Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
That way Masterverse fans will have to buy it because it's "THEIR GRAYSKULL" and MOTUC fans will have to buy it because it's The Hall of Wisdom.
The playset would be Virtually the same Grayskull we've already have gotten: elevator, throne room trap weapon racks, computer. You've seen MOTUC Grayskull. You've seen Origins Grayskull, you've seen the Vintage Castle. You know what to expect. Just that this time we get a pretty castle with irredescent and metallic paintjobs with sparkly translucent parts.
I know what you're thinking.
"so basically, you're suggesting having Grayskull styled innards on a new shell. How do we get castle Grayskull from this?"
Translucent turquiose overlays in the shape of Castle Grayskull's facade maybe with frosted back parts to better hide the Hall of Wisdom.
Then a few years later Mattel can rerelease the entire thing painted in solid MOTUC Grayskull teal...
If Mattel is smart, they make it the same proportions as MOTUC Grayskull with the raised ground ledge included for a darker reason. By removing the Grayskull Facade elements in one of them you could combine BOTH playsets and make a Full 4 walled Grayskull.
I know it's both brilliant and dastardly... but it would still need a bit more, doesn't it?
Sparkly transformation He-Man figure.
We can also add the pyramid that opens up to reveal the most powerful ball in the universe.
Thanks to Todd McFarlane. This is good from a certain point of view. If it brings more DC products to the table, that's good... Problem is that Todd McFarlane's heavily involved. Why do I say that? Todd relies on the Bat shaped Crutch too much. His DC Multiverse line could be called Batmam Multiverse and the releases wouldn't be any different.
I'm assuming that this deal is basically letting McFarlane Toys continue the lines that DC Collectibles was managing. I wonder if he'll do quirky stuff like the canceled Lucha line, or if he'll just do old school McFarlane DC statues... You gotta admit that a McFarlane old school statue of Poison Ivy with a flower base would look badass, or a Manbat, or a Solomon Grundy... or a Superman vs Doomsday statue... now THAT would be badass and 100% guano free.
I may not be the target audience but I know that they have made some interesting toys. I DID buy the DCC Diggle, Arrow and Deathstroke... and the highly disappointing Batman, Aquaman, and Superman figures with 80s articulation... and the Arkham Catwoman that I reviewed a little while ago.
Sadly, Mattel hasn't gotten with the times in this area. Usually Mattel properties get shovelware games (Barbie and Hot Wheels being the biggest recipients). The least bad games were the Dreamcast Max Steel game and the 2005 MOTU Euro exclusive PS2 game, which is supposedly a sequel to the dreadful GBA game. Both games weren't great, but had potential. My guess is that this is mostly due to Mattel not wanting, willing to spend too much money on a medium they can't fully grasp.
This is detrimental to them because Hasbro has been able to keep Transformers afloat with the movies, animated series, and videogames, which has led to toy sales. The sad part is that they kinda get it when it involves Hot Wheels.
I'll admit that it doesn't look THAT great, but it's being developed by Milestone, a company that specializes in racing games. So in theory, THIS TIME, Mattel is trying. But I feel that as always, they're a bit behind.
They should be doing a He-Man game... sorry 2 He-Man games. One for fans of Classic styled Barbarian He-Man and one for the new CGI ugly hi-tech look for He-Man. Game genre? A Western RPG with some inspiration from Witcher, Zelda BOTW would be a nice game, but that project would be too cost-prohibitive to Cheapskate Mattel. Even the barely a mobile game Tappers of Grayskull is no more.
The simplest solution is a fighting game. This was mentioned before back when there were rumors about Ed Boon from NRS wanting He-Man in Injustice 2. I've mentioned that a Soulcalibur clone could work. An old school 2D platformer could work, kinda like the first cellphone game. Hell, even an arcade Beat em' up like the upcoming TMNT game COULD work well for MOTU. Hell, a Beat em' up could work as a "prequel" to Revelation... or a side story. By the time Mattel figures it out, He-Man will be nothing but a memory.
If Mattel wants to keep their brands relevant, they need to have some synergy and strike when the iron is hot. Right now the iron is starting to cool down.
Playmates toys is making TMNT two packs! And they are... awful...
They are re-releasing the same four "classic styled" turtle molds from 2012 and Rocksteady and Bebop. The same Rocksteady and Bebop that I already reviewed Previously in an advent calendar. The ones that are inferior to NECA'S and Super7's. Joining them are a brand-new Triceraton and Shredder.
Shredder is literally coming with vintage weapons. Absolutely zero changes to them. I believe Shredder and Triceraton are part of the canceled figures that were coming for this poorly scaled line.
According to Kevin Smith, He-Man eats pussy. He's not a selfish lover like a certain Bruce Wayne. I could make a joke about Battfleck being a Buttman since he's dating J-Lo again, but gotta keep this He-Man related. Also, He-Man is not dead, just wounded and he will fight Skelegod. Or so said Kevin Smith. I'm guessing these "accidental spoilers" are Smith trying to force Netflix to release part 2 sooner...
There is a rumor going on that Netflix is working on a live-action adaptation of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I don't know how credible Giant Freaking Robot is, but they're claiming that Netflix is working on a Live Action series.
To say that I'm worried is an understatement. Let's start with the most obvious reason: budget. A Masters of the Universe series would require a rather large budget due to the special effects. I'm not saying that it would be impossible to make but that would be a bit too costly for Netflix to do so consistently and have the visual effects look good. A First Season would have very little money on effects and CGI... let's be honest the transformation sequence alone would eat up a lot of the budget.
Orko and Battlecat would demand a lot of budget. Half of Skeletor's crew would too.
Cast would be a bit of an issue. Child actors growing older between seasons. We can add actors becoming bigger names and demanding more money, or actors getting too old for their roles. For example: in MOTU Revelation, Alan Oppenheimer didn't play Skeletor because he's too old to maintain that voice. He was given Mossman, since it wouldn't put too much strain on him. Also in this case budget would force certain casting choices... for example:
He-Man, Teela, MAA, Ram Man, and Clamp Champ would be characters that can easily appear on Season one over folks like Mekaneck, Stratos, Mossman, Roboto, or Man-E-Faces, due to budget. Same thing applies to Skeletor's forces:
Evil-Lyn, Tri-Klops, Ninjor, Jitsu, and Blade would be the "active fighters" to a Skeletor who plots from Snake Mountain due to budget.
Guys like Beastman, Trap Jaw, Whiplash, Merman, and Clawful would require a larger budget to sustain themselves.
Story it's really hard of finding the right balance between familiar and new. We saw how split the fanbase is with Revelation. A few people hated it but those who love it are lumping those who have a few issues with the series, with people who were predetermined to hate it without giving it a chance. It would be weird having an origin story without key characters and having some later down the line filler characters. In order for the series to work, the story would have to take the serialized Tokusatsu approach. (Power Rangers for the uncultured swines) to be the main storyline while a whole season arc is built on the background. That way the Skeletor v. HE-MAN battles don't get stale.
I'm not hating on this. I'm just hesitant necause there are so many ways this can go wrong...
I'm riding the Revelation Gravy train before it runs out... probably next week I'll take a few days off due to IRL issues, car troubles, and other things and won't be returning to post until August... or maybe sooner. It depends on how I feel after the break. Or if some crazy announcement is dropped on my lap.
PART 2 of Revelation will still be Teela Centric, so y'all can forget about Adam making a comeback and recovering the protagonist role.
Hope:
While Teela is still the protagonist of this series, Adam is still the main character and has some active role... or as active as he can be as he recovers.
Fear:
Adam is too weakened to do anything or dies from his injuries.
Hope:
Clamp Champ will have a more active role than 3 seconds and even get a speaking part. Perhaps other Masters that haven't had any cartoon appearances could show up... (His name is Rio and he's blastin' in the sand)
Fear:
Focus will be on Teela being a Supreme badass who overpowers all obstacles once she gets her second wind... or her magical wind.
Hope:
Despite the race against time to stop Skeletor, I hope to see Teela coming to accept the truth and her mother. (This one, will make me cry for obvious reasons)
Fear:
Teela doubles down on her brattiness and refuses to deal with her destiny until it's too late.
Hope:
Evil-Lyn went with Skeletor to find a way to doublecross him, because Orko's bravery touched her.
Fear:
Evil-Lyn went with Skeletor to doublecross him in order to take the power herself.
Hope:
Skelegod will fall by Adam's hand with Teela's help showing that a combination of might and magic is what tempers the universe... and a symbolic message of Adam and Teela being soulmates.
Fear:
Teela is able to Summon the Power of Grayskull ans takes down Skelegod herself.
Hope: The second half will be better than the first half.
Fear: A repeat of Kevin Smith's Spider-Man and Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do where the second half was shit in comparison to the first part.
Hope:
We get a season 2 and taking the feedback from the audience to improve on the weaker points.
Fear:
Kevin Smith goes full Noelle Stevenson and craps on He-Man, horribly...
The show is not perfect but so far it did better than I thought it would.
Ignore the trolls that say that it's a 0 out of 10 and the ones that say it's an 11 out of 10. Watch it yourself and let yourself be the judge. Also, don't feel pressured to leave reviews on sites.
Now that I've seen it, slept on it and rewatched, let me gather my thoughts.
The show was pretty good. It didn't show that the people behind it had a modicum of understanding of the brand at least tempted to be respectful to the source material. Was it perfect? No.
Things I didn't like:
-Sarah Michelle Gellar performance as Teela wasn't that great. She was playing Buffy instead of Teela. This is the part where I would normally make a joke about her ruining child like she did in Scooby-Doo, but that's too much of a low-hanging fruit even for me. The point is that says she already was Buffy and is now being Typecast as female badass everybody's going to see Buffy instead of the other characters. Had the role gone to a lesser known female voice actress it would have been better.
-Sidelining He-Man by Killing him then mortally wounding him after resurrection was a dick move. Despite Gellar's performance I didn't mind having Teela as the protagonist. The flashbacks were nice but at the same time they felt a bit of a bait and switch. They can technically say that He-Man is in every episode even if he really wasn't.
-The race swapping was pointless. King Grayskull was barely used. All this crap about representation and KG was a 1 episode talking head. Only The character who was renamed as Andra got usage to be more than a glorified cameo. The talks of diversity were bullshit since 2 out of 4 black people were cameos. (Clamp Champ and a random Priestess) KG was a glorified cameo... you get the idea. Adding characters of color just to bench them? Real progressive, guys.
Things that were meh:
-The Music. It wasn't bad. It just felt a bit generic.
-the designs. While Teela Oldman was an awful design, the rest of them were, mostly uninspired... either character loses eye, or has less clothes than the Mattel toy.
-The story. This is closely tied to the awful Benching He-Man thing, but I'm not going with that angle. Smith kept calling the series a sequel to Filmation, but it wasn't. It was heavily inspired by the Neitlichverse. Also, a lot of storytelling suffered from the hypercompressed nature of this series. Some character development scenes felt a bit controved and forced because of limited screentime. The predictable not so shocking deaths of heroic sidekicks with poignant moments for the sake of raising the stakes were so obvious that even a blind man could see them coming.
The good:
-The animation, The fighting choreography, it's obvious that Powerhouse did their research. Aside He-Man Naruto Running it was beautiful to look at.
-Alicia Silverstone and Lena Headey's performances as Marlena and Evil Lyn were amazing. I specifically mention them because their performances exceeded expectations, especially Alicia Silverstone. Hell, I had forgotten that Alicia Silverstone was in this until I saw her name in the credits.
-Mark Hamill was pretty neat as well, even if his voice soubded like Skips making a Joker making a Skeletor impression. Hell, even Mewes impressed me as well.
Overall:
If I was rating this like I do a videogame, it would get a 7.25 out of 10. It had a nice budget, a decent cast (minus one Love Action Daphne Blake) but there's a feeling of something not being right. Like a bit of a try-hard approach at making MOTU Cool and Edgy. Somehow I feel that it was good, but 200X was better.
I WISH they hadn't killed off Adam and forced him to the sidelines. Keep Teela as the protagonist, but we must keep Adam as the Main character.
Still binging, but feeling ripped off. Adam FINALLY shows up and is just to bury Dobby... I mean Orko. Adam hands over his half sword and is like bitches, GTFO, I'm dead in the past! You wanna get home, you have to join the Wild Hunt... calm your 🍌 🐅 🍌 🐯
Breadless Winderbread He-Man
The wild Hunt is basically an excuse to Showcase King Grayskull's might. Not to mention all the references: Wun-Dar, Vikor, Kodok Ungol... there were a few others that I couldn't ID. Meanwhile, Andra, Roboto, and He-Ro we're working on reforging the swords. Mossman and King Grayskull give Adam some advice... Adam ignores the advice and after Roboto dies, Adam leaves essentially MOTU Valhalla and returns home. Before everything changes.
The scary Scareglow episode... Candyman as Scareglow is a neat touch. But the episode was kinda weak... it has He-Man Naruto Running.
Believe it!!
So, the party enters Subternia and Scareglow does his Freddy Krueger thing. He also tries to pull a Mephisto but, everyone faces their fears and Teela taps into her destiny magic and defeats Scareglow... for now. The team reunites and Scareglow returns. Orko activates his trap card and removes Scareglow and himself from the equation. Not gonna lie, I cried like a bitch.
Crying bitch
Mostly because Orko died after having a smidge of development. A reasonable part also cried because this death was mostly for Shock Value, like Mossman's. Now we head to the end... where finally we'll be in good hands...
Merman doesn't sound like he's gargling.... that's weird. The flashbacks feel like a cop-out in order to say that they have He-Man in all episodes when the show is literally focusing on Teela. So far it has been pretty decent, barring Teela acting like Buffy. I had my few Teela is gay jokes because of the imagery that can be twisted into Teela being gay.
So, Yeela, Evil Lyn and Andra are on a quest for Duncan, who now lives like a hobo and we're gonna see how much of a badass he is since Pope Tri-Klops has entered the scene. Oh, Trap Jaw isn't dead. I forgot to mention that Tri-Klops cultists look like Horde Wraiths.
Beastman joins the party and it seems Duncan has a mysterious dying friend. If I were a gambling man, I'd say the friend is Orko.
Shipping intensifies!!
I guess Roboto and Orko join the party, but not Duncan. Orko is dying and it seems the rumor might be true and this here is some foreshadowing. Duncan is sent to Grayskull in order to protect the Sorceress. Evil-Lyn lets her hair down.
Merman returns shirtless and without an eye... seems like everyone is losing an eye here. Merman loses (what a shocker) and the ragtag JRPG party enters Hell... guessing Orko will sacrifice himself for their escape on the next episode. Weren't these episodes supposed to be close to an hour long?
Karenla wants to speak with the manager: We got the time jump and now Teela is a generic mercenary/bounty hunter who does generic RPG sidequests for NPCs... She faced Stinkor who is voiced by Jay... Yes, THAT Jay, and he also happens to not sound like Jason Mewes reading a script. Teela receives a sidequest from totally NOT Evil Lyn to infiltrate Snake Mountain to steal a chalice. Duuude! Blast Attak is here! And Tri-Klops is the pope of a technomancy cult... and Screeech's a part of it? Huh?
They touched hands AndLa ship confirmed
Teela held her less experienced partner's hand... Lesbians confirmed!!! That was sarcasm... Blast Attak stopped from going suicide bomber, but did Andra just kill Trap Jaw? Also, Did Andra just culturally appropriate Shurikens?
Teela and Andra escape by angering the tentacle monster in Snake Mountain... I'd make a joke about tentacle monster, but it only went for the dudes.
The tentacle monster is progressive. This is turning into a play by play, isn't it?
✂️✂️ confirmed...
First they hold hand, now Teela embraces Andra... Those carpets are getting munched!!
I'm not saying Teela's gay, but this feels an awful lot like ship-baiting. Twitter and Tumblr are going to be mad if Teela ends up loving the 🐓 instead of the 🌮... Evil Lyn is now Neutral Lyn and is helping the Sorceress or something. Can't trust Evil Lyn, y'know.
So, Cringer explains everything to Teela and she accepts. She also holds Cringer lovingly...
Bestiality now?
Teela is now Bi and a Zoophiliac confirmed!! Oh the ships!! I'm building the Cringela ship!!
Now I need her to hug Duncan so I can complete the trifecta with incest!! This is really becoming the Teela show, isn't it?
Where to start? It didn't suck. It basically sets up the series by basically ending it. As Teela is ascended to man-at-arms, Skeletor infiltrates Castle Grayskull using the shaping staff. The forces of good go to the fender Grayskull where He-Man faces Skeletor for the last time.
I had to nearly sell my soul to get this one.
Mossman, played by Alan Oppenheimer is killed by Skeletor with an epic burn both literally and figuratively. Mossman is burnt down and Skeletor jokes about the pine scent. Yes they are various fourth-wall-breaking references about the universe, so in other words metareferences. These were hit-or-miss but most of them were hits.
Honestly the weakest element of this episode and possibly the series in general is Sarah Michelle Gellar's performance as Teela. It's not because she's a bad actress, but she sounds too much like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes I'm aware she played Buffy for many years and that's the problem. In movies with well-known actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger you keep calling the character Arnie instead of the name of the character. Same thing happens with Stallone, Van Damme,Pie Fucker, The Rock, Fran Drescher, etc. Personally I think that Teela should've been played by an unknown actress just to avoid the typecast association that one unconsciously does when actors are put in a box.
I won't be able to do play by plays because Netflix is being a bit bitchy about screenshots. So once I finish an episode I will just make a small rant with my thoughts. So far this isn't a Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra type of bad show, but we still have 4 more episodes to go.
Yes, I heard the rumors. No, not going to watch the video where Kevin Smith accidentally drops a Revelation... where Orko well... you can guess what happens.
Many people see Orko as the annoying childish character like Crappy Doo or Snarf! (The last one is ironic, since Snarf is the grumpy adult, while LION-O is literally the annoying childish character) more often than not these "fans" want to get rid of Orko by any means necessary. Yes his conception wants to be a character kids could identify with and act as a bridge between the show and the audience. At the same time he has a very tragic backstory. Lost In a Strange New World, where he cannot properly function. To put things in perspective. Imagine being a professional basketball player back home and in this new world you can't even dribble a ball without hitting someone in the audience. That's Orko. In Trolla he was a pampered Wunderkind that had an enormous magical potential. Now he's a barely functional mage that can only function as a very bad jester.
A mature take on Orko is to use his backstory and have him cope with being "the only one of his kind" trapped in an alien world. Going from highly skilled to a bad joke, because the laws of physics behave differently in this dimension than they do in Trolla. Part of Orko's child-like nature is because Eternian experiences are brand new to him.
But the issue MANY HAVE (even myself) is that we can all confuse Maturity with edginess at times. For some reason I'm sensing that Kevin Smith might have fallen into this trap... if the rumors are true. We have seen what going edgy for the sake of edginess can do to a franchise. I'm talking about Snyder's bastardization of the DCEU. Where Superman was barely Superman and he gets immediately killed in the sequel.
Oh yes, I did! I mentioned having Orko cope with his inability to even do the simplest of spells and maybe having him relearn "how to walk" would be a nice way to have Orko grow as a character. My fear is that Orko is used to make an example of "How mature we are" by metaphorically killing the character by making him act completely out of character, like being the Ultimate Evil... or bybactually Killing Orko just to showcase the "High stakes"... or to make him a "Dobby".
This is my third red flag... NOW I'M REALLY starting to worry. I'll get back to you after the first episode...
Seriously, what the fuck!? Why is it that actors from reboots always have to talk trash about the original show in order to promote their current gig? First we had Marcus Scribner voice actor of the Wannabe-Bow talking crap about the original She-Ra... Now the Second Buffy does the same to Teela.
Let's start with the obvious: SMG is lying. The female characters weren't afterthoughts. In fact the characters with MOST DEVELOPMENT in Filmation's He-Man and the Masters of the Universe were:
Teela
Queen Marlena
The Sorceress
-The Rainbow Warrior: Marlena-centric episode in which Marlena takes charge and saves the day. This episode also let's the viewers know that Marlena KNOWS Adam's secret and she plays along for his sake.
-The Witch and The Warrior: A Teela-centric episode in which she and Evil-Lyn form a truce in order to survive in the desert and stop the evil wizard Kothos.
-Teela's Quest: Teela-centric Episode about Teela trying to find her true parentage.
-Teela's Trial: Another Teela-centric episode in which Teela commita a mistake and self-exiles in punishment.
-Origin of the Sorceress: The single Sorceress-centric episode in which we get her backstory. This episode also laid some of the foundation for She-Ra.
-Teela's Triumph: Yet another Teela-centric episode in which The Sorceress is missing and Teela takes command of Castle Grayskull to protect it from Skeletor.
-Beauty and the Beast: it's one of the weaker episodes, but Teela is a key player in it. I wouldn't call it Teela-centric, because the episode is not good. It kinda counts.
-Visitors from Earth: is not a Marlena-centric episode, but it has some character info on Marlena.
There are more episodes in which Teela gets some development, since she's a primary character, just not the Protagonist and main character (Adam/He-Man).
Hell, Teela gets far more character development than Adam/He-Man. Was the show made for boys? Yes. Did it have women as an afterthought? No. There are plenty of fenale characters in various positions of power and roles throughout the series. Some are heroic, others are villainous. To say that women were an afterthought is disingenuous and insulting to the team at Filmation. The Filmation crew was Woke before Wokeness was even a thing. To imply that "they thought less of women" in their work is a load of crap.
What's wrong with promoting the new without insulting what came before.
Imaginary interviwer: So, since you're playing Teela, I got to ask: did you watch the original?
Imaginary SMG: I wasn't a fan as a kid, because the show was geared towards boys and it just didn't click with me. Now as an adult and after working on things like Buffy, Star Wars Rebels, etc. I've learned to appreciate the mythology. The show still isn't my cup of tea, but they laid the groundwork for the series that I'm working on and I'm grateful for that.
It still keeps the whole not liking the original aspect, but without the bullshit of sinking the original one to elevate the reboot. How would she feel if the new Buffy reboot Buffy talked shit about her version?
It's simple, easy, and we would be suckers for it. What I'm about to suggest is even crazier.
Remember the Cobra BAT for the Ultimates? Yes, the one with the pieces to make a battle damaged version? So, you can see what I'm getting at.
In addition to the standard bucket of Mousers, Super7 should release a set of "Ultimate Mousers"
What's that you ask? A set of 4 Mousers with Modular pieces:
Head
Torso
Legs
In addition to the normal Mousers you get:
Alternate battle damaged body parts:
Torsos with Katana Damage, Sai Damage blunt object damage (staff and chucks)
Heads with Katana Damage, Sai Damage, Blunt object damage (staff and chucks)
Busted legs
Plug in sparking damage effect for heads, legs and torsos.
The idea is that there would be enough parts to have 4 pristine Mousers and 4 heavily messed up Mousers.
With future updates the Mousers could get additional damage pieces like having one with stuck arrows, or an exploding torso where you attach pieces as if they were flying off. By not releasing all the versions at the same time, they can allow customers to pace themselves and get a bigger Mouser army. They can go crazy with the battle damage, like having a Mouser split in 2 vertically, the other sliced horizontally. Or one where the head and Torso are ora ora ora punched by Metalhead.
Pretty much nearly every iteration has fought Mousers. The results are similar to the mechanical mouce munching menace... They become scrap metal.
I find it kinda sad that none of the two companies making TMNT toys are not exploiting this opportunity for a quick and easy cash grab Army Builder set. Yes I will keep campaigning for this to become a reality.
The recent America Chavez: Made in the USA is retconning the Interdimensional Space Lesbian Origin story for her. Now she's an Earthling, suffering from a terminal disease and exposed to an unorthodox treatment. This treatment gave her Superpowers. Her Latina Mothers died in an attempt to save her and the Interdimensional Space Lesbian angle was something America made up to deal with her trauma. Right now her Latina status is guaranteed. Now we need to find out WHICH Latin American nationality applies to her. Are her biological parents Puerto Rican, Mexican, Peruvian, Uruguayan, etc? (They're highly unlikely to be Argentinean)
This origin is FAR BETTER for a simple reason: Now America Chavez is a real Latin American character... though not Puerto Rican*.
*= unless at least one of her biological parents is Puerto Rican, she can't claim to be one.
As I've stated before, Her adoptive parents are Nuyorican born and raised in New York, therefore America is NOT Puerto Rican. At best she could make a weak claim at being Nuyorican. But with her being the actual daughter of a Latin American woman, now she can proudly call herself a Latina. Now if we could get retcon the rest of Gabby Rivera's run, the character could improve.
And yes, I still want a Marvel Legends figure of her. Well, now more than ever since they made her an actual Latina instead of an interdimensional being pretending to be a Latina.
Just by showing TMNT Stuff... they showed a lot of stuff for lines that I don't give a damn about (Aliens, Chucky, Gremlins) lines that I kinda care about, but not all in (BTTF, Defenders of the Earth) Demona and Thailog from Gargoyles... but the best stuff was TMNT.
Bad news first: Seems that Irma is part of a 4 pack with Cat April, YET ANOTHER VERNON and Burne...
That's not the bad news... This is the bad news:
The shirt and press pass smell like Lootcrate stuff...
Why another Vernon? The 50 shades head will be great with Ratirma.
There was another cartoon duo shown... Groundchuck and Dirtbag. Dirtbag will be able to split at the waist to have him digging.
They are looking pretty good. Wonder how will Super7 top these? I only had Groundchuck as a kid, so teasing me with the duo is a pain... due to the Target not shipping to Puerto Rico bullshit.
Never mind... This will be a hard act for Super7 to follow. CARTOON TOKKA AND RAHZAR... Mot only we got the movie versions, now we get the Toon versions and probably soon a TiT repaint.
Casey Jones 2.0, SOTO Shredder, and A THIRD Super Shredder!?
The figure looks sweet... but it sucks that we have to buy another Casey.
They're BABIES!! And it's exciting to know that we are getting closer to complete SOTO... and all we need is Keno, a Paige Turco April, Vanilla Ice, and a Tatsu... if someone could contact Obata Toshihiro in order to get this figure made...
This looks like a more Playmates inspired version. I still haven't opened my Shadow Master version and I don't think I'll get this one... but I could change my mind.
My expectations for this movie were low. I'm talking hell's basement low. I was not disappointed. This movie is bad. How bad is it? It makes the original Space Jam look good for starters.
Space Jam a New Legacy:
Do you like Space Jam?
Do you like Hook?
Do you like blink and you miss references a la Ready Player One?
If you said yes to any of those, imagine a mix of all those and make it shittier. Then that shitty imaginary version is 9000+ times better than the real thing.
Don't let the "It'S fOr KiDs" apologists fool you. It's an awful movie and giving kids such crap is what makes them have no taste and enjoy crap like Bad Bunny.
The best jokes in the movie are the self aware jokes about this movie being a bad retread of the far superior Space Jam with Michael Jordan... and I'm not saying the Original is a GOOD film. Just that is a lot better than this one.
The plot in a nutshell:
Evil AI played by Don Cheadle traps LeBron and his son inside HBO Max. He forces LeBron to retread Space Jam in order to rescue his kid. In the meantime, the Evil AI is trying to corrupt LeBron's kid a la Hook. LeBron is stuck with the Looney Tunes as his team in order to fight the digital monsters created by LeBron's son.
Most of the movie is wasted on a WB promotion of their properties on HBO Max. By the time we get to the game the 2 hour movie os barely at the halfway point... the better Space JAM lasted less than 90 minutes. The game has the Looney Tunes losing badly until LeBron decides to stop being Drama Queen James and lets the Looney Tunes play as Looney Tunes. He then talks to his son and apologizes about not letting the kid be himself. This causes the kid to switch teams faster than LeBron can cry about beating Jordan and forces Don Cheadle to become Don Cheater. At the end LeBron wins by bullshit and happy ending.
The movie's themes have been done before already and a lot better. It's obvious that aside of LeBron chasing that ghost of Jordan, the movie was full of WB executive meddling. That is an awful sign, based on past experiences of WB meddling with directors... I'm talking about Tim Burton in the 90s.
Now in all fairness, I am exaggerating the awfulness for comedic purposes, but there are a few coffee beans in this civet cat poop of a movie.
Don Cheadle pulls off a delicious performance as Al G. Rhythm...
The Looney Tunes work pretty well, except Zendaya who plays Zendaya as a bunny instead of Lola. Like I mentioned earlier the jokes that reference the previous Space Jam are not bad. The best joke of the movie subverts the expectations of having Michael Jordan appear in the movie. It was rather obvious that they were going to bring Michael B Jordan but the joke was still good... sorry I should say as good as it can get for a bad Space Jam sequel.
Should you watch this movie? Only if it's for free. And I don't mean 🏴☠️ free, because even Piracy requires an effort. I'm talking free as in you're waiting at a Doctor's office and they have it on the waiting room's TV. If the movie didn't put an effort to be good, then why you should put an effort to watch it?
While Scareglow is a cool exclusive, it feels like a dick move to punish customers with an exclusive like him. So, here's some alternative ideas for Masterverse Exclusives:
Deluxe Figure: Evolution of He-Man:
Basically, the Masterverse He-Man with enough extra pieces to make the "evolution" a reality. The new additional pieces that would come with the fig:
-Vintage Head
-Vintage styled Harness with the cross
-Vintage styled Sword
-Vintage styled Axe
-Vintage styled Shield
-Vintage styled bracers
-200X head
-200X styled Harness with Asterisk
-200X sword
-200X shield
-200X axe
-200X bracers
-200X belt with pouch
Deluxe Figure: Evolution of Skeletor
Just like He-Man but with Skeletor. The cape should be removable and the additional accessories are:
-Vintage Head
-vintage style sword
-vintage style havok staff
-200X head
-200X bracers
-200X belt with tassets
-200X swords
-200X havok staff
Classic Evil Lyn
Basically an Evil Lyn made in her classic outfit. Preferably in 200X colors for the sake of having the option for a traditional Yellow release on retail. These wouldn't conflict with Revelation versions.
Deluxe figure: Classic Teela
This is an Old school styled Teela... but in Masterverse proportions. The Deluxe part comes from overcomplicating her Snake Armor as a 2 piece item. She'd also get her vintage snake staff, in addition to the weapons used by Revelation Teela. Also a blonde repaint of her non-armor head. Just to cover all bases. This doesn't conflict with any Revelation versions.
Deluxe Figures: Battle Armor He-Man vs Battle Armor Skeletor
Basically the Masterverse bodies with a new torso with the Battle Armor feature. The Deluxe comes from the working action feature. They could also have vac Metal (ugh!) To make them pop from the possible retail versions.
Deluxe Figure: Faker:
This one is a bit of a cheat and a bit of a dick move. Remember Hasbro's Thermochromic Zartan. Same thing for Faker. To keep the deluxe on him toss the Terminator head, the Skeletor Harness, a robotic hand. All in the same thermochromic mode. It's not the traditional version but it's something closer than the actual Terminator styled figure that was revealed a while back.
Deluxe figure: Man-E-Weapons
Basically a slight repaint of Man-E-Faces but with a shitton of weapons. Maybe add a second "head" with different expressions for the Man and Monster mode. Robot would be the same but a slightly different paintjob to simulate damage, or using a robotic frature.
Deluxe Figure: Mossman (Flocked)
Mattel going old school with Mossman and adding flocking to the figure as a nod to the past. The exact same Mossman as the already available one, but with flocking.
Deluxe figure: Classic Keldor:
This one is easy: Masterverse Skeletor with He-Man feet and forearms. The new accessories would be the 200X swords. They can reuse the Origins head...
Maybe add an acid burn head and a Hooded Keldor head. This doesn't interfere with Revelation releases.
Masterverse is a bit harder to figure out than Origins. Especially since Masterverse has been Revelation themed so far and NOT the MOTU version of Marvel Legends that we were promised.
Due to COVID-19, SDCC is virtual for the second year. Toy companies have scrambled to have some exclusives on their sites.
Mattel has a Mattycollector replacement... where they sold the shitty Madsaki Battlecats... now they're gonna sell a rabbit Battlecat for MegaBloks... because reasons.
They also have the Land shark and a Wind Raider from Hot Wheels with a mini He-Man and Skeletor.
Last but not least a $35 Revelation Scareglow.
He also comes with a weird power sword that splits in two and glows in the dark. The reason he's $35 is LED lights in his box.
While the Scareglow figure looks cool the whole idea of him being an exclusive is a bit underwhelming.
The other exclusives are kinda lame as well.
If I hadn't responsibilities and could throw obscene amounts of money into a single toy item... Snake Mountain was an exception because it was fulfilling Mom's promise. As I was saying, Haslab made my wallet commit Sudoku 32 times in a row.
$400 Galactus... Twice as tall as the ToyBiz figure. He's bigger than the Sentinel. He will also have stretch goals. By the time of this rant being written He's almost halfway to the minimum goal.
He has light up stuff, but 32 inches of Galactus... that's almost a toddler sized toy.
Hasbro also has a thermochromic Zartan figure. Unlike past releases of the color change Zartan, that depend on the UV radiation to change color this one changes on temperature. It's literally a re-release of the classified Zartan but with color change plastic.
Right now I'm going through some personal issues that are severely limiting my "non-essentials" budget, which sucks because Icon Heroes is releasing John Kreese in a Cobra Kai boxset... DAMMIT!!
We still don't know if Super7 will make a GITD variant of Something or the best thing for the universe to kick me in the dick, a gitd spirit Jaga. Calling it right now.
I have mixed feelings with Loki. It wasn't bad, but the Final Episode was the one that ruined the series for me.
Not even Twilight Sparkle making an Applejack impression could save the series for me.
I didn't LOVE the series. I enjoyed Hiddleston's Dynamic with Owen Wilson far more than Sofia Di Martino and Hiddleston. (I blame the woll they won't they self-cest angle) I'm gonna blame the series being 6 episodes only with Episode 5 being the best of them all. Classic Loki rules and Reptilian Loki is cool too!
At the end Girl Loki now called Sylvie wasn't the villain. It was Patrice Wilson pretending to be Kang The Conqueror. Before any self-righteous douche begins to scream Racism, because I said two black men had some similarities, just shut up! I'm not talking Physically. Just as Patrice has weird powers and can manipulate his world however he wants, "He who remains" is basically doing the same thing as Patrice Wilson.
Alison Gold is Sylvie, the black kid is Loki, and Patrice is He who Remains. Instead of getting a threat that would make Doctor DOOM seem like an angry Chihuahua, we got a buffoon that could spend his time making awful music videos with little girls.
- But he's a variant of Kang!
Yes, he is and first impressions are very important. This Kang was, how shall I put this, underwhelming. I KNOW that this is anothwr setup for Doctor Strange 2. The problem is that it FEELS like a setup for Doctor Strange 2. The Glorious Purpose of this series was world building for Dr. STRANGE 2 AND the rest of phase 4. This was entertaining Filler... but it's still Filler. Hopefully, Black Widow is not a trainwreck.
The mystery of Cobra Commander's missing hooded head is *kinda* solved.
According to Super7 big boss, Brian Flynn, the hooded head is not allowed. Only the stupid Helmet head is allowed. Apparently, the reason the hooded head has been banned is
Because the Klan uses hoods and Cobra Commander uses a hood... Cobra Commander is a Klansman... Klansmen breathe... you breathe... You're a Klansman... see how stupid that logic is?
Also, aren't Hasbro making Baron Zemo toys?
I know, they turned the hood into a balaclava.
So, I'll let you reach the conclusion on your own.
Seriously, the Hood highlights the evil of CC much better than the Helmet. Personally, I fond the hood more terrifying than the Helmet.
I get the reflective surface of the helmet is so you can see yourself in Cobra Commander, but I AM NOT Cobra. The hood is more terrifying because it could be ANYONE underneath it. My brother, my father, my neighbor, my boss, my ex-father-in-law, ANYONE... and yes, even that super, super, loose association of Hoods = evil HELPS sell the whole Cobra Commander is evil AF.
I understand it that this self-censorship is to avoid the Twitter outrage mob. Let's remember that for a few years Hasbro kept GI Joe dormant. This was precisely to avoid the outrage mob. I understand the reasons but I find them stupid.
With the way things are going oh, Spirit iron knife is going to lose his traditional look. He's probably going to end up looking like Dora the Explorer with a bandana.
And it has BOTH Duke and Snake Eyes in one wave. The figures look nice, but not $55 nice.
Sure, they're MOTUC COMPATIBLE, but I can't justify paying for them. Sure they're Sunbow inspired, but I cannot pull the trigger...
-Let me guess, Cobra Commander has no hood.
Indeed, but that's not it. If these were $35-$40 I'd be all for them but for the price tag I can't see the value.
My other issue is that GI Joe has such a large roster that's Super7 seems like the wrong company to make this toy line. Remember that they were unable to finish the core character roster for the filmation He-man line. I don't feel like starting a GI Joe line and we end up with Tomax but not Xamot, 2 Dreadnoks and no Zartan, Bazooka and Big Lob but no Lady Jaye and Shipwreck.
Two more words: Army Building.
Cobra Troopers, Cobra Vipers, BATs, Crimson Guard, Python Patrol, Night Creepers, etc. Getting just 2 of each IF made, would be a
$660 hit not counting the multiple shipping charges and taxes where applicable. Compared to Hasbro's classified, where those $660 would get you close to 33 figures.
Unlike Silverhawks or Thundercats, there are OTHER places to get Joes from. *I* don't feel like I'm fan enough to do 2 Joe lines... at the current price point.
Good luck to B-Flynn and Super7, but I'll have to skip these.
Attempted endangerment of children and diseminating matter harmful to juveniles, yet all you got was 2 years of probation and 200 hours of community service... just because you're a celebrity. THIS is why the Justice System is messed up. Had this been John Q. Public, he would've gotten a couple of years in jail with the general population and runors about him being a chomo spread through prison.
Dude got off lightly. We all know the reason: he has money... I recall he had moved to Mexico and changed his name to Drake Campana... NOW it all makes sense. He was trying to flee the US for being an abusive asshole and now a possible chomo. It stinks that affluence can make nonsense of the regulations... but at least we have the memes
And let me just toss a Pato Campana song because I need something to close this rant other than a Drake Bell meme...
I knew Dan Schneider was fucked up, but I didn't expect that his creepiness would spread to the kids he worked with... but his light charges are missing something: Therapy. I know that people prefer harsh punishments for this behavior. I agree with that, but if he's getting such a wimpy sentence, we should include Therapy just for the sake of doing everything possible to remove those abberrant urges or at least decrease them to the point that he can function in normal society.
Apparently, Supergirl popping a zit is disturbing. This is due to her Kryptonian physiology being ridiculously amplified by Earth's Yellow Sun. This brings the infamous Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex argument...
Based on Kara's zit, Kal-El climaxing would be like an Oozinator with the power of a rocket launcher!!
How is the Justice League funded? Avengers? X-men? The Fantastic Four, despite having a bunch of patents, investments in technology and other sources of income, they have had quite a few brushes with bankruptcy. But who finds the League? Batman's operation alone is over half a Billion dollars. Multiply that with the costs of a fully stocked Hall of Justice, Watchtower, etc. Not even Bruce's pockets are that deep. Same thing with the Avengers. Tony's made out of money, but this operation is ridiculously big even for Ironman, whose expenses run over 8 BILLION per year. Not counting the billionaire playboy expenses.
I guess the answer lies in tax write-off donations for the billionaires in these worlds, international government funding, and other forms of obtaining funds. I mean, Punisher loots the warehouses and hideouts of those he kills. I just can't see Superman taking Money and tech from Lex Luthor and pawning it off to pay for League stuff...
Yes, I know the X-men have Crappola... Krakoa now, but back when Charles only had the school, the tuition didn't cover .05% of his operation costs. Is he scamming the world with telepathy?
Going back to Superman: Of Kara's zit makes the bathroom look like a pus-filled murder scene... Pee and Poop, that is all. In Kara's case, let's add Menstruation to the field.
We have seen how sensitive Peter Parker's Spider-sense can be. But can it detect certain dangers, like say a purposely punctured condom? Or when a girl (let's call her Gwen) lies sbout being on birth control and surprise! She has Goblin Babies.
Laura Kinney, X-23, clone of Wolverine with healing factor... she was also a prostitute... with Wolverine Healing factor that REGENERATES EVERYTHING!! Including her 🍒... think about it... or don't because that would lead to X-23 being jailbait when she was a prostitute.
We now know that Batman's afraid of cunnilingus. In the Old Man Logan Earth, Bruce Banner had sex with Jennifer Walters... was that normal incestuous sex, or did... wait for it...
Hulk Smash?
Inquiring minds want to know. Hopefully Jenn gave birth in She-Hulk mode, otherwise Gamma babies make Jenn go Boom!
Symbiotes...
Nuff said... now with that mindset, look at symbiotes again... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 🐙👭🥒💦
How Optic Blasts haven't blown Cyclops's head off his shoulders?
Captain America, peak human (not super) catches a 12lb. (5,44 Kg) Frisbee with ease and not breaking any bones.
Gambit can make things such as playing cards explode violently by turning the potential energy into kinetic energy... Vibranium stores lots of kinetic energy... Does Vibranium cancel Gambit, or does Gambit make Vibranium go Big Boom!?
Rogue sometimes CAN touch Colossus, but other times she can absorb his powers. SHE has sucked Ben Grimm too! Also after all these years fighting enemies with ways to neutralize mutant powers and having access to inhibitor collars, why hasn't she gotten one and had it mosified by Forge, Beast, or any supergenius mutant so she could go loud wearing normal clothes and even touch people without the whole power sucking thing.
Kitty Pryde's powers landed themselves for some awkward situations and roll the clip...
Now that we're back on sex... I know, I'm going Brodie here. If a villainess or jilted lover were to chop off Deadpool's penis would he grow another one and still be able to reattach the original one? I'm thinking having him stick his second one on his head so he could be Unicornpool... or Deadpoolicorn. AKA The one Deadpool variant that Hasbro would never make.
How is it that there aren't mass orgies at the Xavier School of higher Learning... or the Jean Grey version of it?
Sex Ed with GAMBIT!! That's like having Jeffrey Epstein oversee teenage pageants. But let's leave sex for a minute and wonder: is this an accredited school?
Going back to Inhibitor collars:
You know who could use one of those?
Cyclops
Yup, he could totally benefit from one collar. Being able to see Blue would be fantastic to Mr. SUMMERS.
Does Charles Xavier use his powers for good, or has he gone down the dark side and molested students before erasing their memories, or entered their minds while they're having intimate moments. Or mind-possessing a student to have sex with another. Like say, taking control of Colossus and have his way with Kitty. I didn't use Scott and Jean, because she would know...
Oh no... what if Charles has been keeping a secret: He still can get it up and has raped and mindwiped thousands of students...
I'd better leave it here otherwise I'll go down the clone saga and wonder about clones... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Tomorrow, we're getting Jurassic World reveals from Mattel. Hopefully these include the 6-inch Amber collection line that has been mostly populated by the original Jurassic Park cast. I believe only Crisp Rat has been the only non-JP character to be made for the Amber collection line.
I honestly don't care for anyone outside the cast of the original book. Maybe I'd get a Sarah Harding and Kelly Malcolm but that's a big maybe.
The characters yet to be made from the Original Jurassic Park are:
Robert Muldoon:
I expect to have his rifle shotgun... IIRC, he had a Rocket Launcher in the book... I suppose we could add an additional head without hat.
Donald Gennaro:
There's not much you can do with Gennaro. Extra head without a hat, separates at torso when he becomes T-Rex food extra hands... Mattel probably won't give us a toilet for him to sit on before dying. Book version was badass though.
Alan Grant:
Extra head without hat. One extra hand holding the fossil claw. Probably reuse the flare from Malcolm.
Henry Wu:
Again, another character whose movie version had very little to do. So the toy isn't THAT toyetic, but we got John Raymond Arnold, so Wu is kinda needed.
The kids:
I won't divide them because there isn't much to talk about them. Sure they get the night vision goggles. Tim would get the dinosaur book he bad and Lex gets a repainted computer.
And after these, I'll be out. Not interested in Lost World Stuff, much less JP3, or the Jurassic World stuff... OK I lied... I want the "Alan!" Raptor from JP3
Not gonna lie I would like a Ford Explorer with the Jurassic Park paint job... maybe with a WWE Slambulance or slamobile gimmick. A Jurassic Park Jeep would be nice as well for the 6 inch figures. I guess you might have noticed that what I wanted to make displays based on the original movie / book.
This is on preparation or anticipation for the Second Season of The Witcher on Netflix. The update is free so you won't have to Toss a coin to your Witcher...
My guess is that it'll be just skins. Geralt, Yennefer, Ciri, maybe Triss, and Dandelion (Jaskier) would be the ones with the Netflix skins. I don't think a free DLC would replace Doug Cockle's voice with Henry Cavill's.
This is not a complaint per se. It's cool that Super7 is doing some cool toylines, but the problem is that they're doing to many lines with large rosters. TMNT, Thundercats, GI Joe, Power Rangers, then there's Disney which is multiple lines in one. Wrestlers, musicians, etc.
With their delays and limited license tine, this could be bad news for some later longer lines. (At least Silverhawks isn't THAT big)
I feel like Small lines that can be done in 1-3 waves would work better. For example the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes cartoon:
Chad Finletter
Tara Boumdeay (with FT)
Wilbur Finletter
Dr. Gangreen
Igor Smith
Whitley White
Zoltan
Tomacho
Ketchuck
Beefsteak
Fangmato
Mummato
The core characters are Chad, Tara, Wilbur, Gangreen, and Igor. I added Whitley White to round up the roster and have a Human to Tomato ratio perfectly balanced.
I added Gangreen's Tomato 6 in their further mutated forms in order to have Killer Killer Tomatoes. Each Human character would have character specific accessories plus a couple of generic Killer Tomatoes. The smaller ones with eyes and teeth. The Tomato 6 would have their previous smaller versions in addition to character specific accessories and extra generic killer tomatoes. The idea is to have close to 36 killer tomatoes not counting FT, Tara as a Tomato or the Tomato 6. Each wave would be two humans and two tomatoes for the sake of balance.
I'm using the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an example of a small line. Also "cheap con repaint variants" can be made for some:
"Battle damaged" versions of Chad and Wilbur.
Basically same normal figure painted as if they're drenched in tomato liquid. Bonus if they add tomato or ketchup scent.
Tara can get a translucent red mid-transformation variant.
I wanted to say Centurioms, but another company is making those.
Jonny Quest could theoretically be another small line that they could do.
Thundarr would work too.
These short and sweet lines would allow Super7 to expand their portfolio WITHOUT spreading themselves too thin in comparison with taking too many "big and long lines".
