundercats came first...

So without further ado, here's my theoretical Thundercats waves 5-9:
Note: These are the ones I expect in order to roundup most rosters. Not all choices are characters that I want, but characters that have some popularity. Like, I hate Bengali and Ratar-O, but I expect them in the line.
Wave 5:
Bengali:
 My least favorite Thundercat, but he has potential to be a good figure. Also a good quitting point if you already have the Mattel thunderkittens.
Vultureman:
The last Core Member of the Mutants.
Chilla:
The easiest Lunatak to make and the best way to ease us into them.
Turmagar the Tuska Leader:
Since the line is more Toon inspired, I chose to repurpose the generic Tuska figure and make an actual relevant character.

Wave 6
Wilykit:
I'm splitting the kittens to somewhat pad out the line... and avoid more errors like Captain Cracker or Mumm-Ra disguised as Lion-Jesus... shit, now I want that Lion-Jesus... third party prices it is then... also, having the kittens as individual characters allows for more accessories per figure.
Amok with Luna:
This will be the expensive one due to Amok's size and the Luna mini-figure. Since we have to churn a Lunatak per wave now, better get rid of the hardest one earlier.
Mongor:
The most metal Thundercats figure... of course I'm putting him before Ratar-O...
Hachiman:
I want Hachiman ASAP because reasons... MOTUC Compatible Samurai... I smell custom potential.

Wave 7:
Wilykat:
The Final Thunderkitten and we round up the actual Thundercats sans Snarf.
Tug-Mug:
Possibly the most complicated Lunatak from a tooling perspective. 
Mandora the Evil Chaser:
Relatively easy to make character to compensate for Tug-Mug. Also, it gives a reason for Captain Saltine American.
Driller:
Looks cool and is kinda popular 
Wave 8:
Snarf-Ra with Snarf:
It's the best way to get a normal snarf and a complete curveball just like B-Flynn likes to toss around.
Alluro:
Mandatory Lunatak for the wave.
Willa the Warrior Maiden:
Easy to make figure with custom potential. Extra head for a different maiden... army building
Ratar-O:
He would truly round up the mutants, but screw Ratar-O...

Wave 9:
Nayda:
She completes the warrior maidens. If s7 plays it smart a second generic head on her and Willa would allow people to army build warripr maidens.
Red-Eye:
Final Lunatak and we round up this roster.
Berbil 2-pack:
Amaro Studios made some sweet Berbil Display pieces that are not toys, but we need Berbil toys!!
Hammerhand:
We may not get ALL the Berzerkers, but we need the big man himself. The one from season 2, please.

Feb 9, 2021

A Theoretical Usagi Yojimbo Ultimates figure: a Rant

 


I mentioned that there's a possibility that a Miyamoto Usagi figure might not be possible in the TMNT Ultimates line. An alternative would be working with Stan Sakai about making a Miyamoto Usagi figure to test the waters for a line of Ultimates based on Usagi Yojimbo. The idea is to release an Usagi figure to gauge the waters before releasing an actual wave if the solo Usagi sells well. 

For the Solo Usagi figure I suggest the Ronin look. It's the main look for the character and is NOT RELATED to TMNT Ultimates. That way if he sells well, it's because of Usagi Yojimbo fans and not TMNT fans. If one were to be made, here's what I'd suggest:

-Extra Straw hat wearing head. Can't  have a ronin without those. See pic above.
-Cloak... see pic above.
-Katana, Wakizashi, Tanto. Samurai needs samurai weapons.
-Flute. No, it's not a Ghost of Tsushima thing. It's a Samurai thing, and there's art of Usagi playing the flute.
-Sake gourd. Again, Samurai thing.
Extra hands including one to hold the scabbard for sword drawing poses, flute playing hands

If Usagi does well, then we could get a wave or two of characters.
I won't go into detail for accessories and stuff, because I'm not well versed in Usagi Yojimbo. I have read a couple of stories, but not enough to say I'm super hardcore fan. But if a wave or two were to be made, here's who I'd add:
Wave 1:

Lord Hikiji:
Every hero needs a villain. Usagi is no exception.

Tomoe Ame:
Female samurai and ally. A favorite of Sakai, so she has a guaranteed spot.

Gen:
He's one of the few characters that has appeared in other media and could have some appeal to TMNT Fans.

Kagemaru:
Evil Cat Ninja, we need one of those.

Wave 2:
Jei: 
The dark warrior who keeps coming back from the dead and the closest thing to an Anti-Usagi.

Chizu:
A grey area character who has been both an ally and an enemy to Usagi. Also, female cat ninja. IIRC She has issues with Kagemaru.

Zato-Ino:
A pig version of Zatoichi, count me in!! He also has issies with Usagi and Gen.

Lord Noriyuki:
Given his smaller size he could be a two-pack with another small character, like say, Jotaro.

Those two waves can deliver a somewhat rounded roster to an Usagi line. I couldnt figure how to make an actual figure of Lord Hebi, so that's why he's absent. 

Extra figure not attached to a wave:
Armored Samurai Usagi:
This would be the closest to the TMNT Usagi. The look would be based from the comics.


And last but not least, *IF* S7 managed to iron things out between Nickelodeon, Playmates and Sakai a TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo crossover wave of 5 figures:
Playmates Usagi:
Based on the vintage toy.
The four TMNT wearing Edo period clothing.

Feb 8, 2021

SUPER7 HAS WAVE1 OF TMNT on BBTS...

 They are calling it a variant reissue wave. It's kinda a"BBTS Exclusive"  and it's basically a repaint wave.  The repaint are very subtle. Like having the unpainted weapon was being molded in a different color. I think the Mouser that comes with Baxter will be repainted as well. Unfortunately these are going to be slightly more expensive than the normal ultimates figures going for 50 instead of the normal 45.

But on the other hand it's a great chance of getting the first wave without paying the insane secondary market prices. That lead this was dropped in as a surprise without any preparation and people couldn't Army build food soldiers since they are already sold out... and there was a limit of 2 per customer...

And the pre-order for the entire wave and individual figures are sold out... well, shit! I was able to preorder a single foot soldier to have an amazing army of 3... yay. 


Yes, clean shaven Mando, it COULD BE BETTER... like a $1000 Technodrome...


Also, there are a couple of rumors going on:

Since these are rumors take them with a grain of salt!!

-Bucket of Mousers is being considered... well, not exactly a bucket of them, but a way to have a release of Many Mousers, not to be confused with Mary Mouser, who plays Samantha LaRusso in Cobra Kai... No, let's not go down the Nefty wants some Cobra Kai toys route...
-April is getting tweaked. Don't know if it's just the face or if her body is being fixed as well. If it's the face, then V3 head is the way to go for her. If they are looking into the body, then the area near her waist needs some love... it looks close to vintage, but proportionally looks weird. Can't quite put my finger on it, but something looks off.
-Supposedly, the goal is to have these around Late-March, early April... which means that if April was being revised, these rumors leaked after said revising was done... but getting My Favorite Turtle and my favorite Banana reporter sooner rather than later is a good thing.
-Miyamoto Usagi MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO THE LINE. Since he's part of a somewhat active IP that is not TMNT, it makes the deal a bit harder, since S7 has to deal with Nickelodeon, Playmates, and now Dark Horse, just to get Usagi... Personally, s7 should forget about Usagi in TMNT and work with Dark Horse for a single release of Ultimates Usagi that "displays well" with other Ultimates.

Again, these are rumors, so take them with a grain of salt.